I'm so distressed. I have hurt my husband so bad. Someone please talk to me.

HOF,

Calm down, and how have you hurt your H?

It's the first time I'm alone at the house without my houseband. I group of girls from the chhurch came to cook some things for a Sunday family dinner. One of the girls, daughter of the minister, got late and drunk to her house and her father try to came into my house very angry. My husband doesn't drink and we don't have alcohol in the house. The girls says one of my husband workers abused of her. My husband is away getting his horses to a safe place from the fires and I can't get him on his cel yet. I called the administrator of the ranch and put extra security around the main house. I'm so afraid. My husband is a man of god and heat scandals and this was the first time he let me in charge of the house. The girl that got drunk doesn't live in town always, she came from vacations from colege. No someone said to me that in the past she pursued my husband. She's saying so horrible things about my husband and I. I think she got in our bedroom while the other girls and I were cooking. This is so horrible. How could this happend. My husband married to me when I was 16 in my country and we came here one year ago. My father is Minister in my hometown and has known my husband all his life. My father will be very ashamed of me for causing distress to my husband. What do I do?

HOF,

I hope you are ok. I don't know exactly what you have done, and I want you to know that there are alot of people here who are very caring and have great advice. If you need help this is the place to get it.

I'll check in again in a little while.

Just try to stay calm.

I'm not sure I understand?? Are you concerned that your H will be mad that this girl came into your house?

Yes, USSoldier and thanks for talking to me, I've praying so hard. I'm afraid that this is causing so much trouble. The father of the girl trying to break into my house. He shouting that my husband is not a man of God for thigs his daughter says she saw on our bedroom. The worked acused of touching. This is so horrible.

I would suggest giving your H a call and let him know what is going on. I am not an expert, but he will at least be able to help. Don't try to hide this from him, let him help you. I can only make suggestions from what I know at this point. You will be ok!

Horsesofgood,
This girl had no business going into your bedroom.
And what happened between someone who works for your husband and this girl is not your fault, is it?
So don't panic.
Talk to your husband and simply tell him what has happened.
You have done nothing wrong.

Wait....back up. Are you using some sort of translating system to post? Portions of your post is not making sense. What is your primary language?

1st I would (with witnesses present) ask the girl's father what his daughter was doing in your bedroom. That she was not invited there and you do not appreciate having your family's good name trampled through the mud with false accusations.

Then ask he go get his daughter some psychiatric help. Talk to your children and find out if they know what she was doing in your room.

So why are you so scared?

L.

Did your husband do something to this girl? What was she doing in your bedroom?

Good morning, thanks for your replays. I just noticed that maybe this was not the place to write about my problem. Please excuse me. I had never writen in a forum before. I wrote in this site because my husband has a link to it in his pc screen and sometimes he read things from here to me.
I have not had much sleep but I feel more calmed now. I'm afraid of the concecuences of this girl coming into my house because my husband is very private and doesn't like to have people into the house. The main house, our house was built by his father and has some luxuries that some people at the church consider exesive. I think I'm afraid of the damage done to my husband good name because it was my faul that the girls got into my house. My husband told me to use the big kitchen that is use to process some vegetables of the ranch and to feed the workers but I had never use it and when we got there I didn't know how to use some things, so I decided to use our family kitchen. I didn't realize then but I was disobeying my husband instructions and now I feel that is my main fault and I feel my husband will be very disapointed with me. My husband and many people around here has catle and horses, during this time of the year they keep them in other lands. Thursday many man had to go to get the animals closer to here because there was a risk that the animals were tramped betwn some lands that got fire recently. So my husband took some workers with him. His administrator went to another area to get more cattle back. So I was left with some workers around our main house and my husband told me to supervise the usal tasks around here. That is why I feel I have left my husband down. Every year the church has a special dinner to welcome misioners that every year go to the country I came from in Asia. Some girls, that mainly come from my same town, were going to cook some special dishes for this dinner. I didn't invite the minister daughter, I didn't know her before because she doesn't live here, in this town, most of the year. I think she got in my bedroom when the other girls and I were cooking. The house is big and from the kitchen you don't know who is where. My husband and I don't have children yet and that is critisised by some people in the church because the church doesn't suport the use of unatural metods of control. The sherif came last night and wrote what I told him. All the girls left at 6 in the afternoon. I'm sure no one stayed inside because the main gate has security and they write who goes in and out. Later in the night,like at past midnight the father of this girl came to the ranch, he said that I gave alcohol to his daughter and that one of my husband workers had abused her. I told the man that we don't drink and that we don't have alcohol, he traid to get into the property by force to veryfi that there is not alcohol and the men that protect the ranch didn't let him. He stood outside saying horrible things about me and my husband and people of the town started to apear in front of my house. I was very afraid. My husband cel is not working yet because of the area where he is right now. I called the administrator of the ranch to come here imediatly, he was in another land to bring cattle here. He got here and put more security and the sheriff came from another town. The administrator say that the man that the girl is acusing dont work for my husban permanently. It seems the girl met him some where near our ranch and they went somewhere and she got drunk. She got late to her house and told his father that she had drink in my house but all the other girls arrived at their houses before 8 in the night. I'm more calmed now that the sherif is here and the administrator is here but I feel very sad inside because I feel I have left my husband down very badly. He will be shocked by this scandal. He is man of God and he is very good to me and I always obey him but I don't know why I did not thought when I brougt the girls to my house. Something that is bothering me too is that the girl say to other girl that my husband knows her in a biblic sense but my husband and I were both virgins when we got married. what bothers me is that this girls knows of a operation my husband had in his body many years ago. Sorry this is so confusing. I'm only child and my mom die in a war in my hometown, my father is a christian man but he doesnt like that I talk to him if I hadnt talk with my husband before and I dont want to talk to the people of the town to avoid more gosips. Thank you in Christ.

Is there a way to know when a man is virgin? I hope I don't ofend anyone, if I do please tell me and I earase this.

horsesofgood,

I think that I see what has happened. The girl went off with some man, but she does not want to tell her father who it was. So, since he knew she was at your house, she decided to blame you and make up some other things. I don't think you did anything wrong, and there is not reason yet to believe that your husband did either.

How old is this girl? Do you know the name of the man she was with? Can anybody say that they saw the two of them together at a bar or someplace?

If this girl is from a family which does not drink alchol, I suppose it is possible that she is naive and somebody gave her something that she did not know what it was. But, this is unlikely. More likely she is just a rebelious girl. If she is telling lies about what happened at your house yesterday, then we can expect that she has told other lies. It seems quite likely that your husband had nothing to do with it - that it is some fantasy that she has imagined.

If your husband is truly a godly man, he will understand this and he will be quick to tell you that you did nothing wrong. A godly man does not make his wife fear him when she has done nothing wrong.

-AD

I know of no way to tell a man's a virgin...physically or otherwise.

I do know that what others think, of your reputation and your H's, relies solely on what you believe of yourselves. You know you did no harm...you did not make a bad decision. You did not harm your H. You can only control yourself.

Your H may not like mess...life is messy. Stand by your truth and be at his side as he stands by his. God is in others, too...this isn't an attack...it is a father who is struggling within himself, layers and layers, to find his own truth and the truth from his daughter.

Not yours to wrestle. As AD said, and I back him up...not yours.

LA