I would also pay the kid and his mother a visit as well. Go over there with a friend if you need one to keep from going at him (and make it a large friend for intimidation purposes).

LOL!!

Clothes on the front lawn and driveway send a STRONG statement not only to her, but the whole neighborhood! She will be mad but embarassed. I'd go with that. You show her she can't hide from you or the A anymore.

also, somehow, the 23YO needs to have a CTJ meeting and piss his pants with fear.

I'll go with you - you near Milwaukee???

I do understand that moving out seems like giving up but I know reality would kick her rear soon. The bills will bury her and she would miss me cleaning and taking care of kids. All the stuff I improved in Plan A.

As far as the A. She knows I do not approve of this. I have enforced a few boundaries in the 6 months. She used to take his calls in front of me. When she did it after I asked her not to, I blew up. This is when she tried to get the restaining order. She no longer does this.

Isn't standing up and letting them hear me a LB. Is it not an angry outburst? I do let her know all the time the hurt she is causing and the risk she runs of loosing everything, but in plan A I learned to walk away when I got angry enough to LB.

Do I now go home and LB?

I do like the FU plan but would need to do it with out LBing. I try not to get to mad because when I do I shredd stuff. Usually something expensive.

I would need to be carful in the FU plan.

Just be calm and firm. You don't need to be angry. Tell her in a calm voice that she is not welcome in the marital home as long as she is having an affair, and that you and the children won't stand for it. Tell her she can resume her affair when the divorce is final, but not until that day, otherwise she is not welcome. You children will really respect you for taking a stand like that.

Plan FU is when you do get to LB. It has worked a few times that I recall reading about. It slaps the WS in the face and hard.

the BS has been so nice and good, nerver says a bad thing and then FU!!!! Get out!!!!! you SOB!!!! we are done!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


But not yet. Go with what Jim just gave you and add that there is no place in a M for 3 people.

M2L,

Is Kansas City near enough to Milwaukee?

too much snow for me.

Are you guys sure plan B can not be effective if the BS is the one to move?

I do want to return to the house. I don't like looking wishy-washy about what I am doing to WW or the kids. Talk about lost respect. I did tell them I was leaving.

Southwest has some good fares out of California!

Conveniently enough they both work at the Kansas City Airport.

Well it is almost time for me to get off work. I do not know where I may end up tonight. If I go home I have no comp as I took it to my mothers yesterday. So I maybe unavailable for comments.

Thanks for everyones input today. I have much to think about and sort through. As if the A and M and DV are not enough to constantly dwell on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Alrey:

You said somewhere before that you'd coached with Jennifer? If so, what does she advise you do? (or do I have you confused with someone else?).

Throwing her stuff out is illegal, but it could be very effective. Just be prepared 2 pay for anything that gets damaged, stolen, or whatever.

I think it was Fishwife who, some years back, was asked by her WH if she could give him his stuff (he'd moved in with the OW). She loaded it all up and delivered it - with a DUMP TRUCK - right on the OW's front lawn. Lots of things got broken in the process of being dumped in a pile like that, and she had 2 pay for it, but she claimed that it was worth it.

She and her WH recovered sometime later, if I remember correctly.

What happens if you don't go 2 plan B and just wait for the DV 2 be finalized? Who gets the house then? Can you buy it from her between now and then? Ask her 2 quit claim it over 2 you so all you have 2 do is continue 2 make the payments. Then MAKE them.

Or, put the house on the market so you both start over with places of your own without the "marital home" stigma 2 deal with. Make sure yours has adequate accommodations for your kids, of course.

-ol' 2long

I live in St. Charles, MO.

(((((((A2)))))))

Just wanted to check in on you. I understand that you are in a lot of pain and wanted to let you know that you have my full support no matter what you chose to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope that you had a peaceful night!

I just came back and read your thread.

YOu re getting some great advice here. I will just echo it-- get yourself back HOME. Worried about looking wishywashy? Just tell your kids you realized that you should stay home for THEM and not let someone who 'isn't thinking right' make all the decisions.

PLEASE-- go to the OM's house and SPEAK WITH HIS MOM face to face. Tell her about your children, ask her to help you end his adulterous affair because of the pain it is causing your babies. Whether she helps or not, she is definately going to say something to Junior. Either way, you have just rocked teh boat in his peaceful home and made someone uncomfortable there. Heck, I'd try to track down his father as well.

I hope today finds you at home with your children.

I moved out of my home for 4/5 days. My wife called me all the time about nothing really, she just wanted to talk. Well Sat morning I packed my things and went home. The kids were thrilled and I told my wife that I'm not staying at the other place anymore. I'm home for good and like always she can leave anytime. SHE NEVER DID.

Respect? she told me last month that she respected that I did this and it showed her that I was a man. DUH - what did she think I was while she was fogged out?

Alrey,

How are you?

Just checkin' on you Alrey. Hope you are doin OK!

Really concerned...hope that you check in soon!

Supporting you no matter what! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />