I was home from work today...ds and I are sick...he's a touch better than I...his fever broke and his doc said he could attend his first baseball practice...so we went this afternoon...me feeling yucky w/red red throat and zippo energy. And darth has proclaimed himself the new assistant coach! Yippee! His cell phone kept ringing off the hook as the Wistress is freaked out every time Darth has to be alone or in same proximity with me. He finally tossed the darn phone down and just let it ring...he he he.

I have a date tomorrow evening. And another one next week...two different guys...weierd I know.

And my xfil was at the practice and we sat together...He again asked me to come to see them and visit them when I go to my sis and bro in law's or back home...they're 40 min. from my sis and bro. I said that I would like to...but that my xh is married to somebody else and it might not be kosher. He said "oh pshaw...don't say that." Did manage to look smashing again today at the game though...take that you phone calling psycho ow wifey! I hope she has a nervous breakdown b/c of it! She freaked out last year when my xh was asst. coach of ds's soccer team and made him step down...said we had too much contact...what a loooooser she is! I said to him..(I didn't talk to him much at all..."Darth..don't step down this year. Your son needs you doing this and if this is what you commit to do...then FINALLY COMMIT TO DOING SOMETHING 100 percent ok?" He said he would not step down this year. He knew what I meant. And earlier today we got into it (short convo) as he asked me if I would not go to all the practices or games...I said WHA WHAAAAT? I asked him why. Basically it's b/c the Wistress is snapping down on him. She is soooo totally freaked out that I am there. I told him that he should ask her for his cajones back as they're missing! He got mad..then calmed down and actually laughed. But I told him that NO WOMAN...ESPECIALLY A FORMER HOMEWRECKER WILL TELL ME WHERE OR WHEN I CAN BE. I TOLD HIM TO TELL HER TO DARE ME. He quited down immediately. So I actually had MY XH tell me that he was afraid for me to go to the baseball games for my son...as my presence...MY VERY PRESENCE scares the heebeejeebies outta the OW/W!

See BS? See the power we wield? Did ya know it? I do know. And it's fun. I am now going to make every attempt to dress cutely and look incredible just to freak her out...and in the event she's there? I will smile and be calm...and stay to myself as I always do...and just know that my presence is enough to STEAL HER SECURITY JUST AS SHE STOLE MINE! What goes around comes around baby...and Wistress best step off! I can't even believe that darth actually asked me to not come. He sounded wierd when he said it...

I feel yucky. I am still somewhat down b/c of inability to sleep due to throat...think I downed a gallon of chloraseptic today...not looking forward to work tomorrow.

Wish me luck on date tomorrow btw.

But point of this darn post is this...BS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN THEY THINK! WE FREAK OUT THE OP BECAUSE OF WHO WE ARE!..No matter how much history they re-write, there is out past...and on some level...at some small point in the soul of the WS...the truth exists! And they acknowledge that...

Guess my presence at the birthday party was enough to send her into a tizzy! lmao. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ok...got up...got ready for work...and then started coughing even more...and spit up some blood...my throat is totally ground meat...I feel horrid! I was soooo gonna try to go in today.

So...had to reluctantly call in and say I was not coming in...fever is up a tad...100.2...and I feel lousy.

I am hopefully going to be able to zzzzz in a bit. I couldn't sleep much of the night due to throat hurting soo bad. I also have 2 red ears...bleech.

this totally stinks...being sick..being unable to have anybody help you out...that is what stinks about being single now...having to do it all yourself whether you feel like it or not...not having anybody there to bring you hot tea...or be or say nice things...arrrrgh!

I can barely talk. I feel like roadkill right now. I can barely taste anything..thank goodness b/c cough syrup tastes monstrous.

please send good karma...prayers and the like? I really need it. I am supposed to be off friday from work to drive to FL w/ds and best friend and her son (my son's best friend from school)...and I don't want to miss too much b/c I don't want to use that much vacation time. I am sick to death of this! sometimes it totally bites to be single and this is one of those moments <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hi JP

Sorry you are felling so yucky - have a good rest and eat well, or drink (not alcohol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) well if eating is too difficult with such a sore throat. It sure sounds like a honker of a sore throat.

