Update of my situation>>>

WW calls me Friday and states that she is scared of losing our daughter, and that she will be unable to combat me in court over this. I advised her that I am looking out for our child. She stated that she hardly knew me anymore, and I told her I felt the same of her. Long story short, she let me have my daughter finally (for the weekend). It was wonderful until it was time to take her home. My daughter started talking about not coming back anymore (her mommy told her), and how she had to give back her toys for she wouldn't be there anymore. There is alot more but no need to get into all of that right now.

Well we will know the decision soon, I will keep you updated

But please keep the encouragement going , it really helps me.

Thanks

I am glad that you got to see your daughter..I know how this feels as I was able to see my step daughter (daughter to me since 1 yr old) this past weekend for the first time in almost 5 weeks (since the court's decision awarding me full custody of our 19 mo. old son). It was unbelievable to here her say Daddy again and to hold her and love her and let her know that things are going to be okay.

You tell your daughter that Daddy is going to stand up for her and make sure that she is safe and that you are going to be her daddy even if mommy has decided to try and replace you. That you will not allow this to happen. Your STBXW is finally feeling some of the ramifications of her choices "scared of losing our daughter". She should be scared. How about instead of being scared she makes better decisions about you and your M and your daughter. No, she is in it for her and OM and to heck with anyone who gets in her way. Please advise as to the decision date and I will pray for you. Stay strong, determined and above all else keep your daughter at the forefront of any decsion making.

God Bless.

Its Thursday morning - the decision date that is.

I understand you completely - it felt so good to love my daughter and be able to talk to her again. No one to interfere or end the talks... I miss my step children.

She made a big mistake and you are right she isn't thinking about about the M.

I just found out about things I thought were true... she had phone sex with other men a few months ago that she met online...

lovely

NEED PRAYERS EVERYONE!!!

Tomorrow is my chance to see a judge on the matter. My chance to get my daughter back to where she is safe.
Though my WW is doing me so wrong, I still love her with all my heart... and I feel wrong for it in some ways, though I know I will always love a part of her. The part of her that seemed real to me, the part she wanted me to see. Not the illusions of a reality that seems to have never been. I feel like she tried to drown the man who taught her to swim. (And yes thats from me).

Anyways, I have to do whats right... and I know what I am doing is the only way I can protect my daughter from all this harm. Emotionally, I know it has already hurt her... and it will take a while to heal it. But her daddy is man enough to do it... and I won't let the devil bring my daughter down to this level, nor me.

So please send your prayers, I know you guys feel my pain... and understand what it is I am facing. I am nervous about it all, for I never wanted things to come to this. But knowing what I know now, and realizing the influence she is showing my daughter... There is no doubt that its in her best interest to be with me.

Hey LiF you and your daughter are in my prayers. Please update us when you have the chance regarding today's hearing. I pray the judge is able to see that your WW is unstable and cannot be trusted to raise your daughter. If you win this temporary custody hearing then your chances of winning the final hearing are greatly increased. Of course if you don't get everything you want in a temp hearing it doesn't mean that you will not get it all in a full court hearing (this was my case). Let us know and God bless and be strong!

Hey HOPE

I was granted Primary Temp Custody... she was granted restricted visitation based on her not having him around that residence (in order for overnights).

I can't remove her from her school (daycare) - which is conflicting since W works there. but for stability the judge granted them that. She did have representation at the hearing, but LIMITED (which means he wasn't retained fully).

I am satified with the ruling, but I know its not anywhere close to being over... I will be a moving target now.

I will update from here out... we have to see about getting this going, I get her this afternoon.

Praise God!!!!!

Okay, this is great but not the end. Suggestions, continue to log every day. Develop a parenting plan showing stability in your child's life (goes to school, comes home, eats at this time, plays, bed time, etc). Take photos or have someone take photos of you and daugter out doing things together and have them printed and put in a photo album and labeled (i.e. - "day at the park", "the zoo", etc). Go online and take an online parenting class, print the coursework and take the test then put all of this including the certification into a binder. Don't expect your WW to like this one bit or adhere to the court order regarding OM (she may she may not). If she doesn't then document (witnesses, photos, PI, etc) and use against her in court. Use the fact that she is exposing Step Children to OM and his record of bad behavior against her in court. Use the OM and his checkered past against her in court. How are the step children doing in school, has any of this craziness affected them, their grades, behavior, etc. Also, assuming you have a good relationship w/ the step children I would ask my attorney about getting visitation or at least forcing that issue under oath on the stand with WW (there is something in our state called en locos parentis, meaning "in place of a parent")

Stay on the straight and narrow. Get into church and Sunday School if you aren't already. Make Wednesday night services more than not. Take the child and yourself around friends so that they all see what kind of parenting skills you have and can serve as witnesses in the future if need be. Know the child's doctor's, teacher's, caregivers, babysitters, etc on a first name basis. Take charge of your daughter and only involve your WW as absolutely required or she will try and use "that you need her" in court. Develop a good support network to help with the children such as family, church friends, others.

