Well... Seeing as how i wouldnt usually post publically my problem it is very well something i cant handle on my own... so please people help me i dont know what to do about this...
Me and my boyfriend jason have been together 2 1/2 years going on three in Feb. we have had two children together and i think to myself personally thats the problem.. lol well let me tell you whats going on... you see when he and i first got together sometimes my very touch would give him an orgasm.. now.. its like hes not sexually attracted to me anymore it takes him forever to orgasm now and tonight i tried giving him oral and he didnt get orgasm so i just gave up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> i am wondering if its my body or something.. i had my son and then three monthes later i got preganent with my daughter and i just had her on thursday... This is the thing should i break off the relationship? i feel undesirable and it makes me feel like crap... or does anyone think that there is more to it?? or something i should do? PLEASE HELP ME I HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO... Thanks.. [color:"black"] [/color]

No, you should not break off the relationship! YOu two have two children.

Okay, so, what can you do? First, you can cut him some slack. It could be a hormonal shift as a result of age. Teenage boys can orgasm at the drop of a hat. As men age, it takes more. The same sort of timeline exists for sexuality in a relationship. AS the relationship goes on, you become used to your partner. The newness wears off. 2 years is about right. Now, let's add on another factor: a brand new baby and a one-year old. How much sleep is your BF getting? How much pressure does he feel to provide for his family?

Sex is very complicated for most women. We tend to need more lead up time, hours really. The right movie, the deep conversation, candle light, etc. Men don't need all that, so we women tend to forget that sex is complicated for them too.

Okay, so what happens if he doesn't even what you to touch him? Then you start reading up this entire web site, especially the sections about what happens when baby makes three. Babies disrupt marriages in ways parents never dream of. Men feel left out. One or both spouses are too tired for sex. Men get worried about money and may spend more time at work. Women feel scared witless and want their husband's support. Understanding the dynamics is one step towards saving the relationship.

The good news is you obviously aren't so absorbed in the babies that you have no time for him. Even if he didn't reach orgasm doesn't mean he didn't enjoy and appreciate it. FWIW, my BF sometimes doesn't but he assures me it's not me. Just as I often don't, but I still really love sex.

my boyfriend works from 5am to 9 or 10pm every day he even works weekends to make sure we have the money we need...
Everytime he wants to have sex im not in the mood because ive had a stressful tiresome day and when im in the mood he is "too tired" and then when we do end up having sex or oral he takes ages to ejaculate he was never like that before and i guess im feeling undesirable because of it.. and not to mention everytime i turn on the tv and go to the programs page i can see that he has been watching porno most days... i guess i am thinking he is grossed out my after baby body.. i mean between my ending of my first pregnancy and my most recent pregnancy was only three months i didnt even get the chance to get back the body i once had and i just had a baby on the 21rst of june... i want him to want me i suppose and i dont know what i can do about it.

and not to mention everytime i turn on the tv and go to the programs page i can see that he has been watching porno most days... i guess i am thinking he is grossed out my after baby body.. i mean between my ending of my first pregnancy and my
_______________________________


i imagine another reason it takes him so long to orgasm is becuse he pretty tapped out from masturbating.

try not to take it so personally.
if it bothers you....talk to him about it.
set a date to be intimate w/ your H...ask him NOT to masturbate before it. ask him to spend a day thinking about being intiamte w/ you instead of taking care of himself.

get yourself back in shape...it's healthier for you and you will feel better about yourself.

My husband and I have always "enjoyed" watching porn together but while I was pregnant with my son,and right after, it really bothered me. Not that my pre-pregnancy body looked liked thiers but I knew I wasn't even close at that time. I never said anything to him at that time because I knew it was my problem not his. I also knew that if I told him it bothered me he would stop. Have you tried watching it with him? A lot of men do look at their mate differently after a child but that isn't in a bad way. They have a different respect for you and sometimes feel like they can't be naughty with you anymore. Talk to him and be open. Meet in the middle.

Dude works from 5am to 9 or 10 pm every day!!

You think that might have something to do with it?!!

I sure do. This may sound awful to you but let me say that some days, when I have had a horrendously long day, masturbating is a great and simple way to ease the tension.

Seroiusly, sex with someone is usually much more complicated. You worry about pleasing them, pleasing yourself, getting tired being on top, foreplay, cuddle time, having to talk before or after.

Masturbation is all about you. No one else matters at that point in time.

Looking at his work hours, he doesn't have much time to do anything anyway. It probably takes him 5 minutes to masturbate and relive himself of sexual tension, instead of the 15-30 minutes it would take to spend it with you.

Selfish I know, but after a long tired day having to please everyone else, sometimes you just want to be selfish.

So, what am I saying? I really don't think it is about your body. I think its about him probably wanting to have some selfish time to himself and relieve tension without having to deal with all the complications of having sex with someone else.

I think the reason is lack of passion and that is normal. You live together quite a long time. Beasides, he works the whole day. Maybe he should change his job?