It does suck doesn't it to be sick, single and a Mother where you just can't shut off and have someone else take care of you, DS and everything else that needs to be done.

I am hoping that this will pass quickly for you and you have an enjoyable break this coming weekend. Hang in there and look after yourself.

Here is some virtual tea, my dear.
___
\_/°

I'm sorry I can't bring you a real cuppa !
And now rest rest rest...

BTW have you seen a doctor about this?
It sounds a bit too much to self-medicate!

Throat = self expression, vulnerability
Inflammation = suppressed anger breaking out
hmm.. maybe those new age guys are on to something here?

(((JustPeachy)))
you'll be fine.

NZgirl...thank you! God bless you too!

Brown hair...love the cup of tea! In fact, that and hot soup is all that feels good to me whatsoever...I went to a place that has soups and salad yesterday and had big chunk c hicken soup...I am craving that. That and cold stuff and hot tea.

And not all new agey things are bad...you may be onto something with the throat/inflammation thing...but I am following doc's prescription..zpak. and have seen doc...

thank you so much! I always like to learn...and I am gonna look into that throat and inflamm. stuff! neat!

am home today. woke up for work...slept only 3 hours b/c of throat. And coughed up a touch of blood today. did NOt go in. I feel horrid! the house is getting gross too. so I have to figure out that I have to clean this today!

I am supposed to be leaving on vacation friday...btw...

I am home today w/ sinus infection. I want some tea, too.

I have no chicken soup. That is all that sounds good. My eggplant casserole, good as it is, is NOT what I want to eat. There are no leftovers that I want and I don't feel like going to the store.

I'm helping w/ a wedding reception Saturday. I am supposed to be baking some things for it and I feel like crud. This is not a good picture. Hope my meds kick in SOON!

JP,

Sorry to hear that you are so sick...but I wanted to thank you for the post....I hadn't thought of how OW could feel threatened sometimes by the very existence of BS!

WS and OW work at DS10's school....first day back at school when I went to pick up DS....had a 'sighting' of the two walking away from the school together...they were far but not far enough to not notice each other.....

I obviously felt quite uneasy at seeing them walking away side by side....

...but now I wonder....I am in PLAN B....so no contact with WS....how would OW feel seeing me picking up my boy?....could she have been wondering what WS might be thinking or feeling about seeing me with son? .....hummmm.....would not have wanted to be in her shoes....now that I think about it!

When WS is cake-eating... it's quite hurtful for BS to know that OW is probably on WS's mind quite a bit....now that WS has 'chosen' OW and BS has 'chosen' PLAN B.....I guess it's the other way around....OW must know that at times WS must he thinking of what he 'threw away' to be with her....and does she measure up? Will she need reassurance from WS that he doesn't 'regret' leaving his family.....knowing deep down that maybe sometimes he does?...will she believe him knowing that he capable of 'lying' through his teeth? ..and why is he choosing not to live with her for now...yet chose to committ to mariage and children with me? ...why is he not asking for a D?

...I really really don't think I would want to be in her shoes..it must be stressful at times to be the OW!

..I on the other hand....after that moment of uneasiness... went home and enjoyed the company of my two lovely boys and DS15's girlfriend...watched a movie together..... and had a 'pleasant evening'.....

...and I find these 'images' more empowering than to think that WS maybe having the time of his life...thanks to you!
Hope you get better soon...

What really helps me for sinus infection is
- hot water in pot
- add salt or eucalyptus etc.
- hang head over steaming pot
- towel over head to trap heat
breath deep...
that's really what helps me best.
It's been years now but I vividly remember the feeling <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Btw, here's your cuppa my dear !
___
\_/°

(((Cinderella)))
(I get to hug you girls and not risk infection.. one of the perks of cyberspace <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

I guess I don't see the BS's power, peachy.

They can go through all sorts of mind-spinning, but it doesn't give me the power to pay just one of my electric bills.

But say ... that's an idea ... might there be a way to hook up all the drama to something that produces power ... and solve the energy crisis across the nation!

