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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176 |
If your 'alien spouse' is out of the house living in their own apartment, saying they want a D, but yet also saying very bad things about you (i.e. that they think your homosexual, or that they think you always lied about your feelings toward them, etc.) and then telling you not to say anything about it to anyone about this would you?
Words of Faith from Abbie
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fullfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" Habakkuk 2:3 (TLB)
"If I have faith like a grain of mustard seed, I can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to me." Matthew 17:20
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
If you're asking if you should expose the affair, the answer is a resounding YES!
You don't need a poll on this forum to determine this!
The fact that the WS is saying bad things about you is "normal." Scapegoating the BS is the first thing a WS does. They HAVE to.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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Joined: Sep 2005
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Let me get this straight, you abused your husband until he left and he has said a few nasty things about you and you are offended?
If you want into an abused husband's mind, you might want to ask me a few questions and I'll answer them the best that I can.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176 |
Well, I'm not so sure there is an affair going on. I know that there is a friendship and I know that there isn't a physical thing going on. However, what I don't know is if there is an emotional type of attraction. I've confronted H about this and of course was met with anger. I will soon talk to OP and see what they have to say. I just wanted to see what people would do inregards to if the spouse says that he has a problem with something, i.e. he doesn't feel loved, and then you start showing him love and he starts saying well it's just to late sorry "I'm done!"
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037 |
If my wife was to suddenly "realize" what se has done to me and abruptly change, I would not believe her either.
I want payback for the past 10 years of torture and I know it's wrong, but that is the truth to how I emotionally feel.
He wants you to see how he has felt. Some empathy not apathy.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176 |
Pariah if you shoot me an email I'd love to talk to you about what's going on. The problem is I don't want to get into some of the details on here because I think my H and pals are lurking. I'd love to have some of your insite on abused H so please shoot me an email.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
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My filter here at work forbids yahoo addy's for some freaking reason.
Here was my email to you.
Ok, I'll tell you anything that I am capable of.
PS, I am going to remove my addy in 1 hour or until you reply for my own protection's sake.
My wife's abusiveness stems from her resentment of how her family treats her
and I have a suspicion that it's partially genetic as her mother is a freakshow in mental instability.
I am at my wit's end and am contemplating abandonment of my family for my sanity and safety's sake.
She has even bragged about abusing me to her family with me standing right there.
I hope I can help, as I truly wish my wife would finally wake up and see what she has done.
Last edited by Pariah; 07/26/06 09:05 AM.
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 176 |
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412 |
abused,
I'm not sure your spouse is an "alien"...meaning I'm not sure he's "fogged". I know you're willing to work on the past abuse issues....but you may need to understand that the love bank got so dry that your H finally walked away. I don't think telling other people is going to help in this situation. In fact....I think it could appear like more abuse to some folks. I think the best thing you can do....is show consistent change, deal with your past sexual abuse issues, stop trying to "control" and hope that he sees that before he becomes attached to someone else. You were emotionally and verbally abusive (according to you) so I'm not surprised he's talking about that to other people. It might not be right....but it's not surprising either.
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