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LG>>>>
Saluting the departing helicopter from the back of BB62
Please return as needed!
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Chris,
You're not leaving, are you? Even those of us who didn't post much to you are still rooting for you.
You have really been a great example of personal growth and recovery - even if the marriage has not recovered.
We need more people like you here. So, don't go. Or if you need a break, hurry back.
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Bitbucket: The only one here who gets references to Color Sergeant Bourne. Excused duty! Seriously - both condolences and congratulations are in order. I'm sorry that you went through this, but you showed an extraordinary amount of grace and strength through the ordeal. I also loved your well placed plan FU. Can't wait to hear what she's like at the bank tomorrow.
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{{Chris}} First, thanks for the kind words! I don't know where your Goddess may be right now, but the day she finds you, she will certainly be Blessed with a gift direct from God! All I can say is DITTO everything that has already been posted here! I hope you realize that using the word Bust now has BC thinking about nothing besides BUSTS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hope you stick around here, you have much to contribute.
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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There went my chance to get a bronze bust in the MB Hall of Fame. Chrisner - Bullhockey! Nonsense! Phtooey! Those bronze busts are for everyone who TRIED in the face of enormous odds and against gargantuan adversity, who "fought the good fight" instead slinking away in abject surrender. Some are just the Bronze Busts. Some are Bronze Busts WITH Gold Star for the marriages that didn't survive. Which has "greater honor?" All those who tried with all their soul regardless of an unknown future and emerged a better, sounder, person from the experience. To KNOW love, not just feel love. (((((Chrisner))))) God bless.
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Chrisner,
Thanks for your kind words. Have to echo again what is being said - you are a success, you gave it your all, you are a changed person.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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I have to concur with what everyone is saying here, Chris. Think about it...in your kind words--probably brought on my drunkenness I might add <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />--you mentioned that I'm to be coronated Queen Bee. Well...MY marriage didn't survive. My exH is currently living on the other coast, has dumped his final OW long ago and is currently sort of co-habitating with someone else (on the weekends...because he can't commit), and has grown a little personally but not really done any counseling, nor does he go to therapy or the doc for his illnesses. He has changed jobs many times...moved many times...basically still his bipolar, unwilling to change, disrespectful self. [On a positive note, I will say that four years later, he did finally admit to me one day that he was a horrible husband to me and that I didn't deserve it.]
However, chris, speaking in a positive way about myself, go look at still's thread and you'll see everything that *I* accomplished. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I may have gotten the bronze bust because *I* recovered! I am a completely different woman today, and I stayed on the journey of self-improvement after my D was final! Now, I am ecstatically married to a man who is a GOOD match to me...and I am emotionally healthy! *I* recovered!
I can understand the need to possible stay off of MB for a while. In all significant ways, the A is over (for you) and the pain of hearing other peoples' stories can sometimes keep ya "in it" rather than recovering...but I really do hope you come back and share your wisdom and wit when you're ready. People who come here are in the darkest times of their lives, and they need a man who can be direct, positive and even funny sometimes--to remind 'em how to laugh again. Men need "men-folk" to talk to, and they need an example of growing big brass ones--exposing--owning their own stuff--and staying the course.
This day is a tragedy for Wayzilla, and I'm sure she doesn't know it. But it is a triumph for your and your DD19 (for whom my admiration at her young wisdom grows daily).
Your mama bee,
CJ
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Chris, You keep your personal growth and your big brass one's away from me you sick son of a......wait a minute.....ohhhhhh, I get it. I was thinking something else. nevermind sorry I'm bringin my cane knife just in case <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Sorry, mis amigo. I know you have mixed feelings, so I'm happy for the relief and sad for the regret.
I'm with Jim. Wayzilla is close to the bottom, but not quite there yet. This need not be an end point unless you want it to be.
You know where to find me . . . .
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Oh, Chris...thank you so much...I was just catching up...I am so honored...my heart swelled... No, just my heart! My little man in a boat is fine, thanks... WHat? I have to do it before BC did! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Seriously, that was so wonderful of you to thank everyone like that...classy with SIS and BUGS! I rock.... More cool points please! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Chrisner.....
Wayzilla is a FOOL.
Take care and hope you come back occasionally because your post and BC's make me laugh when no one else's can.
BTW.....I was up that night you started the woodchipper thread and it was one of the best laughs I had in a long time, at the time. Thanks for that.
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Chris-
You have a great sense of humor, and you are a NOBLE and HONORABLE man.
You are an inspiration to us women, that there ARE men like you still around.
Kind of like how my dad is.
It just warms me to see the wonderful relationship that you have with your D, and how much you valued your family. That is a great thing.
Wayzilla is a fool.
I hope that you are doing ok... are you holding up ok?
Happy journeys!
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Bronze busts, battleship. Hm.... not very flattering even at my age. LOL!!! Still I know it was a compliment from the heart and we love you for it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Chrisner, I hope this don't mean you are leaving us. We need someone of your stamina to keep the newbies in line. Let them know recovery at all levels are possible.
