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I'm ROFL that they locked Orchid's thread. I have no idea why. I'm going to ask Justuss about it.

Anywho...I am quoting you from that thread:
Quote
Misdirect

Misrepresent

and then

Mock.

These are not honest behaviors.

People of good will can disagree.
With integrity.

When misdirection, misrepresentation and mockery are used,
Then I question the good will.
And I question the integrity
Of the people who persistantly choose that path.

I have watched this pattern appear on the forum.
Discussion begins.
Disagreements occur.
And then the swirling begins.
Insults disguised as humor.
Ridicule.
Mockery.
Derision.

A call out to one's fellow friends.
A flurry of silliness.
That shuts down discussion.
That distracts from the topic.

Nothing wrong with humor.
Nothing wrong with silliness.

Except when it is being wielded as a weapon.
Except when it is being used to attack.
Except when it is used to demean.
Except when it is used to discount an "opponent".

I've seen this pattern on this forum.

I also saw it in highschool.

I can't thank you enough...guess I ought to at least say it once...LOL...Thank you! Thank you! I have posted that figuring out my boundaries on posts has been like nailing jello to a tree...and you really helped me by showing the flip side of what I learned to DEAL with gaslighting...

I found out when we are commnicating with others, best to stay on topic/message. Don't take the bait. Own your own stuff and do so honestly. Oh, and one more and I can't think of it...might still be don't get off topic. LOL. I just did. I do that a lot.

Thank you hugely for being here and posting.

Your three M's...I tend to get off topic when a response to me is misdirecting me...I take the bait. Same for when my words are misrepresented...whoa, that's a stinger...and definitely when I hear myself being mocked. Now, all three of those have my half of perception...and their half of inflamatory (knowingly) adjectives.

Feeling defensive is when I'm signalling myself to one of those three M's...

Oh, what do you think of this...that silliness, humor, bluntness, care-filled wording--all the STYLES we post in are expressions of THE POSTER...

Just as CONTENT is from our life experiences, so are styles part of them, as well. Good to know when others are using derision, mocking, ridiculing...that's all about them.

Not us.

Am I getting this?

Gotta email Justuss and ask how in the world Orchid's 2x4 poll thread got locked.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

...WHILE I WAS READING IT, no less. That's too funny to me.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

LA

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A flurry of silliness.
That shuts down discussion.
That distracts from the topic.

[color:"purple"]silliness that cools off tempers and emotions ... throwing a glass of ice water on the heat ! [/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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Yes, Pep!!

"Repair attempts"...a communication tool for reapprochement.

A temporary measure taken to do what you said...cool down, change perspective...reconnect to intent...when we get messed up between content and style.

Yet, I've seen it used on "trolls" on inflamatory threads...can't remember specifically...I remember we used to trade recipes on the thread when it was, say, an active OW who was justifying why OW's are great, deserve to be treated kindly, with compassion and allowed to continue to be OW's here on MB.

Was done with humor, too. Silliness. Took over the thread and the poster stopped.

Two different extremes, though, in my perception. One is a simple statement of mockery (at one end of the extreme). The other, to misdirect and end something harmful.

The middle ground...as you said...to repair during conflict...to reconnect, level out. Between people who acknowledge and respect different opinions, when they become heated...and come back around to the topic...maybe to summarize, acknowledge differences...or explore more.

Would that be the middle one you mean?

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Quote
silliness that cools off tempers and emotions ... throwing a glass of ice water on the heat !


I agree that this can sometimes be helpful.

But my view of it has sometimes been that it was used to disrupt. That sometimes the one who injected silliness was trying to dispell their own anxiety. Or distract attention away from a favored poster who might not be faring so well in the debate.

And to the person or persons who might have been "under fire"? Well, it can come across as callous disregard and mockery.

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I LOVE ordering fries on a troll thread --- I think I invented it

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???

Quote
That sometimes the one who injected silliness was trying to dispell their own anxiety.


how would you know, unless it is yourself?

