Post deleted by autumnmu

Welcome. I'm sorry your marriage seems to be starting out on the wrong foot. I'm going to warn you ahead of time. You probably are not going to like what I have to say.



And what book would this be?

Have you ever heard that old song--there's a line "We belong to a mutual, admiration society, my baby and me'? Well you say he is critical of you but this sounds like mutual criticism society to me. You find fault with him too. In fact you have psychoanalyzed his problem: "He's trapped in his own skin." Why would you think it is okay to say something like this? Are you a trained psychologist? This is very disrespectful.

Why did you buy a bed without including him in the decision? Why are you planning meals without asking him what he wants to eat?

Have you read up on any of the MB concepts yet?

Have you ever been married before?

He is very angry and when i try to talk to him about how he feels he tells me he is not a woman and does not need to talk about his feelings. He says he is pissed at work and everyone he works with. I cooked dinner without asking him what he wanted because he usually says "I don't care," when I DO ask and he had been working (manual labor) all day. I wanted to take the load off his shoulders and have a meal ready when he came home.

I DID ask him about the bed before I bought it and he said it was "cool." I just wanted some acknowledgment for putting it together when I am six months pregnant and would have really liked for him to at least offer to help me. But, I didn't ASK him to, so I am at fault there.

I feel like I psychoanalyze him because he is so closed off and thinks feelings are stupid.

It's not that I did not like what you had to say, it is that your answer was very biased. You immediately took his side.

Yes, I have His Needs, Her Needs for Parents, the LoveBusters Workbook and we have done the LoveBusters Inventories and the His Needs, Her Needs Questionnaires together.

Thanks

One thing I did with my husband was to make a little Meal Calendar for each week. I would fill in what I planned to make for his meals, then give him a chance to have a look at it before I posted it on the fridge. If there was anything he thought he wasn't really in the mood for, we'd switch it with something else. We used this meal plan to help us not overspend on groceries, too. And it helped us to plan to use up leftovers in a timely manner - also money-saving.

Hubby liked it because then he could just look on the fridge and see what he was getting to eat each day - note that he had already approved these meals. Sometimes he would phone me from work and ask what we were having, then see if it was too late to switch a day with another one, if he was just not in the mood for today's meal. He also seemed to enjoy the anticipation - "Mmm! Tonight we get spanikopita!"

Maybe this would work for you?

thanks, but i still think that would be too predictable for my husband...i know, i know, it's hard to communicate exactly what i'm dealign with in type. things have been a lot better lately. i just gave him some space.