I just was posting with a mutual friend, and indicated that I was thinking of you the other day. She informed me that you posted to her a while ago. So, I thought I'd press my luck and see if I could catch your eye........

I barely remember how to use this site! Good grief.

Spidey

Spidey!!!

Nice to see your feather pluckin' insane self! CV's still over on the recovery board and would love to see another "steel magnolia", I bet!

Anyway, sorry for the thread jack!

Hope life is treating you grander than a Steinway!

SD

Seeing you post on my thread just gave me a sh*t eating grin. CV told me that she'd talked to you about my sitch, when she posted to me on "the other site," and thank you for those kind words. Something about the fact that I am so incredibly wonderful that I won't be alone for long unless I will it so. :-)

I still remember you as being the ONLY man brave enough to enter the "girl's" locker room. Hee hee hee.

Today would have been my 16th Anni, and I guess I am experiencing a bit O'nostalgia. It happens.

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping in, you are not thread-jacking, and if you want to say anything or know anything, type back at me.

How is everything with you going, BTW? I have become pretty self-centered for the past (let's see, counting on her fingers.....) 9 months or so........It happens. :-)

Hi Spidey - Good to see you again! I have been watching your story on the other board. So I'm fairly caught up. My divorce is finally final, and WH and OW ended the affair about 2 weeks later.

Giggle, giggle

Kinda the same expression that crossed my face when I saw YOUR post! Yeah, I miss sneaking around that locker room <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Nostalgia is not such a bad thing...there can be good memories taken from years of marriage.

I always enjoyed your sometimes maverick views when we were posting back in the day. My marriage has recovered from the adultery, but we're still working on some issues that allowed the marriage to become vulnerable. Most days are good, with an occasional flare up of tempers and words, but we continue to work on "it". My perceived lack of SF over the marriage is still not solved, but ever improving over time. My W is "falling in love" with me, but it's a slow, tedious process. It's all taken longer than I had hoped for, but I'd take today over where I was "back then" any day!

Thank goodness I was blessed with a great deal of patience.

Spidey, you sound fabulous!!! I hope your self centered, feather pluckin' insane self stays on a happy track!

All the best
SD

Spidey,

So you D'd your H? Are you recovering well?

I was not aware that you frequented that space. Just a lurker, eh?

Well, that definately saves a LOT of time. And typing.

I was just telling our mutual friend today that I truly believe you were more disappointed in X (that is what I call him for short) than I was.


Reading this made me giggle.

So, how are you doing? What's going on in your life? Still living in the same place, very organized and clean and working 12 jobs?

I am going to school full time, as I'm sure you know, working about 30 hours a week with juvenile sex offenders, raising my two teenage boys (14 and 15) ~ plus trying to maintain a social life of some sort.

Also, I go in for a tummy tuck consultation next Friday. Woo-hoo! I have a great life, new and old awesome friends, awesome family....

I just recently visited my friends in VA, and to my friend every time something challenging would come up, I would say, "Patience is a very hard lesson to learn." She just kinda smiled and nodded.

Well, the day she took me to the airport, we waited in several different lines, kept getting the run-around ~ overall, the most taxing airport experience I've ever encountered. And after we were finally all checked in, she said that by practicing patience, the time went by faster. Then she also said, "Patience IS a hard lesson to learn." I just smiled "knowingly" and nodded.

Sounds like everything is progressing with you, anyway.


You know, other than the failed marriage, I am doing fabulous. Or I should say, in Spite of (the French meaning of the word Mepris, not our English version of spite, FTI, long story, trust me) the failed marriage, I am doing fabulous. Thank you for noticing! I have my moments, but they are fewer and farther between than they were 6 months ago. :-)

Spidey

I did. It was final 2/14/07. I did it all myself, went to court by myself, and got-er-done.

I am recovering. Well? Not sure. Maybe depends on who you ask. :-)

Haven't seen you around in a while. You OK?

