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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4 |
Hi Everybody! I'm new here! My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have five children. I'm a stay at home mother and have very little time to work-out and keep myself in shape. My husband work-out everyday at his job and I have been steadily gaining weight. This August my husband and I agreed that I could take skate lessons and skate at a session as my form of work-out. Since skating I have lost all extra weight and have had more energy to give to my husband and children. Skating is strictly for working out and staying in shape for him. So how could this be a threat to my marriage? Shouldn't couples have times for themselves alone? This seems completely healthy to spend quality time together and to also have time alone. Just wanted to get your thoughts. KittyJack35 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982 |
could you give a little more information? Is your H saying that he wants you to stop skating? Is there a problem with skating in someones mind? Is that why you are asking?
Lake
Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4 |
Hi Lake53, Thanks for reading my question. When I was reading the section on this website about spouses being each others recreational partners I was just wondering did they mean to never have any activities without our spouse or if their were exceptions? My husband is completely supportive of my skating. We also come together and play tennis and board games quite often. But we workout on different time because it's hard to find babysitters. So when we get babysitters it's usally when we go on a date. Kittyjack35 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2 |
Keep skating...it sounds like it's doing you some good(physically & mentally). It's good to do stuff together, but you have needs, too, and sometimes being "joined at the hip" is not good for a relationship, either. You have something to talk about he doesn't know everything about!!!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058 |
KJ35,
There is nothing wrong with recreational time alone, provided:
You don't have a "skating coach" (or any other "friend")that you share intimate details of your life with.
You don't use skating as a way to avoid dealing with issues in your marriage that should be addressed.
You don't feel that you are "entitled" to your time skating, in spite of what anyone else may feel.
Your husband is not supportive, or wants you to stop, for whatever reason.
You go skating instead of taking care of the kids/house/family
You don't feel that time together should come from your husband's time alone doing what he likes to do.
JMO
Mark
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4 |
Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post. Your thoughts have helped. I will continue to skate as long as my husband continues to support me in this area, but at any time I get different vibes from him I will change activity quickly. Kittyjack35 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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