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Joined: Jun 2004
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What would you do if you found out that your DH was using an alt sign in on the computer (labeled "adult" to view adult sites), using it for a couple hours, then deleting it?
I have no idea what he's doing on it, but I found out. He has been acting funny lately and I got suspicious (sp) and looked at our McAfee log.
Should I just drop it and chalk it up to some internet porn?
Another issue is I've been weaning off my anxiety meds so I don't know if that is why I'm so upset.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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[color:"red"]with this in your tag line [/color] [color:"red"] I'd say your concern is warranted [/color]
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Joined: Feb 2007
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I think you should just ask him if he looks at porn online. Don't mention the user name or anything. If he gets defensive just ignore it and wait for an answer.
If I read your sig correctly you have every right to ask him about this. Why do you need our advice? As far as anxiety goes, I'd be anxious too if I had to wonder about this.
My Husband looks at porn online and openly admitts it. I don't feel threatened by it. I think if he's hiding it then it needs to be addressed.
Sorry you have to go through this! ugh!
_____________
FBS - 2001 or so
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halseybach
I don't really have any advice on your DH using an alt sign in, but I think if it walks like a duck...
I am concerned about you saying you've been weaning off your anxiety meds. Are you doing this with your doctor's supervision? Otherwise, I wouldn't advise you to do it on your own.
As far as that being the reason you are upset, I think given your H's track record, once he starts to "act different" you have a reason to be upset, and internet porn isn't "nothing". I think you have every reason to be concerned.
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
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He gets completely defensive about anything and everything because I "can't let it go". Everytime something like this comes up, it's all my fault for not being able to move on. Part of me agrees and wishes I could forget it all, but then there is the other part that thinks, if I forget it all, am I opening myself up to being cheated on again?
Honestly guys, sometimes I don't think it's worth it anymore. We fight whenever he goes out of town (because most of the time it was while he was out of town that he was having affairs) and it's just awful. I wonder if I would just be better off alone.
I really think if I didn't have children or debt, I would have left a long time ago. I feel like everything that happens is now my fault because I can't just move on and trust. Well, I will never blindly trust again.
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What do you see as your options?
Pep
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Leave and file bankruptcy and try to raise my children as best as I can in two homes. I can't see any other options any more.
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You could stay and make the best of what you have ... that too is an option.
Pep
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Yeah, I know.
I don't know if I'm going to say anything. He just came home and is in a better mood. eh.
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staying with a man who has had 5 affairs in 6 years and is now sneaking porn? i'd go the leave and file bankruptcy route. being alone is better than being with a serial cheater. i don't think staying and making the best of what you have is a very good choice. you surprise me pepper! yes, there are children involved but my exh was a serial cheater and i will tell you, it will suck every last ounce of self esteem you may have had right out of you. if he has cheated that many times he will cheat again.
doesn't sound to me like your h is even actively working on the marriage. if it is so bad that you have had to be on anti anxiety meds, well, i don't think any man or marriage is worth that.
honestly, i would get out of that marriage. let some other woman deal with him being a serial cheater.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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