I'm specifically looking for some real-life experience with adultery and fraternization in the military. I have read the policies/rules on both, but what I really want to know is what usually happens to these cases. Do they go to court martial, or are they dealt with in NJP? Who decides this?

Also, what's a typical punishment?
(I've heard of anything from a dishonorable discharge/time in the brig to a Letter of Counseling. I'm guessing it depends on how it's investigated.)

For background, here's my situation

Thank you

I work for a Naval hospital. In 5 years, I've only seen one case of adultery, and that was a Lieutenant. The punishment was a fine of $500. a month, and 6 months extra duty, and confinement to the hospital.

I've heard of discharges being issued, in one case I knew an enlisted person who had an affair with an officer and ended up being discharged. I knew the person involved, but I certainly wasn't privy to all the details of the affair.

I was an Army sniper in an Infantry Division, so...there weren't many cases of adultery tossed around in my unit.

Nonetheless, it's still a tough case in the military - and yet it's still one of the toughest places on adultery. (Sheesh, tells you something there...if you think the Military is soft on adultery, try the Private Sector. Moral Compasses everywhere are whack.)

I'll speak from experience, Kamakura. If my posts are still up from a year ago, you can see them. Basically, it's like this. Command, or CG doesn't want to have to issue 'bad paper' on someone unless it's really warranted. This I promise you, though. If you go to CG and ask for a no contact order, you'll get one.

As far as who decides punishment, that's also the CG in coordination with the JAG. They're going to converse back and forth.

My wife started an affair while deployed end of 05 to beginning of 06. It's a nasty business. But I told her up front, you can cut contact or I can do it for you. I gave her the choice of killing it herself or of me going to her command. Unfortunately, she chose the latter. The no contact order was issued and that's pretty much where it stopped. No Art. 15, no NJP of any kind for her. She was and still is an AD officer. The OM, who was at the time 3 pay grades above her got an LOA.

You won't truin a career by going to his command for the adultry. Officer on enlisted may be a different issue, though. DoD likes to quietly sweep these things under the rug unless the participants don't quit when they're ordered to.

Because you don't have kids, this may make it a cut and run deal for him. I'm prior service and have been out since 94. I can't tell you how i would react in a combat zone. I can tell you that you control half the marriage and if you want access to the CG, you can get it.

If you go the route of talking to the CG, be prepared for all ****** to break lose for a while. He's gonna be pissed. But once he doesn't have that connection to OW . . . well, it'll improve or it won't. In my case, it got much better after a few weeks.

Good luck to you and keep us posted. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the replies everybody!!!

Drexxell, your story gives me hope! The only thing that complicates things is that neither of them is still with the command they deployed with.

Would I work through the support center that handles all of his paperwork? (He's assigned to a center in our state, but is currently billeted to one out of state.)

I will see if there is a JAG rep at the center. I'd like to keep his old command out of things for as long as possible.

WH has a stellar record--he's even been nominated by his battalion for national awards. But the CO of his old battalion is a real a$$ and I could see him going over the top if he was the one in control.

I served almost 6 years in the military, however I was stationed the whole time with the Battalions. I won't get into details about which battalion or where my battalion was homeported.

I will start by saying that each command is different and how they handle the situation will depend on the individual command. But the following are the experiences based off the 2 commands I was stationed with.

My command is not that big and my base was not that big also. So rumors where always flying (it was like an adult high school). A lot of adultery went on IMO at our base even at our command, also at other battalions that were on my base. My commands (also other commands on the base) wouldn't take action unless they had good evidence that an affair was going on and sometimes then they would try to push it under the rug. It also depends on the circumstances. But the following are some experiences that happened at my base or command. Most of the affairs involved enlisted with other enlisted, rarely was it enlisted with officer.

In my battalion we had a MM a LT (O-3) who was the battalion's medical officer. He started an A while on deployment with a single E-4. At first they were sneaky about it, but during the course of the deployment they got kind of bold and starting going to public places off base together. A lot of people heard rumors about what was going on but didn't say nothing. I don't remember how they were eventually caught. The punishment for the E-4 was 1 month restriction and half months pay. The punishment for the O-3 was a LOR (letter of reprimand) and he was transfered to a different command in another state.


In our battalions we usually have one member from the Marines who is usually between the rank of E-7 thru E-9. Well our married E-8 Marine had an A while on deployment with a single young LT she was a very pretty young blond (O-3). Other members of the battalion saw them out in town and never said anything. Sometimes members of the battalions would have "deployment only relationships" and would get hotels overnight for off days. Well others saw these 2 coming out of a hotel room on 3 different occasions. The E-8's wife was good friends with the wife for a E-6 that I worked for. The E-6 passed the information on to his wife and from their the wife told the E-8's wife. The E-8's wife told the command and the command did nothing about it. They just brushed it under the rug and said unless they had some kind of proof they couldn't do anything about it. The bad part is that the folks in our command treated the E-6 like crap after that incident and some people labeled him a snitch.

I have to pick up my dog from the groomer I will come back and give you a few other examples.

