My H cannot keep any secrets and I knew something was up after he returned from a trip. He wasn't acting normal for him so I asked him what was up. He told me he had had an A. It started on the internet, then onto phone calls and finally to meeting. When it got physical, he could no longer stand the guilt. We have been in counceling for the past two weeks and that has definitely helped us in moving forward. He told the OW that they could have no more contact if our marriage had any hope of surviving. I'm still in shock ,hurt, humiliated, etc. Things will never be as they were, but hopefully we will come out of this better & stronger.

{{{{JEO}}}}

Sorry that you are in this situation. I'm glad that you have found MB.

There are many people here who CAN say they are stronger and better. It will take an enormous amount of work. That your h came to you is a very good sign.

You need to immediately educate yourself. I would recommend a crash course on affairs, esp. around Internet relationships. You need to prepare yourself for the short term and the long term. Read as much as you possibly can here at MB - there are many articles and many excellent posts from people who have been in similar situations.

Put together a plan of action for you both. MC and IC will be important to your recovery.

JEO, I know you are still in shock. Be sure to take care of yourself. You will need your health and strength (physcially and mentally) to get through this. Invest in yourself right now.

It may sound paranoid, but don't assume it is over because he has said so. A 'no contact' letter is considered vital. He needs to be an open book about his life and you need to verify. Esp. you need access to all his email accounts.

I am just past two years since I discovered my h's long term affair. Our behavior is healthier in our marriage. He has said over and over how much happier he has been the past two years. But we are not over it. It is hard hard work.

Keep posting and reading here. It will truly help you through this.

hns

{{{{{{JEO}}}}}}}}}}}}

Checking in on you. I hope you are continuing to visit MB and reading up as much as you can. The Harley concepts really will help you and your h and your marriage.

hns