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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
For those of you who don't know me I was here in Jan 2005.My husband had a 6 month EA while stationed over in Afghanistan.He also confessed to 2 ONS before that.
The reason I'm here today is he is at it again.He met this girl online and dated her for almost a month.It is a different OW and she didn't know he was married.
When I answered his phone on Tuesday I found out about this.He told me they had met once and she had oral sex with him.I didn't believe him because the next day I looked at the phone records and relized he had been calling her since the 11th.He denied of course so I figured I would let it go.Well of course something in me couldn't let it go so I called her.I found out they did have sex,like 4 or 5 times,and that she met his Dad when he was here.He took her to dinner and off roading.All kinds of things.
Anyway I'm not sure where to go now.When he first confessed he really did seem to want this to work.He cryed and said how sorry he was and that it was all his fault.He never owned up to his actions last time,we kinda swept it under the rug.He said he would do whatever it takes to save this marriage.We have a 3 year old daughter together.He said a day later he relized just how many people he hurt including the OW.
My question now is can this work?I can't comfront him till 11 since he is at the range and it's only 3 here.I'm going crazy!The OW no longer wants anything to do with him but am I being realistic to believe that he won't do this again?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I being realistic to believe that he won't do this again? in order for a thought to be "realistic" it must be suported by facts/events/trends/etc if you were to state 2 or 3 facts that support believing he would not do this again ~~~> what would those facts be ?Pep
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
Pep,
Thank you for replying.I guess I'm not too sure on facts but he has agreed to go to MC and to IC.He has agreed to stop going out unless I can go with him.He said he would do whatever I wanted but I wanted the truth which I had to get from OW.He assured me whatever it takes he will be here to make a go at this again.Is that enough?The main reason I don't leave is my daughter.I want this to work.We have been together since we were 16 so I have a lot invested in this too,not just the baby.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
use reliable birthcontrol
don't bring another child into this until you are certain your husband has decided he is married
OK?
Pep
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
he has agreed to go to MC and to IC and has he called to make these appointments himself? just "saying" something does not count for squat! Pep
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
Sorry I wasn't clear.We aren't trying to have another baby just yet,we call the 3 year old the baby.We were thinking of trying once she was 5 but that's a little over a year from now.Not too sure now anyway.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
Sorry I posted the same time as you.He has been very busy at work(he is in the army so he has no choice)but he did suggest we go to church Sunday and speak with the pastor.As far as the MC and IC it will have to wait till the end of the month he will be away starting Monday from Monday thur Saturday in the field,this will go on for two weeks.I have verified this also with his Sgt.I was thinking of just setting up the appointments myself and letting him know when.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I am suggesting that you wait to get pregnant until your husband DOES ~~ on a REGULAR basis ,and without your nagging ~~ the things a loving/remorseful husband ought to be doing to make his wife safe and protected from further adultery
do not take his word he is going to treat you right ... watch what he does and not what he says
I hope I am clear this time
you seem pretty young
how old are you?
Pep
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
I'm not going to have another baby,not even sure if we want one even before this happened.I am 29 and my husband 30.We had talked but were waiting to adress the subject till she was 5 since we didn't know where we stand on it.I do take reliable BC not for that reason but because unless I decide to have another baby it is mandatory for my health.I have a hormone imbalance.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 57 |
Yeah how did you know?I have had it since I was 12 they just recently dianosed it.I'm luckly though the BC pills take care of it.I don't have any problems from it.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I'm an RNP & I see PCOS all the time... just a lucky guess <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Pep
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