Wouldn't that be a fourple? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Ya know, when my FWH was wayward and out in the bars, he was approached by a couple. It seems it was the W's birthday and her H wanted to give her a present-- my H. He offered to pay my H for his services to his wife. Can you say EWWWWW? It really freaked my H out, he declined (thank God!), but he didn't tell me about it until after we were back together. So I guess it more prevalent than us normal folks suspect.

LMAO @ 2long!

I've known couples who like to pick women up together and do "things" with them. Of course... none of them are couples any more!

I didn't say it doesn't cause problems... just that it is out there, and it is sad. I cringe when I think of my DD going out into the world these days.

Funny (strange), that reminded me of some horror movie I saw (Stephen King, perhaps?) years ago, when some adolescent boys caught a neighborhood cat and dissected it live. Now I'm creeping myself out!

-ol' 2long

"They were walking four abreast (that's 2 deep)" - Benny Hill

2,

"Wouldn't that be a fourple?"

Are you losing your touch -> Shouldn't that be "4ple?"

LOL 2long, you're on a roll tonight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Not to be confused with how about a roll?
Unless it's a jelly roll, of course. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know, lame.

And then there's "marital arts"

Now I'm going 2 have "Jelly Roll Gum Drop" playing through my haid all afternoon!

-ol' 2long

Appy!!

Stop me before I post again!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

You are supposed to stop me!

aaahhhhhh....

I think we would all be surprised at how prevelant swinging is now. I started researching the ow and that led me to many adult swinger sites. They go by location on some of them. Hundreds of registered swingers in just our fairly small town. Very sad and very scary.

You may not know anyone in this relationship paradigm, but I have two childhood friends who openly participate in multi-partner relationships, and a couple more I suspect are doing the same thing in private.

IMHO, this relationship style IS becoming more prevalent, particularly among college educated 30 and 40 somethings. As far as I can tell, it is an outgrowth of college age "relationship experimentation" as more and more individuals buy into the idea that human relationships can be negotiated on a case-by-case basis instead of sticking to a tried-and-true model.

You have to keep in mind that our culture has been selling the idea to itself since the 1960's that more sexual partners and more sexual experimentation make a person happier.

I think what we are seeing in the natural outgrowth of that mindset, and all the problems that go along with it.

The thought makes me physically ill. Xcuse me while I go HURL!

Sure, happier, while they're sick in bed from Aides and other STD related illnesses. Nice ... just lovely.

And oh, I bet it's ever so good in teaching (modeling) their children all about what a married (committed) relationship is all about. Or do they sneak around when doing this? And if they sneak, why????????? How very telling.

You can come up with as many fancy combinations of designer words as you like to describe it:

Relationship Paradigm
The Life Style

Its still a bunch of MARRIED adult strangers humping and sharing their bodily fluids, similar to ... ummmm .... A Bevy of Rutting PIGS. (thanks Mel)

If one wants a fancy word for it, call it PORNMANTIC SLEAZINESS. Hows that?

I'll see your paradigm and raise you 5 cents (2long hands over a quarter).

-ol' 2long

You can call it what you want, you can be disgusted, you can say "it doesn't belong on MB", you can say its ungodly. The bottom line is there are poly events in every mid-size to larger city. They get together and discuss how its ok to have multiple partners - at pot lucks just to make it all sound respectable and suck people in. There are swinger clubs everywhere with happy smiling writeups about their events. Once you start talking to people you would be amazed at how many people know someone who has been.

Yes its not the 1950s or even the 1960s. We are talking a generation of people that are using the internet to form these sub cultures. It WILL break up many more marriages because of the dynamics previousy mentioned. Remember when porn was just plain not available except in some seedy bookstore? Now virtually anyone that has cable can watch porn. At some point we have had to deal with the wayward porn addict. Has the advice been "divorce him"? Nope the advice is to fix it.

The whole idea of open marriages, hotwifing, swinging is so much more difficult to fix because both are participating at some point. No one was caught doing anything like an affair or porn. Tough problem that requires some compassion for those that arrive here on MB looking for help.

PS - By the way I think the "lifestyle" term sucks to. Its all pretty slick marketing by a bunch of twisted people.

I'd never heard of "hotwifing" before. I'll look it up.

but then, I'd never heard of "hooking up" used in the context that it was describe on a Today Show interview a few weeks ago. Grody stuff.

I agree that people coming here from open marriages subjected 2 infidelity (oxymoron though that may be), are faced with a lot bigger struggle than those of us who are simply trying 2 fix our broken vanilla marriages.

But that's been my point all along. Nothing is impossible, particularly for those genuinely seeking help.

And I think they'll get it, if they can recognize the difference between hearing what they need 2 hear and what they may think they want 2 hear.

-ol' 2long

2long - When I was responding to someone the other day - forget who - one of the new swappers - I ran into hotwifing. It is offering the wife for SF. YIKES!! That was as new to me as Earthshine.

yeah, but Earthshine won't leave a rash!

-ol' 2long

LOL...........