As you know WXH and I are now D for a year now. He just got a house (don't know if he's renting or bought it, I assume he brought it b/c he is painting it on the inside but it is a moot point I guess). I guess he is planning on having OW and her kids move in with him b/c he went to her house with my children and spent the night with her with my kids present.

I called him to remind him that he and his girlfriend are not to spend the night together with my children present. Well he called to tell me that our Parenting Plan doesn't state that he cannot cohabitate when the kids are with him and that if I file the contempt charges then no judge will put him in jail b/c it did not say that he can't cohabitate.

I reminded him that no it does not specifically say that he cannot cohabitate but our Parenting Plan does say that "we are to foster a religious belief in our children and the other parent shall do nothing to create a misunderstanding or distrust in the children for the religious beliefs of the other parent" well we all know that following Christianity that the bible is clearly against cohabitation/premarital sex with someone you are not married to. And WXH being a former minister knows this so he can't plead ignorance and plus he has instilled this belief in the children before his A when he was an acting minister. Now he thinks it is okay to contradict what I have continue to instill in the children.

I know this is the norm now in todays society so my question is am I over reacting in pursuing the contempt charges against my WXH if he continues with this inappropiate behavior? Also, I have reminded him the if we have a disagreement then we are to go to mediation first to try to resolve the issue in which case until we resolve the issue "the mother shall decide what is in the best interest of the children" so there is another rule in the Parenting Plan that he is refusing to follow.

Thanks for your advice on this. I have already talked to my attorney and he said that I am within my right so he suggested the civil contempt.

Pepsi,

What are you waiting for??? Go get him. See, he, like many entitled, selfish, above the law waywards don't really believe that you will STAND UP and hold him accountable. He simply doesn't believe it. Why? Because in his mind he is perfect and anything he decides should be the way it is, end of discussion. Hold this ahole accountable and protect your children's value and belief system. Show him that you will not turn a blind eye to his crap when it negatively affects the children.

Pepsi I feel for your situation but no You are not wrong in protecting your children from his lack of moral values. Just because he doesnt see a problem with it...doesnt mean it isnt one. Its hard enough in the day and age we live in to raise children and instill in them morals, values integrity etc...I would stick to your guns...good luck.. you will be in my prayers

HAP,

I told him that I will file the contempt charges if he continues this behavior. I just thought that I will get you guys opinion to make sure that I was not overacting in this situation that I feel so strongly against that is why my attorney stated it that way in the Parenting Plan b/c nowadays it is the norm. I'm trying to teach my kids one thing and he is totally contradicting it. Thanks for your quick response.

Thanks Gabie8 for your prayers, I really need them. This just makes me so upset and sick that he will now think that it is okay to teach our children this when he was totally against it before. STUPID ALIENS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I also agree. I am in the process of divorcing my husband and this is my worst fear. I would never want my STBX to behave this way in front of our daughter. If your attorney feels you have grounds for bringing this issue forward I would definitely do so. This starts down a very slippery moral slope that seems to lead to condoning his affair to your children. I would fight, fight, fight on this issue. I would never want my daughter to grow up thinking this type of behavior is acceptable. Be strong Pepsi.

Thanks lieslies for your response. Yeah, I will definitely not back down on this issue. It is something I feel very strongly about. I don't want my children growing up thinking that this behavior is okay.

Go for it.

You MAY lose...as courts will do want they want and have tacitly approved divorced spouses moving on in what ever manner they choose as though it has no effect on the children whatsoever.

Just remember...frame your issue very specifically around the "best interests of the children". If it appears vindictive...you may lose.

He MAY just marry the woman. Then the issue really becomes moot. He could let you waste your time and attorney fees pursuing this claim and at the last minute undergo a court house wedding. But, as we all know...when they marry their OW, they create a vacancy in the mistress position.

I'd still like to see your divorce decree. From the language you describe above...you've got some pretty sneaky teeth in it. That morals clause is a good way to say "No OP around the kids" without actually saying it and making it a bigger, more contentious issue during the drafting process. Others may benefit from seeing what a court ordered divorce and custody decree looks like as MOST are afraid to pursue things to fruition like you did.

Mr. Wondering

I steal from Dr. Laura: "This is the hill you die on."

Pepsi, it is not a petty issue, is is an essential issue. And it doesn't matter so much whether or not you win in court for this. What matters is that you fight the good fight. Your kids are learning from you.

MrWondering, hey stranger!

Good to hear from you. Well my attorney made a good point about if WXH did not agree with what our Parenting Plan entailed then he should have not agreed to it. This is not the only issue that he is not adhering to but a couple of others which just makes my case stronger about him not having to follow our court-ordered Parenting Plan.

I would much rather him marry her then to do what he is doing.

I was going to post what my parenting plan/divorce decree entails but I haven't had the time. But I can black out the names and fax it to you if you would like. You are probably on here more than I am anyways so it would help more people.

I would like to help in any way I can b/c you remember everything I went thru during this whole process. Thanks to you and others here for helping me take a chance and stick it out.

Thanks Bellevue,

I am trying to fight the good fight for my kids, they been thru enough already and this will be the hill that I die on.

Funny Mr. W.....My OM's STBXW said the same thing. She said that as soon as he marries my EX WW and he has the noose around her neck he will be looking for nurse no. 25 to have an affair with. He will once again feel invincible and secure at home so that he can go out an man-****** around the office/emergency room for his next narcissitic fix.

Pepsi - imho you are NOT over reacting. You are reacting appropriately for the protection of your children and for standing for God's clear injunctions against your ex-husband's actions. It's interesting to read the he is a minister, how does he "explain" his obvious, willful, disobedience of God's commands and divorcing you for no biblically justified reason?

God bless.

Hey FH,
He was a minister, of course not anymore. I myself wonder how he explained to God why he divorced me but then again I know he is probably running from God so he don't have to explain; that is why he left the church and God all together b/c there is no explaination.