Hello, my MB friends! It has been ages and ages since I posted on here, and much has happened since the summer. Bear with me, this is going to be a very long post.

The divorce was final in June. I found out about it after I returned from PA where my mom was in intensive care for a blood infection. No one knows for sure how she got the infection, but it was awful... got her kidneys, liver and most unfortunately her heart. She seemed to be doing better while my bros and I were up there with her, but took a turn for the worse after we left. We left for home Thursday, and I found out Friday when we returned that the divorce was final. Mom passed away the next Monday during surgery to replace her aortic valve. She was only 48 years old. So now my bros and I are orphans, and my precious DD will never know her cool grandparents. I took some time off work to grieve at home with DD, and in July, DD and I went on a massive roadtrip. Drove to my home state for a funeral, then across the country to PA to go through Mom's things (and another service) then drove home. It took 2 weeks and about 2K miles. The bros didn't want to go to PA, but they did make it to the home state for the service. Going through her things was really, really difficult. It was my aunt and me. Mom's BF didn't help at all... he was hardly home.

When we returned, we put the house up for sale. It sold only three months later, for less than we were hoping, but hey, it's a buyer's market right now. With my realtor's help, I was able to find a nice townhouse, much nicer than I thought I'd be able to afford. It's in a great location, the bedrooms are huge, and it's got everything I wanted. Plus, in the three months since we've lived here, the seller has raised the price on the other units by more than $10K more than what I paid... hello, instant equity.

The XH and OW are still going strong. They got married a couple weeks ago. I had to drag it out of him in November that it was actually going to happen... I had to ask him about it b/c DD will be seeing him overnight starting in two weeks and I wanted to make sure everything was going to be kosher with the custody arrangement (no overnights with unmarried BF/GFs present). They didn't even invite DD to it, which I was relieved about. I struggled a lot with how I would feel if they said they watned her to participate in the celebration of the affair, ya know?

I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about the whole sitch. I know it's not a competition, but it really stinks that here he is, getting MARRIED when I haven't even had a date. I guess I'm a little jealous. They drove up after their honeymoon in a brand new huge SUV to pick DD up.

I'm just trying to put my life back together. The only resolution I made this year was to get over the divorce. I figure I can't fail, because it's got to happen eventually. I'm starting to get used to being alone. It's nice to be able to sit here in my house (that I own all by myself) and paint my toenails while watching trashy TV if I want to. Or to turn on the music and dance whenever. I don't have to answer to anyone. If I want to sit here and read all night, I can. As lonely as I feel, I'm not in a big rush to run out and get involved with anyone else. I know that as long as I have bad feelings about XH/OW, it wouldn't be fair to whoever I got involved with. But I am getting better.

I'm still with the bellydance troupe, and I'm getting even more involved at our church. I just got nominated to serve on a board there, which is pretty cool. Although we're skipping out today b/c DD is under the weather.

DD will be 2 next weekend, and then she'll start staying with XH/OW overnight every other weekend. I'm not looking forward to it.

So to sum it up, 2006 was an awful, awful year, and I'm looking forward to a happier 2007.

So good to hear from you again. I'm happy you bought a nice home, and it is all in your name. Hang on to that house, they always go up, up, up, and it will happen where you live too. In my area, houses used to be around $70,000. to $100,000. Now a very average home is $500,000.

Don't be jealous about your ex getting married. After all, he had a bit of a head start, since he was dating while married to you. Anyway, affair marriages never last. Besides that, he jumped into marriage too quickly, without working on his problems.

Glad your daughter is doing well and still seeing her father. Hopefully the two of you will be able to co-parent together well. Enjoy her, because they do grow up too fast.

Thanks, Believer. I've told myself the same thing about the marriage. I too hope XH and I can work together for DD's benefit.

Today was supposed to be his day with her. I called and told him how sick she is today, and he said that since he and OW already have plans to go to his parents (an hour away, not good for DD to be traveling), he offered to have her tomorrow so I don't have to take off work as she should probably stay out of daycare tomorrow. He's going to take her to the doc, too. Maybe this really will work. I can hope.

Hey Shimmy!!!!

I was thinking of you just yesterday, hoping for an update!

I agree, 2006 wasn't a good one. But it will get better!
I know it's gonna be hard when she goes for overnights. Mine come up in June. It's 18mos for us. The big boys have been going ever since he left, but Elliot goes in June. I kmow I am not ready yet. But remember this--she's God's little girl first, and He'll take care of her.

I hope you continue to just enjoy your free days and are not in any rush to date even. The best revenge is living well, not living married : ) It'll happen when it is supposed to.

Hope to hear back from you. We need to exchange e-mails sometime.

Hugs to you and DD. Hope she feels better soon. Are you giving her a big b-day bash? ( I remember when you posted about her turning one!)

Intexas

Thank you, intexas. I guess I need to take some time to read through all the threads to see how everyone else is doing. I'm only able to do this in bits and pieces with DD being sick.

I agree 100% about living well vs. living married. I'm in no big rush. I also agree with believer.... rushing into a relationship like XH and OW did without giving yourself a chance to work through your issues is a big no-no. I can only wonder what kind of karma will befall them. I just hope DD doesn't end up hurt by it.

Did you have a big party for DS3's first birthday? We're doing a Hello Kitty party next weekend. She picked the theme. It's so funny, hearing her talk about her "kitty cat cake" she's going to have!

It's so good to hear from you shimmy! Congrats on the house, I am working on my refi now. It will be weird when this is MY house. Your new year's resolution sounds like a good one. Take care of yourself!

Hey Shimmygrrrl

Good to hear from you, really pleased you have your own place, you can't go wrong with real estate.

I can't believe your XH has married already, it is too hasty and will be loaded with issues. Best thing to do is to keep right out of the way and let it takes it course.

Can't believe your DD is going to be 2 soon, she is growing up so fast. My little DD turns 3 in March and I don't know where the time has gone.

My situation is that XWBF and OW have broken up (back in Oct 06), XWBF has been hanging around a lot more lately, and I must say having OW out of the picture makes dealing with DD so much easier.

Just wanted to say Hi and well done, you are doing great.

NZGirl

Hi there, I see it has been quite some time since you have logged in- me too! We talked a looooooong time ago, and I just wanted to say that my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!!!

Hey Shimmy --
Just wanted to pop in & say hello - I hope things continue to get better & better for you & DD, I think if you guys even though I rarely log in anymore here.
So sorry to hear about your Mom. Even though I didn't think throwing all your WH's clothes in the driveway made for a good Plan A I admired her spunk and she obviously had your best interests at heart!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Things are well with us, we are still NC with FOW and OC, and we have our 15th wedding anniversary this week. As my pastor first said, "Divorce is hard after an affair, and staying together is hard after an affair, I'm sorry you are on this road" -- but it gets better over time, together or apart I think.

Just wanted to drop in & say hi!

MSA