Peachy,For that sore throat try 800mg ibuprofen. Make sure you have some food or milk on your stomach. It always works for me.

Hope you fell better soon.

Peachy...

I continually look for your posts. Your poise is an inspiration and I hope that this finds you feeling better...

My H is currently the assistant coach of my DS10's football team. XMOW (has a NC OC by my H 1 1/2 year old who runs around everywhere) has a 9 year old son on the SAME TEAM. I was told it was a draft.

I have made it through 4 weeks of practice without so much as a peep from me. I think I have H worried..lol

I did have to miss the first game last weekend due to a previous work committment out of town. I won't miss anymore, but I shall admit that I am nervous about this saturday.

I am a more demure, kind type..MOW is quite like your OW. Due to her dress normally, my neighbor asked when our team got a "hooker" for it's mascot.

I want to come out "on top".. not necessarily a winner at anything..but I want to handle this the best that I possibly can. It is important for me - to me - that I have the respect of others.

I do hope that you feel better.

Eibrab

Peachy, I have the oddest sensation when reading your posts that you still perceive yourself to be a BS. Reality is that you are a single woman and your ex is a MARRIED man. In the eyes of the law, your personal opinion of his marriage means nothing. If you truly do believe that you are on moral high ground here, you would not play little games with these people. It demeans you as a woman/person more than anything else, not to mention being dangerous territory.

Your behavior in my opinion is very OW-like…the preparation, the micro analyzing of his every action, every word, doing things just for effect….it is as if you are obsessed with him even though it is and should be over. What is it that you really hope to accomplish by being around, dolling yourself up and trying to freak his wife out?

If you hope that he will see what he missed out on, you just may have a chance b/c he is what he is . This could SO easily blow up in your face big time and then what? I'd really hate to see that happen to you.

If you want nothing more than to stir up trouble perhaps you should consider taking up a different hobby. Some IC wouldn’t be a bad idea either to work out the difficult process of LETTING GO.

You were the unwitting OW to his first wife, correct? What if she had done to you what you are plotting here? There is something about a man who can get women to compete for him, I get that…but that *something* is NOT a good thing. You personally deserve better and better isn’t going to be discernable to you until you get a grip on the way things really are.

He is a MARRIED man and NOT TO YOU, BY CHOICE! You are a SINGLE woman and life is a parade of men as Weaver says. That is your reality.

The way I see it, you need to sort out and make peace with your own truth. The only way to do that is to discard the lies and only you know what those are. Accepting the end of important relationships is hard but it gets harder when we feed into wishful thinking. I get the sense that you still have a lot of wishful thinking? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's only rage, a combo of both? I don't know.

Perhaps, you could consider these things Peachy and in the process realize that you can let your ex and his new wife go so YOU can really live YOUR life. Be happy! The future can be bright but it rarely is when we live in the past, kwim? KB

Dear Knew Better....I do not recognize an affair marriage and my life is NOT a parade of men...get that straight darn it! Wish it were that exciting trust me! I thank you for your words...well some of them...but I am not gonna ever validate an affair marriage. Period. So end of that. I will NOT change...not gonna sorry. I think your choice of words were...well out of line. I was NOT AN OW...never was and I find your words very very incorrect. You write as if you know me? I don't think we know each other at all really.. I know my truth and those who know me well here know it to be truth as well. I did not ask for your pop analysis of this...and if anybody knows my life? I did NOT undermine nor do anything to his prior marriage. I am who I am...like it or not. And I accept advice I feel is relevant...and ABOUT ME...your post? Well...not really about who I am. Sorry...I am NOT taking anything you said to heart...as it's not what I know to be accurate. No further discussions with you on this. Over.

I am sorry...I don't care for people who KNOWINGLY BREAK UP FAMILIES as was done to myself and my son and my former H. And I make no bones about that. I don't cushion my feelings for them and I think it's about darn time that BS stood up for themselves! Too many times here BS just are too timid...time for the BS to be in control...they have MORE power than they truly are aware of!

Now...back to other stuff...