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it can come across as callous disregard and mockery


I suppose

but silliness just is

it's like intestinal gas

one way or another ... it will be released <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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Pep, I do suspect you were the inventor.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Since that 2x4 thread got locked...dang it...I didn't get a chance to post the two GREAT 2x4's I remember most when I first came here...

One was from Pepperband telling me I'd created quite an emotional soup. Made a real statement with me. Got through my fog.

The other was from JustLearning...who said I made a lot of DJs about my WH. Stunning one...saw stars, even...

I'm VERY grateful for those. Without doubt.

And I'm telling you, Pep, 'cuz you're here.

Heehee.

LA

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I'd created quite an emotional soup


I am so full of crap sometimes I amaze myself <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think I must have been watching TV at the time "Talk Soup"

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I don't "know".

I prefaced it with "But my view of it has sometimes..."

Do you think it is a possibility or is it totally inconceivable?

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I don't "know".

I prefaced it with "But my view of it has sometimes..."

Do you think it is a possibility or is it totally inconceivable?

I turn on my sillyness (mostly) when I am NOT anxious (like now)

complaining about silliness in a place where we deal with daily trauma and pain ... is just silly
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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but I can't speak for you graplin ... do you manage your anxiety with sillyness?

if you do

I approve <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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My thoughts, Grap...(thanks for answering your loudspeaker page, btw)...

Does it matter if it's done from anxiety, orneriness (is that a word?), or malicious intent? Would not the question be that's done...how long it goes on, if other posters aren't being responded to while it continues for pages...so length or duration, versus intent?

I'm allergic to DJs now...so I get presuming intent, as I perceived Pep questioned...

I'm going with people do and don't here...not judging why. If they say it's their repair attempt, I can choose to believe it or not. My perception. Just as keeping it going on as an anti-troll tactic is usually stated, "Let's bring out the barbeque...gotta recipe here for..."

Again, I'm trying to find the lines and you seem to see them starkly.

What do you think of the two extremes and the middle ground I mentioned?

(I believe the middle ground as an MB technique.)

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I turn on my sillyness (mostly) when I am NOT anxious (like now)

Except to me, what you are currently doing doesn't come across as happy silliness.

It comes across as feigned silliness with a pointed edge in my direction. That may not be your intention, and I'm quite willing to accept that I have misinterpreted.

Quote
complaining about silliness in a place where we deal with daily trauma and pain ... is just silly


Who's complaining? Misdirection noted.

Pointing out that silliness can be used to mock and demean isn't complaining.

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I'm ROFL that they locked Orchid's thread. I have no idea why. I'm going to ask Justuss about it.

Well, I have suspected all along I was a thread killer. Now I know for sure since I was the last one to post on her thread.

Hope I haven't jinx'd this one too. Brace yourselves.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

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One time

I was attending a very somber serious medical seminar

and the woman I sat with is a very good friend

we got sooooooooo silly we had to leave ... we were heaving with laughter and tears were running mascara down our cheeks ... people were turning around to stare <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

the more we tried to suppress ourselves, the worse it got

Do you remember the Mary Tyler Moore show?

There was an episode where she attended the funeral of Chuckles the Clown ... a classic attack of inappropriate silliness ...

*HERE*

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Quote
Well, I have suspected all along I was a thread killer. Now I know for sure since I was the last one to post on her thread.

Way to go, JO!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yeah, and I'm taking it personal too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> NOT

My apologies for the threadjack.

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Quote
I wrote:
it can come across as callous disregard and mockery

Pep wrote:
I suppose

but silliness just is

The context has bearing:

Nothing wrong with humor.
Nothing wrong with silliness.
Except when it is being wielded as a weapon.
Except when it is being used to attack.
Except when it is used to demean.
Except when it is used to discount an "opponent".

Quote
it's like intestinal gas
one way or another ... it will be released

If so, can you make sure it's pointed the other way...? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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Pointing out that silliness can be used to mock and demean isn't complaining.

that's true

Are you complaining about MB silliness?

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