It's been a while since I posted here. Mostly because WW and I are pretty much on the same status that we've been at for the last couple of months, and also because I've gone back to school and am working hard to get my degree by October.

But I have some very big news that happened today that I feel I need to share with my friends here.

Today when WW went in to work, she was fired. I'm not going to get into details, but basically she made a bad decision a couple weeks ago, word got back to her boss, and she was let go.

The interesting thing is that it can all be traced back to her A with OM. The start of the A was the starting point of her downward spiral.

It's too bad though that she's still so much in the fog, I doubt this is going to have any real impact on her (she doesn't seem very upset about it). So I don't think she's going to see the lesson to be learned here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />.

On a positive note, I did get offered the new job! It's going to expose me to cool new technology, and provide a big boost in my income, and now I don't have to dread working in the same building as WW, since she won't be there anymore.

Also, DD is doing very well. We are enjoying our time together when WW flies off to be with OM. She just got back last night from a week long getaway with OM, over the holiday.

Glad you got the job.

Sorry for the continueing marriage problems (what an undestatement - huh?)

Keep on doing what is best for youself, and your DD, that's all you can do for now. If your WW died, you would just make the best of things. Do it anyway the best way you can.

SS

Most excellent!

Just don't let WW try to con you into paying her bills now that she's unemployed and you've effectively gotten a raise...

GF, congrats on the job. God works in ways we sometimes get to see so clearly.

Good Father,

Please don't fall to the temptation to not make her face the realities of her decisions.

Crocodile tears can turn a grown man's legs to guacamole. Let her slide to where she is going and when the abyss is reached she will be dazzled to look up and see the lighthouse of your character.

Sounds like you're on the right track GF! My son is off to Paris for the summer and I'm wanted to make sure you were doing all right. I realize in the back of your mind you may be feeling bad for your WW losing her job, but she has to realize that her actions have consequences. My EX Wife has blamed all of her results on me. Says she can't return to Seattle because of what I did, taking absolutely no responsibility for her own behavior. Do you see the correlation? Your WW needs to see that everything that is happening to her is due to her actions. It's like any other addict. Abuse of alcohol or drugs has similar results. You on the other hand are continuing to succeed. You will be rewarded for your behavior even though you may suffer minor setbacks.

I'm sure your daughter loves mommy very much. But that doesn't mean that she does not notice that mommy isn't there for her when daddy does. Before I dropped my DS9 off for his flight to Paris, he told me, "mommy scares me sometimes." My ex-wife has serious anger issues. She calls the kids liars if she doesn't like the answer, yada yada. Right before he got on the plane, he ran up to me and gave me two BIG hugs and told me he loved me.

Your daughter needs you to be the example of temperance. You need to firmly tell her what behavior is not OK and why...when it comes up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I think you mentioned that WW wanted to get a condo. I'd say this weekend would be great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

GF,

Great news on both fronts! Congratulations on your new job and your WW’s losing her job is very good for your sitch.

I basically agree with what everyone has said here. I would also like to note that if you help with WW with expenses during this time, you would be directly paying WW’s lawyer to destroy you and your family. As long as WW can pay her attorney, she can pay her expenses. That should be your short term motto.

God bless.

She is so addicted, thats why she doesn't care about anything but getting her fix.

She has chose her addiction over:

1. You
2. The Family Home
3. Your Marriage
4. Her Daughter
5. Her Health
6. Your Financial Integrity
7. Her Reputation
8. And now, Her Job

I can't imagine whats left for her to try and destroy.

Have you told your attorney about your wife's job loss yet? Please make sure you do, its important.

You're doing a great job, J. I'm so proud of you for holding it together for your daughter.

Jo

BTW,

I hope you are resisting the urge to compromise. Your combined job changes just put you in the lead for being best able to provide for your daughter. It is a big factor in the "best interests of the child" test. The reasons "why" she got fired may also be interesting fodder for any evaluator or judge. I'm betting the reasons she got fired would demonstrate instability and irresponsibility.

Let your attorney know. Her interrogatories should at least address the reasons for the termination and a copy of her employment file.

