Ok, so I haven't declared bankruptcy, nor am I even close to it. But what happens when someone does declare bankruptcy? Hmmmm....... It seems like a last-resort attempt to "wipe the slate clean."

Ok....so now you can relate that to getting a divorce. It is the last option to start fresh. When declaring bankruptcy your credit is ruined at least for several years and it will cause quite a few hardships. Now apply that same notion to a divorce - your life is in shambles (so it seems) and it will take a while to get over it...maybe months, maybe years, but it won't go away that easily.

Maybe this post is pointless, but this is what I have been going through lately (divorce) and it stinks. In the past few weeks, I have heard everything: "Don't worry, you'll meet someone later," "Keep your head up," "It's not your fault, it was the both of you contributing to the negative spiral," "You should be lucky you're still young and have no children"..... blah blah blah.....

The fact of the matter is I no longer have my wife, the woman I've been with for 6 years is now gone and I miss her soooooo much.

Ditto......It's an emotional bankruptcy for some (me included).

My D will probably be final in a few weeks. She can't touch or hurt mr financially, but the emotional side is horrible.

The most hurtful thing was when I was told by STBXW that she loves her new BF whom she has only known for less than 2 months. That hurt bad and has emotionally bankrupted me.

I have not even filed yet and I am feeling like my love tank can finally start to come back to the positive.

I think of it this way. Every time I would receive love from my friends or family it would be drained out on my husband just to survive the situation we were in. Now there is hope for a new future. He cannot make the withdrawls he was before. It is like I am no longer racking up credit card debt and finally have a budget lined out with a light at the end of the tunnel.

hangingtough....The kind of love your ex told you about her having for her BF is not the kind you can grow old together with. Sorry it hurt though. That stinks.

What really sucks is it seems to be only a 'one way' bankruptcy, at least in my sitch.

My ex left for another woman, said he wanted a divorce. After nine months of living with her, he still hadn't filed. Sick of my life, I filed. I did all the paperwork, made all the running.

We are divorced, but he has yet to file a complete financial declaration, so I am forced to take him to court.

He is living the life of Riley with his young girlfriend. Smoking, drinking, going out all the time. He is unlikely to end up giving me a generous settlement - that doesn't seem to happen often in the UK, even if the wife has stayed at home with the kids the whole marriage and is unable to get work because of disability. Any settlement will likely be eaten up with the fees I will incur by being to forced to take him to court.

So financially and emotionally (with his young girlfriend) my ex is far from the 'divorce bankruptcy' you describe. I am experiencing it to the full, however!

Divorce is a bitter pill. I just so want it to be over, so I can move on.

Alph.

Hate to admit it, but I've been through both.

First the BR: It happened when I was young, and it was huge blow to my ego. In retrospect I learned a hard lesson on sound business planning and measuring risk. I did vow never to put myself in such a precarious situation again. I learned.

Divorce: Broke my heart and emotionally devastated me. The emotional toll was much worse than the BR. Financially, I took a huge haircut, too. Learned another hard lesson here.

I consider the Divorce the more traumatic experience.

HL

I've been through both. Divorce is much worse. My bankruptcy would have been much easier if my wife had been there to support me through it.

I am definitely emotionally bankrupt and I'm only separated at this time. But the financial settlement is complete so the actual D will be a mere formality anyway. I got a good settlement, mostly because WH was in such a hurry to move in with OW that he accepted almost nothing - it was only 32 days from his initial request for the D to the papers being signed. I'm not just emotionally bankrupt, but I'm scarred for life. I would trade my settlement to have him back in an instant if it was a possibility.

Tabby,
Your situation is very fresh and very raw. Please take good care of yourself in this very rough time. There are a lot of resources to help you map out a recovery plan and get your bearings after this initial shock and grief period.

HL