H and I rarely have fights. We do not even discuss that much. When things are not well he sulks and I distance myself. We never discuss things. Impossible with him. Trying to talk with H about things is like inflicting physical pain on him so I have stopped doing it.
Today, I sent him a message (why talk about it right)? telling him I felt a failure (I am); that I was the one to blame and accepted it and that I had asked a friend of mine (woman) if I could stay with her for a while until I could see through the fog in my mind.
She is super-happy to have me.
H texted me back "Very good".
This is his reply.

Now, listen to this, because it is ridiculous to say the least: we are, to the "outside world" one of the most loving couples in our circle of friends. An example to follow. I kid you not.

I did not expect H would fight for "us" (he's never fought for anything). I have told him before that if/when we separate we would be the only coulpe in the world to do it without a single word being uttered between us. Very civilized. Perfect manners <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

It seems it is happening now.

And I don't even care any more

BB

Bubble- How long married? Kids? You would be happier if you guys fought? Primary responsiblity for own's own happiness rests with onesself. To end your mariage?? That is a questions you have to answer yourself.

Are you willing to fight for the marriage? It may not be that he's unwilling to put in the effort, more that he feels he's showing you respect for your wishes. I don't know.

Do you talk about things other than the relationship, or do you not talk at all? Some men find any talk about relationships very stressful. They may feel as if they are failing.

What if you dragged him to some sort of therapy? Probably not talk therapy, but something else?

Have you read this entire site? Do. There's a lot of practical advice.

Also, if you move out, why not invite him out on a date? That will keep the relationship question open. "This is not about ending our relationship, it's about saving it."