Mr. Wondering

Hi Mr. W,

I happen to know for a fact the "reason" she was fired will not bode well in court in terms of her work character or integrity if brought up, ethically speaking.

Thats why I urge GF to inform his attorney.

Jo

Thanks for all the replies!

Yes, this is good news for my situation. She's not paid her lawyer since April, and now it sounds like paradise is not so wonderful now. I heard her having a physudo arguement with OM over the phone last night.

Her life is falling apart around her ears, and she's too blind to realize it.

I almost feel bad for her.

Oh, and Jo, I have informed my attorney <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I'm still waiting to hear what the ramifications are of the lost job.

Ok, I've had access to WW's email since she lost her job, she's been using our personal email account that she doesn't think I look at, and hasn't even bothered to change the password.

Anyway, I asked my mom for a loan to help pay our bills because our refinance for the 2nd mortgage fell through when WW lost her job.

I sent her an email this morning regarding it, and this is what she said to OM:

So he asked his Mom for a loan to get us by until I start working but she said
it is not to pay any of my bills (like my car) read below...
I told him that all the bills need to be pay since I was floating us for months
if not years, below is his response.
Now you kknow why my Mum wants me out of here, these are the mental games I
dealt with our whole marriage. I called <lawyer> this morning to discuss what I
stated to you last night (only dissuss with me via phone) and I would like talk
about it with you mext week when I come but I will tell you that at least a have
a big grin on my face which I haven't for a while (=
Thank you for talking through things with me, I feel soooo much better. xo


What the heck is she talking to her lawyer about? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure that she did, and she's just continuing her lies to OM...but I'm not sure, so I called and left a message for my lawyer to see if she can find out what WW is planning.

Anyway, any input would be nice.

Thanks!

Hi GF -

Good work.

Please consider not interferring with her whatsoever. Keep your nose clean. What I mean is to let the house of cards fall apart all on its own. You very likely don't need to help it - and by getting close to it falling you may provide her with more BS scapegoating opportunities. Know what I mean?

WAT

Thanks for the update. I haven't posted to you much, but I've been an active follower.


That is a spooky sentence. Very spooky...

I'm probably way behind you on what you can/cannot use as evidence and such. But I'd really recommend you forward those emails from that account to another address that only you have access to.

Since this is an email account for both your wife and yourself, I'm guessing you can keep all those copies for whatever purpose they might be necessary in the future.

Just remember to clean out the 'Sent' folder if the email account keeps track of sent emails.

Yes, that is where I'm seeing all of them.

We've known for a long time she is devious. You just got too comfortable AGAIN.

Based on the email, she has plans to try and blindside you in some way legally. The part where she writes about "only discuss with me via phone" is where I get the distinct feeling she is doing something very underhanded. Like a lamb to slaughter.

Sorry, call me paranoid if you want. Just like WAT recommended, keep your nose clean and your guard up. I'd also suggest you keep vigilence in snooping and guarding your side of things. Do not become complacent.

Jo

I'm betting the grin is that OM and her believe that it makes no difference what bills you pay and which you do not. They likely think all marital debt will be split up equally at the divorce (and it's funny cause she racked it up so much lately). Maybe they think you'll get more of the debt since you have a job. OM has convinced her of this during her talks with him but it's usually not accurate when one spouse has been wayward. Expenses undertaken after the divorce filing are hers and usually debt incurred in pursuit of an adulterous affair can be allocated only to the wayward spouse. Confirm this with your attorney.

Additonally, they likely think that with your new job and her loss of job you'll get stuck paying her alimony or at least you'll not be eligible for alimony and massive child support yourself.

They see your position monetarily as weaker due to the change of circumstances however they are ignoring the fact your position is stronger for full/primary custody. What else would OM think is so great...he gives two craps about the kid...he is all about "show me the money".

W

I re-read it and I think OM has told her he wants her to fight for custody of your daughter. That he wants to raise her as his own. I could very well be wrong, but its def a possibility.

Also, another possibility is she knows you are reading these emails and she is "playing" you. I don't put anything past her since the day she had you legally removed from your home on bogus claims and the night she and OM laughed at you when you requested she stop talking to him on her cell in front of you. I think she, and OM, are evil.

Jo