I'm just wondering. Did any of you that were betrayed just decide one day to stop asking about it or obsessing about it and get on with your relationship? Was it successful? Did he/she end up eventually talking about things you needed to know? I really think I've reached the point where I just have to stop asking and try to trust H or I have to get divorce and move on. I'm driving both of us crazy. Anyone have anything on this? <P>I love my H very much, but I have tried to take an honest look at myself to figure out what I was or wasn't giving him. I have really worn myself out with this one. He never told me that he needed something different or more. The things I thought I might be doing wrong, I tried to change, but look where it got me. Alot of my emotional needs have gone unmet(honesty, fun together, conversation), but I haven't had an affair. How do you explain a person who isn't having their emotional needs met, but they still don't have an affair? Am I just a glutton for punishment? Is there something about my personality that causes me to stick around for that?(besides the fact that I love him) <P>Anyone have some insight?

Very simular Lynn. I stopped asking soon after discovery. What more did I really need to know. When I did ask it was mostly stuff about her feelings. I was getting on with my life without her. Filed for divorce and did not bother her about anything.<BR>I too was constantly trying to meet her needs and was a failure for not even knowing them. When I started exploring this issue, is when I discovered too that none of my needs were being met. Those of us that have the maturity to deal with life as adults, don't depend on others to meet our needs. One time when I was having difficulty in my career, one of my associates was shocked to find out that my wife did not know about it. I told him that it is not my place to burden her with problems that she cannot solve. She's my wife, not my therapist.<BR>I know in my case that I just did not expect the marriage relationship to be great all of the time and she expected the marriage to be happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with us, we don't need other people to lean on...