I was going to post on the Divorce board, but figured I'd get more traffic here and need an answer soon.

D should be over soon and lawyer is going over final docs.

I asked my lawyer if I could keep the kids away from OW once the D is final..., no sleepovers, visits if OW is present etc. Lawyer told me no. WH can see, sleep with, etc., who he wants at that point. Kind of what he's doing now anyway, but in the temp. orders we have in place now, I have a stipulation that the kids cannot be in prescence of OW.

Did anyone put a clause in their D papers that stated WS had to keep kids away from OP? Is that possible to do? Lawyer said it's not.

If you figure out how, let me know. I don't think it's possible or I would probably be doing it right now.

Nice bonus of infidelity.

I know several D'd people who have a stipulation in their decree that prevents any overnights with a member of the opposite sex in the presence of the children (on both sides), but I haven't heard of a stipulation about a *specific* person.

I don't think it will work. It infringes upon a persons right to act in disgusting ways!

This right here really pisses me off. YOU can keep the wayward away during the process of divorce because the judge will recognize that it is not in the children's best interest but once you divorce the idiots can expose your children to any sort of pond scum including the [censored] that helped destroy your family. My EX WW gets visitation with our son but anytime I allow "extra time" (i.e.- my time with him that I willingly allow her to see him) I insist on OM not being anywhere near. She had a problem with this at first and I told her it would not be a problem and she could just seem him on her weekends period. She relented and to my knowledge has yet to have son around OM on "my time" allotted to her.

I think infidelity, abuse, abandonment, etc in a marriage that ends in divorce should end with the offending party literally getting a short end of the stick in more ways than one.

agreed... pisses me off too... but now I have sole custody and she only gets visitation when I say so. I have resolved the problem for me and feel bad for the people that still have to deal with this [censored].

a friend did have a clause in her D agreement that OW and her children could not be with her daughter unless it was for an event such as a family gathering.

BUT this was only because it was discovered the OW children had a sexual offense report made against them. (they are only in elementary school but they were reported for inappropraite behavior with another child)

even with this, the D order only stated that this was in effect for 1 year

I totally agree with what you said Hope...

The temp. orders I have now states that kids cannot be in presence of OW. WH is abiding by that. He took DS for 2 overnights, seperate occasions. OW slept elsewhere. But once we are D'd I can't reinforce that, even though I am now. How fuc*** up is that?

The bad part is that WH lives with OW, so if after the D, he takes then for an overnight, where does OW go? She left the 2 times he had DS recently, but that was just because of the temp. orders. She's not going to do that forever. WH says it's her home too, she should not have to leave!

That's the arguement the courts would have with me. I can't control what my WH does or who he lives with after the D. They just "hope" he would have some sense not to expose the kids, but I doubt it. As I said, he already stated to me that she lives with him now as his "roomate" and that's that. Where do I expect her to go when the kids would come over? I had to restrain myself on that question, that's for sure!

I guess I could try and ask my lawyer again if I could stipulate no overnights with the opposite sex while the kids are present, but again, he lives with OW, so I guess he just would not have overnights then. I still couldn't stop him from bringing the kids around during the day to see her. I don't want my kids to EVER see her!!!

I agree, makes me sick that WH even has any rights to his kids at all after all the he** he's put me and them through!

The courts are really screwed up!

sadly cat

i don't think you can do anything about this

just as he wouldn't be able to make stipulations on who you brought into your life or your children's lives

eav,

That's exactly what my lawyer told me. WH can't control what I do or who I see in my life either.

Just sucks that he will be exposing the kids to someone old enough to be their sister, and who broke up our family!

my lawyer told me that the "separation agreement" that my H and i have means that we are still married

we CANNOT live as though we are single

we cannot have SF with anyone else

and we cannot live with anyone else

we are STILL MARRIED and must abide by laws of what is allowed when you are married

big whoop

my H's doing all of that anyway

and my lawyer said "everyone does"

so what i found out is that you can't really stop anyone from doing anything anyway cat

Yeah what a joke that is!!!

My WH IS living as if he is single, IS having SF with someone else, and IS living with someone else.

Very sad that lawyers, as well as the courts take infidelity so lightly.

Oh, cat. I feel for you...that thought is so abhorrent to me that when the idea starts to creep up, I quickly shut the door. I don't even want to think about it. And here you are, dealing with it right now.

I totally agree with everything that everyone has said. It is so unfair, so dispicable. And the courts seem to be blind to it.

(((cat)))

Yeah it makes me ill to think that I am trying so hard to teach my kids morals, and in a few months WH will be allowing the kids contact with his OW.

So much for my teaching them the right way!

Too bad WH doesn't have morals!

I able to put down on my Dv decree that OM and/or OM's mother can't take care of my 2 D. I digged OM past and able to show cause.

However it is a paper victory (how could you monitor it w/o making your kids as spy ?) !. exW violated it !. I let go. Rather than going into court drama I focus on my time when my 2D w/ me.

-rh-

Yeah, I'm sure WH would get around that order some how.

Just sucks that you can't keep the vermin away from the kids.

My custody agreement does state that there can be no overnight visits with a member of the opposite sex unless related by blood or marriage when the kids are present. Of course, that doesn't preclude any other interactions, but that is probably fairly impossible, especially once the divorce is final, as it is in my case now.

With my luck, if I had that clause in my custody agreement, WH would then marry the whor*, just so it would be "legal" to have overnights with the kids.