Orchid,
I was interested in reading the basics about your situation: the length of the affair, the time of discovery, attempts to reconcile, successes and failures with your plan of action, etc.
And, of course, how you have dealt with the problems of divorce when children are involved.
Hiker,
Ok, here's the skinny:
1. No D. Got close but no D.
2. d/d Nov 2000
3. A lasted from Aug 2000 - Aug 2003.
4. False recoveries: At least 7.
5. POA (plan of action): Plan A and B. Plan A the WS until 1st Saturday in March 2001. It stopped at about 7:21am. Plan B went into effect that week (I think).
6. Failure:
A. Plan A a WS too long. Should have gone to plan B after 1 month. But I was still in shock and my mind and heart didn't sync up until that Saturday morning in March 2001 (thank-you George Clooney). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
B. Didn't contact OW's H. Thought he was into something weird like drugs or something. He was elusive and I believed the babble.
C. Tried to reason with the OW. Boy was I dumb. I thought she was human. Found out her vocabulary was worse than a drunken sailor and her mind was not of this world. Still isn't.
D. Should have filed an RO against her after she threatened to have me fired.
E. Should have contested her false RO charges in court and talked about how she wasn't the victim if she was sending nude pictures of her body parts over the internet an advertising on Adult Friend Finders.com.
F. Should have exposed her to her family. Her mother was quite elderly and I felt bad if she got ill over her daughter's infidelity exposure.
Successes:
A. Survived the A.
B. Found closure
C. Got my mind and heart in sync
D. Learned how to successfully use RB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
E. Let H earn his way back to our family and into our hearts.
F. Helped some learn to survive.
G. Gave back a bit of the help given to me.
H. Became a better person.
I. Can id a WS and OP closer than 30 paces.
J. Sucessfuly served to RO paperwork to a WS and a stupid neighbor (my co-worker's neighbor).
Guess there's more but is that enough? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
L.