LA,

Its good to see you also! We are going to be in Iraq a little longer (2-3 weeks), which is not so fun. FWW/WW was almost in tears when I told her I might be late getting back. She says she just wants to start working on us.

FWW has been sick the last 4 days and hasn't really been to talkative or up on sending emails like she has been the last 3 weeks. I can't stop wondering if OM has made contact.

Anyways, back to your post. Once I lose trust for someone, I have never managed to put trust in that person again before. Also, as long as I have certain truths that I know and she is lying about, how can I realistically trust anything she says?

I want to share my feelings, but I don't want to rock the boat from over here. I told her this and she said that I would feel better if I talked to her about it. She then reminded me that we need to communicate to get past this.

I guess I just have to tell her that I need the whole truth truth from her, with no questions or coaxing from me to heal. I have caught her in lies that she doesn't even know I know. This is all stuff I want to bring up at home, not from over here.

As far as the sharing goes, I have started to pull myself back from her again in defense. When I thought it was ovr it was easy to share, but now that she seems to be back its hard b/c I don't want to let myself feel let down again.

I have gotten very good at listening and repeating. It has increased our understanding of each other alot, but it is sometimes annoying to me. I only use it b/c it works very well, I'll get used to it.

I should be home in 55 days if all goes well. The original count would have had me at 26 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Oh well, thats the way the army rolls.

Have a good one all!! And thank you for the continued advice and support!!

USSoldier

How about a post/Bn chaplain? Or the pastor in a local church? People that could unexpectedly stop by, check on her whereabouts, whatever?

You might also explain to your wife what your issue is. She violated the most basic trust between you...and that trust takes time, AND DEMONSTRATED TRUSTWORTHINESS OVER THAT TIME to rebuild.

Tell her that you appreciate all that she's done, but you're not sure how to rebuild that trust...make HER come up with ways to prove yourself to you that you can accept.

I can understand your situation...I'm ex-Army myself, so I can easily envision what you're going through. Hope this might give you some thoughts on ways to manage it.

US Soldier, what's your status? Are you still unsure about what's going on at home? If so THERE ARE things you can do. I WAS IN YOUR SHOES 6 MONTHS AGO. PM me if you want to talk.