I am proud to know you pulled through and your children are a credit to you as well.
Hugz to you all,
L.
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Chris - you're right no bronze bust in the MB hall of fame.
Instead you get a Gold Bust and a place of Honour.
I salute you sir and wish you well. God Bless.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Good luck, Chrisner. You've shown us all how to retain a sense of humour and perspective, during a time of devastating pain.
Sometimes it's important to observe how ridiculous the behaviour of people-acting-with-distorted-morality can be.
Lots of people in the MB Hall, whose marriages could not be saved. It's the saving of the self that earns a place on the plinth, whatever happens to the marriage.
TA
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Chris,
I never really know what to say about the bad times. I don't believe they have a purpose so much as they teach us about ourselves. I'm absolutely positive that you are absolutely fabulous! WZ will figure that out as she bottoms out; just a shame it takes all of this pain and grief to show people who we really are.
Being the BS and finding MB, your self recovery has helped you to become what WILL be a better H in the future, or a better partner if M is not what you want.
I'm sorry that I haven't been posting much, I threw out my back picking DS up to put in the grocery cart Monday afternoon, and have been in bed since. Back at work today, hobbling around like a veeeery old lady.
Who knows what the days and months will bring? You are prepared for it all.
Let's just hope that WZ is able to drop the waywardness and hold her daughter in her arms once more. It's a trajedy what has been done to their relationship.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Divorce: T-Plus 6 Days.
It would be nice that when a divorce is final it is final. More crap work to do and mostly all by me; cash out refinance, split the bank accounts, split multiple investments and IRA’s, insurances, car titles, blah, blah, blah. Ah, the joys of the thrill a minute single life. But it should only be a few more days now. Then I move on from a Dark Plan B to something even darker like the Witness Protection Program. Wayzilla will have an easier time finding Jimmy Hoffa.
I had to use the term ex-wife in an official conversation for the first time yesterday. Boy does that sound funny after 26 years.
But I am doing well. The finality of the D brings around a lot of emotional regurgitation but it passes pretty quickly. A visit from all your old friends from the past few months; anger, depression, anxiety, sadness. But they are not that welcome anymore so they don’t hang around too long. Plan B has helped a lot in preparation for this day.
Oh well, I thought I would keep this thread going for a while as a welcome spot for all the A’s, Bee’s and my new favorites, the Dee’s. So come on in and grab a “comfy chair”. No Spanish Inquisition here. Come on in to vent, laugh, cry and live.
Drinks and snacks are always on the house in this thread. The grill is open 24/7. Plus I was thinking of running a course on the proper use and care of a woodchipper.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I CALL THE BEANBAG SHAPED LIKE A CATCHER'S MITT! I remember, right after PWC and I married, calling him my HUSBAND, and how strange that sounded to me, like he belonged to me in some way. That's gotta be weird to say XW. For your enjoyment... The Spanish Inquisition
by Monty Python
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In the early years of the 16th century, to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy, the Pope gave Cardinal Ximinez of Spain leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that makes a smashing film. This was the Spanish Inquisition...
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(this transcript is also available with screen shots from the original)
Chapman: Trouble at mill.
Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: Pardon?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: I don't understand what you're saying.
Chapman: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle.
Cleveland: Well what on earth does that mean?
Chapman: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[The Inquisition exits]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals burst in]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Cardinal Biggles] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals enter]
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....
Ximinez: Expects...
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Ximinez: Inquisition.
Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Ximinez: Our chief weapons are...
Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Ximinez: Surprise...
Biggles: Surprise and --
Ximinez: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Biggles: That's enough.
[To Cleveland] Now, how do you plead?
Clevelnd: We're innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
[DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER]
Biggles: We'll soon change your mind about that!
[DIABOLICAL ACTING]
Ximinez: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Cardinal -- the rack!
[Biggles produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Ximinez looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger]
Ximinez: You....Right! Tie her down.
[Fang and Biggles make a pathetic attempt to tie her on to the drying rack]
Ximinez:Right! How do you plead?
Clevelnd: Innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn.
[Biggles stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders]
Biggles: I....
Ximinez: [gritting his teeth] I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Biggles: I...
Ximinez: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Biggles: Shall I...?
Ximinez: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Biggles turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack]
[Cut to them torturing a dear old lady, Marjorie Wilde]
Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
[Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture]
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Zoom into Fang's horrified face]
Fang [terrified]: The...Comfy Chair?
[Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one]
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
[They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair]
Ximinez [with a cruel leer]: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. [aside, to Biggles] Is that really all it is?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess
Biggles: I confess!
Ximinez: Not you!
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Ah, yes. Fond memories of Carol Cleveland and the Castle Anthrax. (Yes the word is memories BC).
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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The castle AAAAAAAaaaaaaa
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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