I have a question to ask of you. What route could I take to assign temporary guardianship of my children to my parents? If my wife isnt too keen on the issue, what can I do to at a bare minimum to keep her from leaving the state with them? Also is there a way that I can get custody of them. She currently has custody, but there isnt anything in the court system backing it up.

Your advice is greatly appriciated. Thank you in advance.

Kustom

Kustom

What state are you in?

In my state (Washington) filing for Legal Separation was enough to have a temporary restraining order filed that prevents either one of us from selling anything (in case my WH had a really cool car or something that I wanted to sell cheap as revenge) getting debts in the other's name, changing addresses without informing each other or the court, and leaving the state. It's automatic when the LSA is filed in my state.

It did make me wonder what people did in the past during a legal separation that made this an
automatic part of the filing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I was able to find some basic info about LSA by typing Legal Separation+ Wa state in Google. I had a lawyer do the paperwork and found my lawyer by asking for referrals from a lawyer at my church who I trusted. He isn't a divorce lawyer, but he recommended two who would respect my values and look out for my interests.

Others here at MB with a legal background may be able to give you better guidance but it might be a place to start.

Hang in there.

Got a rare headache so I'll be brief.

A lot depends on your state. I'm not a divorce attorney so I know nothing definitively. Generally, without any court orders you both have equal rights to custody of the children; however, before you go taking them back and in essence kidnapping them from each other I think you should request (in writing for documentation purposes) at least equal custody of the children. If she refuses then you'll have to file for something (LSA/Divorce or whatever) and request a temporary custody hearing.

As a man, YOU are behind the eight ball. You've already voluntarily allowed her to presume custody of the kids which makes your argument even weaker. Get with an attorney NOW to insure your rights. The longer you wait playing a game HOPING that she'll just come back places the odds of you winning further in jeopardy. Yes, MB principles work but you can't trust them to the peril of your financial and custodial rights. Of course, if she shares custody willingly then you can do the plan(s) but you can't just trust her. Protect yourself first then do the plans AS the court system does it's job.

I don't think you can assign temp or permanent custody to your parents. Your wife would have to agree and that ain't gonna happen.

Once you file she can't leave the state with the kids though be careful...I have a high school friend that was living in Michigan with his wife and 2 kids...wife went to visit family in Illinois and secretly got an Illinois drivers license then waited the required 6 months and filed for divorce. It was completely bogus but the lower court allowed it...he could have appealled but by then he just gave in and settled.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - you can do some research on the internet about your state and the state your wife would potentially be taking the kids to....but getting with your experienced divorce lawyer is the best thing you can do. Do it soon.

Reconsidered a bit after a brief review of your thread.

As a BiPolar with a criminal record (what I don't know) you may have a difficult time winning much of any custody. Perhaps you can win some. At the very least supervised visitation (with your parents providing such supervision potentially).

It's perhaps likely you also lack the resources to obtain adequate legal counsel. I wish I could provide you with precise advice...but, alas, I can not.

I would try to get your WW to agree to allow you visitation via your parents. Try to set an agreable precedent for any potential custody claim but getting her to agree to such voluntarily up front. Perhaps request a weekend with the kids at your parents house or just a day. Keep doing this until you can save up enough money to pursue more. Even if she turns you down...keep documenting your efforts.

Get a grip on any and all anger. You'll NEVER achieve anything with the courts if you can't demonstrate consistent control of your hostility. The courts will never trust you. Remember, even if you lose, keep documenting and trying. The kids will get older and there will be more opportunities for you to try again. With time, consistency and calmness you can prevail.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

p.s.- If your WW is completely unfit and protective services moves to remove the children from her...then your parents may be a viable alternative.

p.s. - As a bi-polar continued and consistent Physician monitoring and medication is another very important thing to demonstrate to the courts...now, and forever after.

To awnser the state question, I live in Montana. I dont want to have our children placed in protective services because it will add more fuel to the fire in our relationship. She has told me that I can see the kids when I want, its the court that has made me submit a visitation schedule. The courts dont know about my bi-polar condition. I hope to keep it that way, unless my wife opens her mouth...I dont think I should even tell her at this point.

Kustom

Kustom,

The courts in any state are required by law to do "what is in the best interest of the children".

I have read your posts. Everything that has happened up until this point barely gives you a leg to stand on. I would be suprised if you got anything more then supervised visitation of your children. The supervision might have to be with a person wit child welfare for a while.

Move away at that point you would probably lose. In a move away situation there are a few factors that are considered.

Most importantly can the non custodial parent still see their children the same percentage. So for instance if you got 40 days a year could you techinically still do that?

There is also the reason for the move. As long as she is not doing it to deprive you then they will probably let her go.

Next on to you trying to remove the kids from her to your parents. Very long shot unless she has the same record as you have.

Quite honestly with what has happened the courts will not believe much of what you say about the W. If there are no arrests or complaints against her you are at her mercy.

Your right, but I am going to try to do the best I can. I dont belive that she is going to move, but I just dont know. Right now all I can do is wait and see.

Kustom