Good morning Larouse,

It's not from the year 1942, it's a comemoritive edition, the distiller opened his first shop in 1942, so he later released this as a special anniversary edition, or something. Still, VERY yummy... Worth a drink if you get the chance <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> - Dru

[color:"blue"]
Don Julio 1942

I established my first tequila distillery in 1942 and to commemorate that very special year, I have created Don Julio 1942 a unique and limited edition/ I personally selected the stock for this new release. Its golden line and perfect clarity I find appealing and a testament to its purity. The aroma is sweet and ripe with layers of agave and notes of ripe apple and oak. The taste is smooth, rich and clean with oak and vanilla finish. Don Julio 1942 will appeal to both connoisseurs and collectors of fine tequila. I hope you enjoy it.[/color]

Sounds like Drucilla might need the warning to:

important safety message

I know plan A can't make him fall in love with me (I know that now), but you are right, I am in panic mode a lot of the time.

But I've also come to realize that as much as I love my H, I'll be OK if he decides to divorce me. I'm kind of glad he's not living with me at the moment because it's made me realize who I am as stph20 the person, NOT stph20 the wife. And I've also come to realize I have a support group around me that I could have never imagined. And that makes me so grateful for everyone around me (including you guys).

It's the fog thing that keeps confusing me and it's sooo hard not to listen to what WH is saying, especially when he's angry or has his guard up when he's talking to me.

I don't know...divorce. Not knowing what WH is up to on a daily basis. Not having him in my life as my H anymore. The fact that he may not love me anymore. If WH does D me, being alone for the rest of my life. Never finding someone who loves me as much as he did.

Although not as highly publicized, there is a BS fog too. I am not an expert on it but we apparently have our own.

Just remember that your WH is not your H. They are two different people. And, most importantly, the A was never your fault.

And you are 26 years old? 27?

You married young and have never really had an adult life without your H. Fear of being alone is probably a valid fear in that context. You lose part of yourself to the M. When you separate/divorce, it takes a long time to get that part of you back and discover who YOU are again. Because since you were a teenager, you haven't had to be just YOU.

Maybe that is part of what you are afraid of. You don't really know who you are.

I had wondered about BS fog on my thread, but no one ever answered me.

I just want my H back.

It may not have been my fault, he made the choice, but it was our marriage and the way I treated him that led him to it.

He just had me on this pedestal when we met. He used to tell me over and over that I was perfect. I have disappointed him in many ways over the years and I don't think he knows how to deal with that either. And neither do I.

I am 26. We met and started dating when I was 19 and got married when I was 22.

You're right, we've spent our entire adult lives together. It's hard to let go of that and all of our history, but it's not so bad living by myself and getting the chance to discover who I am and get to know the people around me whom I've "neglected" in favor of being with my H.

Him being gone is a lot easier than I expected it to be and that in itself scares me. I do miss him sometimes, but I don't need him here; I want him here.

If there are problems in a marriage, there are options: counseling to fix the problems, living with the problems or divorce to get away from the problems. Affairs are not an option.

I know that, but I didn't know the problems were as severe as they were until he told me about the affair. I'm not excusing him for whatsoever! But I can almost understand why he did it. I don't know. I know what I mean but I can't get it to come out right.

Well you and your WH have something in common. You both blame you for the A. The reality is that he was weak and betrayed a vow he made to you. I have gone back and reread that vow many times. It does not come with many caveats.

Well, don't be mean! I don't blame myself for the affair. But I was part of the problems in our M that led him astray. I know he's weak and he should have handled it differently, and I wish to God he would have, but he did it and now we both have to live with it.

I just cannot, for the life of me, figure out why he did this and he's the one who left me. I hate the fog!

You may never know why he did it. Look at chaos theory. It might have been something as simple as a butterfly flapping its wings in China.

I am not trying to be mean. I am trying to tell you that you need to let go of this guilt. You are not the one who has betrayed your M. Did you make mistakes? Most all of us did. You have every right to be mad as he!! at your husband. I hope you can get angry some day. You need it. Then it will pass.

Well I said most of us. Don't try to tell ToddAC he made any mistakes or he'll start quoting Frank Pittman again.

Guys, I am off to bed.

I know you're not trying to be mean. And I don't feel guilt for his A. I feel regrets for not treating our M as the gift it was, but I know his decisions and his way of handling things are all on him.

Why do I need to get angry? I don't see how that will serve any purpose in saving my M.

Me neither!....er....what exactly are 'guidelines'?



Personally, Larousse...I prefer a GRAND MARNIER....picked up a very big bottle at the duty free when I went to NYC with the boys...and am thoroughly enjoying 'seeping' it....no dent in it....I drive better than that!

Hi Myrta,

....am I mistaken or you are a FWW?....either way...I find you very 'insightful' and a great help to camarade Pio...

stph,



Yes....it is....and yes, it is not fair.....but fairness has little to do with reality! ...and you will be less resentful if you start with the premise that: LIFE IS NOT FAIR

.....and where do you go from there?



...that is a well known WS technique to keep BS confused.....BS's response?.....in one ear out the other.... until NC with OW happens!



stph...sounds you are coming along just fine...keep up the good work! ...you want your H.....keep reminding yourself that what you have on your hands right now....is a WS. It's confusing because they look alike!



stph...that is EXACTLY what your WS wants you to think.....so he can blame you for all the trouble he has gotten both of you into by choosing to have an A!

Please don't buy into his 'story'....and become an 'enabler'.



Sweet dreams, Pio.

I am not suggesting you get angry at WH. On the contrary. Don't get angry at him. You need to get angry, close yourself in a room and break something. You need to anger to help you heal.

I Love SF

The official MB t-shirt.

I"m 10 minutes from SF (the city, 24-hrs away from the other).... I've had visitors no toilet paper can discourage <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />. Two weeks I had one group stay! Should have brought back some tp from Germany. It's horrendous! I had other American women offering to buy my little kleen-ex packs! - Dru

Yes Myrta is FWW. I think she is PR but won't swear to it.

Hey, I'll go toe to toe with any of them but Myrta scares the heck out of me. I'll R with gemela just so Myrta won't get mad. Did you see The Hulk? Well, you get the idea. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Alright, Pio, if it's a trick question I am falling for it....but, what is PR?

....and anyway, weren't you off to sleep?....or are getting to be like...Todd....Superman who needs no sleep! (...just a bit confused by wearing underwear OVER his tights!)

I'm on MSN to WW. We are trying to get one of her tickets bought on-line. Just finally got it paid but am still on MSN