Eibrab...thanks for your words...yea it seems our children's teams have both team hookers for mascots...except my xh's wistress doesn't come to many of the games if I am to be there. She still doesn't like it when people ask her unnerving questions...

Marflow..trying it tonight! Last night could barely sleep. It was sooo raw...plus we have had late evening thundershowers...even if I wasn't awake, it would've woken me up..I am trying the 800 mg. ibuprofen tonight <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Thank you for the suggestion. I am downing chloraseptic soo much I should buy stock in the company now!

Am...AM Martin...Honey you are hilarious! Your writing ability always amazes me and makes me smile. Love ya lots.

Brownhair...gonna try it! I sure will. I absolutely love the suggestions. I am such a lightweight when it comes to medications...like cough syrup w/codeine or benadryl..knocks me into the dirt. so a lesser type med is good for me...but lately the throat has hurt soooo badly that I couldn't even respond to the cough syrup ...a cyberhug is SOOO MUCH MORE infection control friendly ...hugs to you! And I sure hope one day we get to have that proverbial cup together...met some very fine folks here and love them to pieces!

Luna...and friends here...you can get my email from hurting in oklahome or orchid...as I'd love to talk to you privately about some of this...away from some prying eyes.

Cindy oh Cindy...hugs to you...and 2 think you did a wedding reception? You are one tough barefoot tennessean! I love ya. Sinus infections are NOT fun...oh well...misery loves company...and it's better if the company is good <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The wedding isn't till Saturday. There is time to get well. Need to steam my head. I did take all my medicine. YUCK! Stayed home from work today. Slept biggest part of day. Took my antibiotics, claritin, zinc, C, lexapro, guafinesin, I think I took a tylenol pm. Will find my albuterol inhaler. May need that to get the lungs over it.

The cough I get is as bad as the head cruds. Got chiropractor to drain sinuses - or try to - today. They should teach that to every doctor of any kind who is going to deal w/ sinusy people. Even nurses. Heavens, they should teach parents how to do it.

JP, What you said to KnewBetter isn't entirely fair, although I think she misunderstood something when she made the remark about you having been an OW.

Others have made the same sorts of observations -- you do tend to plug into the drama. I think she meant well, and you shouldn't blow her away.

JP, at the risk of being flamed as well I have to agree with KB. You are actually giving the OW COMPLETE control, even to her governing how you'll dress to make her feel uncomfortable.

KB didn't mean you had a string of men, she meant that Weaver sees her single life as there being lots of suitable men out there.

What outcome do you want JP? Do you want your XH back? Do you want to break up their marriage? Whether you recognise A marriages or not, it's still a legal marriage and you are legally divorced. If you do break up their relationship and your XH doesn't come back, what will you do then? Are you going to be a BS forever or are you going to have the best revenge of all, living your life well and how YOU want it.

My 2 cents on this..

When people deeply hurt us we feel they take our power away..
and we feel helpless.
We want our power back.

But the real trick it was never gone.
It was always there.
We BELIEVED it was taking from us, and acted upon that.

JP, you certainly never lost your "mojo".
Dress up and feel good about yourself - always.
Not because of anyone else - just for yourself.
You'll soon find your power does not need to be restored to you - you don't need to get it back - it was always there.

A.M


This has been discussed before, and I would really like to understand why this situation is any different. Can I ask you why you feel that she misunderstood the situation in the quote. Was Darth married when Peachy began dating him? Y E S!

So what is a woman who dates a married man other than OW. When she found out she could have corrected her mistake by ending the relationship and not getting into an affair marriage that she so despises.

Bottom line is when a MARRIED MAN dates it is an AFFAIR in my book.

JP,



Actually...here's an email address to which you can write me: mblunamare@yahoo.ca

Posted by peachy on 8/31/02



I did not know about this. I have a very sick feeling in my stomach right now. I don't think this place is what I thought it was and I don't feel I can learn anything here anymore. On the forums that is. Dr. Harley has great concepts and I think I'm going to stick with that and leave the rest alone.
Good luck to everyone here and I mean that sincerely.