My H just emailed me that he will be taking a business trip to LA next week. I found out earlier this week but waited for him to tell me. CA is where the other woman was. So not only is that trigger me, but now he will be traveling with a young (23) lady to guide her along for this project. I have issued my concerns previously about him and this girl because he seemed to have a weekness in the last two times with 23 year olds (1 affair, 1 online EA) which may be why the delay of telling me.

my head is spinning and i no longer know what to do or can think straight on this situation. I cannot go with, he cannot get out of it, i am not really sure if there is anything he can do or say to alieviate my concerns. I feel numb, pain, rage and revenge all at the same time. i am not even sure how to approach this at all.

I am also angry that he told me this in an email today, when he is at a very important meeting and is not here to discuss this with me. So its lay the news on me and leave me to deal with this by myself...

God, what should i do?

Sounds to me like he needs to change jobs. Otherwise you will always have this stuff to deal with. He has already proven that he does not deal well with temptation.

Believer
what job out there won't have women...i wish it were that simple. He's been unemployed for several months, thus we are so strapped for cash, he just got this job. What should I do? I dont know how to react anymore...it always seems to be the wrong way (love busting, guilt) how do I go about this what do i say to him when he get home.

do i act like its okay, while i am dying inside
do i tell him not to go and have him lose the job
do i yell, scream and cry
like i said i am not even sure what he could do to make me feel better about this...

i am so lost.

I don't have the answers. But a man who has had problems before should not be traveling with a 23 year old woman.

I really think that the workplace needs to do some serious reforming - too many require traveling alone to other cities, staying the night in a hotel, wining and dining, etc. It is a recipe for disaster.

Is there any work he could do that doesn't require traveling?

Can you go with him, make it a mini vacation??

Since it seems your early in recovery you need to take some very strict steps. There is no trust now no matter who he is traveling with. He needs to understand that and give you the latitude to build that trust again

nope, kids in school and no money. I don't know if we have ever been in recovery...