I recently discovered that my husband has been smoking pot again. Yes, stupid me married him even though I knew he had a problem with it in the past he told me he changed. I made a horrible decision, I know.

When I confronted him he tried to minimize it and said that I was being too conservative and that he was just doing it for fun. At this point, I feel like he lied to me several times as he has told me he doesn't smoke pot anymore and now after me finding his pot pipe he finally fesses up.

I feel like my world has crashed down. I feel like I need to move out of the house as I don't even want to see his lying face.

Anyone else been through this?

jbsdoll:

I don't know if you have ready my posting yet, but I have not been a perfect husband to my wife. Certain things like saying very harsh things and the "little lies" I would say have built up and she just got sick and tired of it. Last week she said she wanted a "trial separation." Let me tell you that being separated HURTS. Your husband is your husband, which means his pot problem is your problem. Don't just ask him to stop, because most likely, he wont. He might agree with you and stop for a little while, but he'll pick up again unless if you do something very drastic to let him know that you're not kidding. I don't know how bad you feel inside, but express that to him in a way that he'll understand. Maybe arrange couseling for his habbit, or write him a letter basically saying "me or weed!"

Maybe you can help me out too. Can you read my post (the one below yours) and tell me what you think my wife is thinking right now, and maybe what I should do. I need a woman's perspective.

Thanks. Best of luck..... and pray, pray, pray..... someone will answer you.

Jbsdoll, I am actually going through the same thing right now. It is why I joined the site, because there are certain things tearing our relationship appart and that is one of them.
Here's my situation:
Much like you, my husband is a marijuana user. He has used it for a while now. We've been going out for 6 years, but I though maybe it was just a college thing and he would stop once in the real world. I started to be less and less comforable with it. I married him because i love him, not his pot addiction. He smokes right after work every day. I don't even feel like I can tell my mother (who I tell everything) because I don't want her to hate him. I can't even explain exactly what makes me dislike the idea of people smoking the drug, but here are my main reasons:

- We are just starting out and don't have a lot of money, and it is expensive
- I believe we should enjoy life in a more natural state of mind (without being impaired)
- My family never abused the substance, and I don't feel comfortable doing this in my adult life. I also believe my family would reject my husband if they knew.
- I own my own business, which is connected to our apartment. I don't want my customers to smell it or find out he uses the substance. Or worst, I don't want them to think I abuse it.

Am I wrong? Is this drug now so commenly used that I should accept it? He says that he will not stop, and I either accept it or leave him.
I don't know if it helps hearing that I have a similar problem. I'd trade with you in a second though. To be honest, I would rather have him rarely doing it and not telling me about it then parading his drug use around in front of my face.