Spidey - All my days are good again. It only took me 3 years to recover! Yep, the "soulmates" crashed and burned when the D was final. In fact she is back with her husband, and we are neighbors again.

believer, that is crazy! Who knew???

Yeah, that is about what it takes for me ~ 3 years. I finally made up with Former Best Friend about the first affair, roughly 3 year after the incident(s). So, only about 2.5 more years for X and his AP. lol

So, how is your XH doing in all this? Is he just OK being by himself? I kinda know the answer to this question, but I have to ask anyway......

Oh, he has turned into a drunken bum. He begged me to take him back, and it was really sad. Then he kept coming around. But I just was done.

I haven't seen him or talked to him in several months, so I don't know what he is doing now.

First let me say how glad I am to hear that you are on the road to personal recovery. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Last time I checked on you the idea of D was being discussed. I am sure you know the failure was not yours. (spidey)

Me? Doing ok. NYE we had our final dday. He came to some conclusions on his own and ended the A finally. I don't like to say we are in recovery because until he really gets himself right with God and works through his issues I don't think our marriage will fully recover. I am impressed though with the conclusions he has come to about all of this. I guess some things really do have to happen in their own time. I am recovering personally and have detached just enough to be ok for now. I pretty much live my life one day at a time. My kids are happy and that is my goal for now. We are NC with OC. Not sure if/when that will change. For now I do not want the drama that contact will certainly bring into our lives.

Well, lol that was probably more than you expected.

Good to see you around. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

edited to add that for the first time since all this happened his actions are lining up with his words. See I have learned too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Dang, grrrrl, everything can and does happen. Sheesh.

So, do you have anyone new and special in your life? Are you still living in the same place, with a roomie, or what? Is everything still bright and clean and organized at your place?

That is what I am going to do this summer ~ organize and reclaim everything. Everything. Still a lot of little (but big) things to do ~ divy up our family pics is among my most *unlooked-forward-to" activity I have for an example.

Hopefully X will have the Adultery Trailer out of my garage soon. He has really struggled making this happen. Definately a strange duck!

Thank you so much, Sweetie. I am. It is a process, and a journey, but I am on my way. :-)


X is actually in IC with our old MC, but what is kinda creepy is that I think it might be to make his R with CW (co-worker) work. Yucky. But, hopefully he can come to some conclusions on his own. No matter why he is seeing the IC, it should be good for him. He needs someone to talk to, and as far as I know he only talks regularly to CW. Only. That is tough to only have one friend.

But everything needs to happen in its own time, not our own time. :-) Patience is a hard lesson to learn. And living one day at a time is a very good way to live, no matter what you are doing. I also understand your avoidance of the drama of contact ~ I have had to just call off all contact unless about our kids or finances ~ it is just Too Hard otherwise.


Neither more than I expected, nor more than I wanted. Thank you so much for taking the time to update me. I am so happy for you. For all of us, everything is as it should be.

Spidey

Living in the same place, with everything bright and sparkling. Still have the roommates, and that has worked out fine. I have a couple guys I go places with, but cringe at the thought of anything serious. All in all, my life is good.

I think you missed the Harley part. Ex and I settled out of court, and I got the Harley and the home. I felt bad for OW's husband. He was the one who lost the most. So I gave him the Harley. That was long before OW went back with him.

So before the affair, ex and I were happily living here with our brand new Harley. Now ex is out, and OW and her ex are happily living together with a 4 year old Harley. That about sums it up.

Me too! We are so cool. :-)


Of course you did! Very classic believer stuff. Actually, I should revise my previous statement to ~ believer is so cool, aren't I lucky to know such a lady. :-)

I have a roomie now myself, a good girlfriend. We have fun, and she loves the boys and they adore her. They even want to wait for her to be available to see the new Pirates of the Carribean movie! That says a LOT.

I am doing really well, too. I have a great part-time job, new friends, incredible kids ~ holy crap. Hard to believe I had a hand in THAT wonder. I think the D has helped me actually with raising them ~ being able to let go just that much for their teenage years.

Poor dumb WH's ~ they are such big losers. Live and learn.