|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
threadjack more than welcome. It relates completely to the place we all find ourselves, so it belongs on this thread.
eav, I am amazed at the hope you still carry. The only thing that ever concerns me with your posts is this....you stated you have moved on while still keeping hope...I believe youbut this is what I would love to see...tell us more about the WONDERFUL things God is doing in your life. Most of the time I just hear sadness in your posts. I want to know more about how you are doing on the non-WH front!!!!
I know you post some of that, but we are all pulling for you and would love to hear more (and that is the key word...) about the joy and happiness in your life.
I am sure a lot of my feelings right now are self-preservation. I have had multiple people tell me that they believe my H did love me. I think mimi is right when she says I am buying into the WS lies when I believe otherwise. I think I feel that way because it is less painful. It helps me keep my love for him buried. Where on the other hand if I kept letting his current behavior pop into my head, I would lose all the love that is left.
All of my friends are still praying for the restoration of my marriage. I am glad that they are still doing that. I do believe that ALL things are possible. I guess I just get discouraged by reality. My hope is there, it is just deep deep down!
eav, I only hope that I will be as strong as you have been and are. You too silent.
mimi is a source of encouragement to me...even when she is using that heavy 2X4! We all need that person to remind us of our convictions. She is a rare jewel!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
All of my friends are still praying for the restoration of my marriage. Count me in that group.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
I do and thank you! The favor is being returned!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
The only thing that ever concerns me with your posts is this....you stated you have moved on while still keeping hope...I believe youbut this is what I would love to see...tell us more about the WONDERFUL things God is doing in your life. Most of the time I just hear sadness in your posts. I want to know more about how you are doing on the non-WH front!!!! Read back carefully over Eav's posts and her thread. I'm sure she can speak for herself BUT...she's MY GIRL...she's an hourly, daily blessing to her SPECIAL NEEDS STUDENTS, autistic students who most people would not give a minute per day. I'm sure those students are also a blessing to her. Have you checked how many books she reads..and what she has done in terms of remodeling her house???? Eav has grown IMMENSELY since she began posting here. Thanks for the KIND WORDS, IHC. Goddess that I am...I'll buy that I am a JEWEL... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> However, there are many other JEWELS here...including YOU... LET US SEE YOU SHINE!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
Well, it would be IMPOSSIBLE to read all of eav's stuff...but I know she is great!
Someday there will be real jewels...in those crowns...can't wait to see 'em!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Eav, do you have a link to your thread? I'd love to read your story. I know I've often wondered about you and have thought to myself how amazing you are by the length of time that you've endured. I don't know too many people with that kind of perserverance. I say keep on until YOU know you can't anymore. (((Eav)))
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
come to think of it, I haven't read your entire story. That would be good to know. I have only been keeping up for under a year now.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
come on eav...we're all needing this info!!!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
In WH (well from OW, anyway) e-mail to int. today, he stated that he did not want our foster son to come onthe visits anymore as he is a disruption. I know this is true as I talked to my FIL yesterday and he said the same thing...I know he loves this little boy, but he can drive you nuts. He has definite issues that are not "bad" behaviors, but just can wear on you after time.
Even I know that at this time that I cannot have him in my home much longer. I am hoping the mental health services he will shortly be receiving will be a turning point for him.
It is hard to love someone but not like being around them...that is how it is with this child. I love him and want the best for him, but our personalities clash completely. I am praying that a great home will open up for him and that I can still be part of his life....
It makes me sooo sad for my boy. I understand his feelings (WH), neither of us have ever bonded with this boy (my cousins son that we are guardians of...she passed away when he was just 4) .
I just feel sad because if WH doesn't want him there, he will feel that rejection...even if he still keeps going.
I am looking for a place for him to spend those weekends...somewhere that he will feel loved and appreciated.
I am still sending him today though. My DD just said she doesn't want to go with her dad today. She is angry with him right now.
I really need some time to myself...so I hope she changes her mind!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Again, IHC, I only have one child and I feel the need for a break sometimes. I won't be getting them much anymore, due to WH's living situation, but it's a small price to pay for DS's stability and happiness.
I hope you are able to find a small piece of time for yourself.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
Post deleted by XXXXXXXXXX
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 487 |
Because it helps us to know YOU more...someone who we have come to admire and think of often!
BW 35 (Me)
WH 35
DS 11, DS 10, DD 10, DS 5, DS 3
Married 1994
Dday 7-9-06
Plan B started 12-24-06
Psalm 62:5 My soul wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Have you been able to corroborate that your H is a serial cheater?
People LIE and MAKE MISTAKES...
Someone told me that too and they were actually making reference to my H taking back up with the same woman...
Verify information that you receive from OTHERS
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
BTW...
Eav..BACK IN THE DAY..was WIMPY..not she is GUTSY..and OUTSPOKEN...
She's FOREVER BEEN A GODDESS, THOUGH...
She even recently BOUGHT A TRUCK....
Eav...MY GIRL!!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
mimi
i've been nothing but a wimp this week
trying to reach out to my husband and his family and getting no response
then finding out that OWH divorced her
this week i've cried and cried and tried to find the strength to keep fighting for my marraige when i'm the only one who even thinks there is one
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
IHC
you're right
there is much sadness in my posts and in my heart
i miss my husband
i've tried many things to fill the void in my heart where he used to be and i can't
that emptiness can only be filled by having a partner to share my life with
i know that i won't find true happiness until i have that again
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083 |
Ev - I promise you - there is peace and there is happiness that isn't dependent upon an outside relationship. And having that peace and happiness makes you a better partner for when he comes back or you find you've moved on.
That feeling comes from being happy with who you are.
Have you read The Four Agreements?
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
i haven't read that kayla
what's it about?
i am happy with my home and i love my job and my two furry boys
i was happier and will be happier when i have someone to share these things with
that's what's missing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083 |
The Four Agreements is about four fundamental beliefs or "agreements" that lead to happiness. About The Four Agreements and the Author
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
thanks for the link kayla
|
|
|
0 members (),
255
guests, and
64
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|