On my old base a WH (E-3) had an A with a single E-4. The E-4 had genital herpes passed it on to the WH and WH passed it on to BW. BW informed command that WH was having an affair and had given her an STD. She also informed the command that this wasn't the first time WH had an A. The CO gave both the WH and OW 45 days restriction (which is stupid because, commands keep restricted folks together and WH spent all his time with OW), half months pay x2 and kicked them both out of the military. His shop supervisor said at mast the CO said one of the main reasons for kicking him out was that it wasn't his first A.

Another time a WH chief (E-7) was having an A with a single E-3, who worked for him. The E-3 was awaiting separation already for some other trouble she got into. Well when the WH chief tried to end the affair the OW got upset and reported that the WH chief had sexually assualted and harrassed her. I am think the WH confessed to the A, but not to sexually harrassing or assualting her. The chief got restriction (I think no more than 14 days), I don't remember what else happened to him. But I will tell you it is a very embarrassing for a chief to be on restriction. The OW also was put on restriction, but she had to serve it at another command and was immediately separated from the military.

I have never seen WS and OP in the military go to court martial because of an A. With the Navy they usually do a Captain's Mast. People can get kicked out of the military at Captain's Mast, I have seen it happen a lot. It is more common with junior enlisted. The punishments can vary at CO's mast, here are a few examples of the punishments that I usually saw given: restriction, half months pay x2, reduction in rank, fines, CCU, extra duty, or kicked out of the military. Also any NJP on your service record automatically can hurt your chances for advancement and your good conduct time starts all over again.

I wanted to add something else. I have noticed that you need NC with the OP. But in the military that can be almost impossible. Because if the WS and OP are in the same command it is almost impossible to get them to transfer due to an A. From what I have seen the only time a transfer occurs is if it involves an officer and enlisted or a very high ranking enlisted (E-7 or above) and a very junior enlisted (E-3 or below) or it involves a situation where a boss is having an affair with one of his workers and even then they usually just are transfered to another command on that same base. What I am trying to say is yes the command may punish them, but don't have high expectations that the command will transfer either WS or OP to some far away place. From what I have seen they get punished and usually stay in the same command.

In the military's mind it is up to the WS and OP to not rekindle an A. Because in the military you are in constant contact with others and you don't have any choice in the matter. Since military members can be a different command and still have to work together and see each other.In my command they took almost a sweep under the rug type attitude toward an A. Everyone knows in the military the mission comes first for a command. A WS and OP in the same command are an important part of the mission in a command, so the command may not be willing to transfer either of them. A WS could put in for a swap, but even getting a swap is difficult (you have to find someone willing to come to your duty station and usually you have to pay for the cost of the move).

Here is what I would do if I was a BS in the above situation I was trying to achieve NC with OP, is to talk to the WS detailers, ombudsman, command liasion, WS bosses or coworkers. They may have be able to work out something you never know it is worth a try. The military also have counseling services for free. I know in the Navy they had this hotline that was staffed by other Navy wives and you can call if you have any concerns or problems. I am pretty sure these wives have encountered problems like this before and could offer some good suggestions to the BS.

my ex was part time military (still is), the air force reserves. on the advice of MM and many others here, i reported my h's affair even tho it was and still is, with a civilian. i went right to the top with it (can't remember what they are called now) but told them how ex had been having this A for over a year, and carried on A's while in Texas at Lackland for training. Well, long story short, they could do nothing when he was not "active duty", and he was only active when he was on base for his one weekend a month. They could have done more had i contacted them while he was at lackland but i didn't know to contact them at the time.

altho his sargent (spelling?) was sympathetic, my ex merely got a slap on the wrist. his supervisor spoke with him and told him to make the ending of our marriage legal or they would not take him to iraq. that was about it. he has since brought ow to many military functions, quite proudly i might add. he even brought her over bringing his own children!

so, i think it all depends. some of those groups all good ole boys clubs and nothing much ends up happening. it is too bad too. the military shouldn't want such scum, such bottom feeders, such unbecoming officers, as part of what represents the united states.

mlhb

I contacted the Center ombudsman, who will check to see if there is a JAG contact for me.

I know that this being the reserves it might not be as cut and dry. But could they seriously reassign the OW to a different billet? That would be the best news I've heard in a long time.

We live near a reserve center. She lives 500 miles away, and has a center near there where she drilled for years. (Because of her rate & rank, there aren't a lot of billets for her.)

Upon their return, WH put out the feelers at our center for a billet. He passed her name along to the folks in a detachment and she got the billet.

He is currently billeted with a detachment 2,000 miles away, which means he flies out there on Drill weekends. So far I don't think they've had any interaction at the local center.

The one benefit of this being the Reserves is that everybody knows everybody. The enlisted members stay with the battalion for as long as they live in the area, with the officers cycling in and out.

It is in the command's best interest to keep this affair from coming to light, given what high regards the two of them have had.

The irony in all of this is that during deployment, she served as one of the master at arms. It was her job to enforce the rules.