Today's thought is:



Learn to say I am



We hear a lot about becoming whole. "Become a complete human being." "Start on the pathway to becoming whole." "You won't find romantic love until you know you're complete." Frankly, these kinds of comments often confused me. But then I decided that wholeness relates directly to the process of detaching --letting go.



It's admirable to go after our dreams and know what we want to accomplish. But after we identify what it is we're after, we need to let it go. We need to know in our hearts and souls that we're okay whether we ever get what we're after or not.



Another friend described it this way, "It's the old Zen Buddhist thing," he said. "When you're one with yourself, life becomes magical. You can get whatever you want."



The most powerful and magical words we can say in the language of letting go are these: I am.



Then we step it up one notch by learning to say, I am complete just as I am.



God, help me know the power of the words I am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoping Finally learning is reading here....

Man...I'm having a low day and here Pep is spewing profoundity at me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Pep.

I needed that.

"i Am " is the first name God called Himself by. Jahweh.

I got "spewed" first ... Mr Pep spontaneously emailed me this one

*sheesh*

(hehe)

Did you like my new word?

profoundity

I like it.

Tell the Mr. you like it when he spews profoundity....

Not sure FL is around today, but FF sure is listening. Had a very hurtful morning due to someone NOT in my family. I need to let it go and not let this virtual stranger have such power over me. I know who and what I AM. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I am

i don't know why i went back so far into time. i just did.

i was away from my computer since last thurs until late this afternoon.

it's late now, i'm at work for another 30 min.

when i think of the words "I am" I think of God and how we are supposed to think of always staying in the present.

which, now that i mention it, i stink at doing!!!

i'm too tired to think much more right now.

i did have a nice weekend for the most part. DH and I had some struggles but we had some good times too. we even had one very good talk. i need to work on instigating more of them. he is open to talking. but i have to be the catylst.

i was thinking of asking him sometime the question bob posed recently... BS do you forgiven yourself for staying?

do you think that would be a good idea or a bad idea?

i keep re-asking myself the question you asked me last week: "how smiley are you?"

i'm trying to increase my smiles when i'm around him.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I am a very smiley person

it seems to attract mostly positive responses

why not smile?

Thank you! I've often been concerned about the comcept of being "whole" or "complete" before you can find true love. Why? Because, for me, it implies some sort of "perfection", a sense of reaching some standard of "worthiness". It just feeds some of my old scripts about having to be perfect to get what you want. Well, as a human being...it ain't gonna happen!

At other places on this forum, I've talked about how it doesn't matter how "whole" or "complete" or "healed" or "non-codependent" I am, I cannot make love with myself, hug myself, etc.

Children develop through "relationships", good or bad. Relationships are one way we learn more about ourselves, and may learn options we have never considered.

Yes, we need to heal and not just hit rebound relationships. But, what level of wholeness or completion are we holding out as a standard of readiness to be in a relationship?

What a joy it is to read "Today's thought"!

Something I heard Jamie Lee Curtis say once...Replace the word "have" with the word "get"...So...


becomes...

I get to be the catalyst...

That one little word helps me to change my perspective about a lot of things...

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

pep, i actually am a very smiley person, when with the kids, and when at work...

but i lose it when i am around DH. not all the time, but more often than not. sometimes i fear i will never heal as long as i am around him. he is a constant reminder of my failures. (i hope that does not offends any BS. I am not wanting to offend anyone. i'm just putting my thoughts done in the hopes it will help me.)

i do ok if he is happy. but if he is not, i am not. i blame myself for his unhappieness.

my head tells me i have to break the dependency of only being able to feel good about myself as long as he is ok.

that i don't have to wait for him to heal for me to heal.

but my heart will not listen to anything my head tries to say. what right do i have to be happy when i have caused him such unhappiness. that is the best answer i can give you to "why not smile"

regarding "I am" i dont think i am getting the point of this at all...

just be it & quit jaw'in 'bout it

being content with life is a whole lot simpler than you make it out to be

hmmmmmmmmmmm



be sure you pass this >cough< wisdom onto your children

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

ever think of this ~~~> YOUR happiness is important to your husband & he will be happier when he sees that you are

*duh*

what fun is simple???

ok, so i suppose it does not logically sound very wise.

i didn't say it was!!!

i do realize i need to break the cycle. which means i have to change my behavior pattern.

right now, when he is unhappy (which includes being very unapproachable) i respond by getting quiet, shrinking back, internalizing and eventually i'll start to beat myself up.

so we all agree... this is not working for me!!

Great thought for the day and everyday....I will re-read this again and again. Thanks.

i am really not understanding the original posts.

i am ===> accept who you are???

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

you are so much fun !

What fun is complicated and scary?

caveman syndrome

he's thinking & repairing ... alone

my H does this .... I go shopping or read or otherwise don't OWN it

his pouting is not painful for me any more

I ask ... "Do you need me for anything?"

if "no" or *grunt* ... I step away .... dancing my dance

Pep

fine!!! you forced me into it.

harass, harash, harass,

that's all you ever do!!!

i'll dance my dance regardless of his mood.

ok???

are you happy now.