I am fired up for you and that you have taken a big step in protecting your daughter from your WW (not your wife, remember this because she will try and lay guilt on you at some point "about taking my baby away from me, etc"). She is not your W she is a WW and that is not a good thing for you or your daughter.

Hey Sorry I havent gotten on in a while... I have good news and major updates!!!

Well first off, as you know I got Temp Custody... it took a few days before I heard from her mother. But when I did it was a good talk. I let her spend a few hours with her on Oct 11th - she ended up going to church with her sibblings.
I had gotten my teeth fixed that day and she took notice when we did the transfer...
The next day to my surprise, everything changed... she called me telling me how proud she was of me. i was like thanks, for what? She said she was proud of how I was taking care of myself. So I said thanks and we got off the phone... She calls back playing our song from our wedding... I was like OH MY!!! After a minute of the song I hung up... She calls back askin why i hung up? I simply told her that I listened for a minute and figured that was it. So told me that she was still my best friend - I was in shock and said OK. We got off the phone... Well she called again at lunch and we had a long conversation. We talked about everything to an extent... what she should do, if there was any hope for us, could she come back??? I told her that I wouldn't allow her to just come home. She needed to get help which she had already agreed with me on. So she is seeing a councelor and has since agreed to go to marriage counceling... I made her no promises. Cause I honestly do not know how she could do what she did. I know it was a fog, but I have to know its over and not gonna happen again.
This thing is expensive... I'm already over 7,000 in debt in fees and we are just getting started. She is 1,300 in debt to people she borrowed from just to get as far as she got.

Its crazy... so far in a the few interactions we have had together its been nice. She calls me and tells me she loves me and misses me, when we see each other you can tell she is humbled and sincere.

But I'm still on guard... I have to be for my daughter. It would be great if things work out. But on the same side, she has to give up seeing her other kids as much to do this...so I know thats got to be hard.
I need to be happy, and she knows I wont accept anything less.

Keep the prayers guys... thanks!!!

LIF

This COULD be good! I hope and pray so!

BUT, please be careful not to get sucked into something that is not sincere and is only being used to manipulate you. Err on the side of caution, go slow, really slow. Pay close attention to her ACTIONS not her words! Words are cheap. In any case she has a lot to prove, a lot of changes to make and they have to be proven over the long haul not for a few weeks or months in order to know they have taken hold.

My questions:
1. Has she ended the A?
2. Is there NC whatsoever?
3. Has she sent a NC letter (that you review)?
4. Will she go to IC and later MC?
5. Will she read the Harley's books on affairs?
6. Will she counsel with Steve or Jennifer?
7. Is she making your daugter and her best interests a priority when with her?
8. Is there remorse or repentance that's sincere?
9. Is she willing to apologize in writing to all those she has hurt
10. Is she in church, Sunday school?


There are a lot more but you get the idea. Lastly, please be careful not to have sex with her until you are sure that you both are committed to the M and recovery. She will use that against you in court saying that you have forgiven her adultery and such. Also, read Mortarman's thread about his wife changing temporarily, coming home, pretending to become a caring mother and reformed wife only to take him back to court (he had full temp. custody I believe at the time)to get more time with the children and she did although he by far came out on top. She did however use her wiles, lies and deceit against him.

Just be very careful. Find people with good judgment that you can talk to and can provide discernment for you.

I really pray that this is the beginning of an effort at restoring your M and I will be praying as such, but do be very careful.

Well she is no longer around the ex husband... and says that they never actually got back together - though attempts were made on all sides (him, her and ex mother in law) - She is admitting her mistakes on several occassions and how she wont make those mistakes again... that she wants this marriage to work and has faith that it will.
She has shown signs of affection that she hasnt shown in man many months... and seems more like the girl I originally met than she ever has been.
She wont be around ehr ex unless I am there... hard to stop completely when they have children together, however neither has full custody. So she knows that her and him hanging out or talking will not fly with me... if she does its over.
She knows where I stand, that this is a trial here... if it doesnt change than its over. I'm not canceling the divorce, just stalling it.
She has already started talking to a IC, and we are planning on going to MC. Two people working together that love each other... she knows I am concerned for our daughter and that i don't want her coming back just to leave again.
The main thing she needs to know and I have said, is that I no longer need her... I always felt that I did, but realize now that I dont need anyone. But I love her and would love things to work out, it be better for all of us if it did.

The only thing missing here now is her... and she will be back this next coming weekend.

I love her and I know my daughter misses her... if we can find happiness together than this is a good thing...if not we need to move on.

Thanks for the prayers - please continue them
I pray for you as well!!!