Post deleted by 2tired2try

2tired2try - Why do you think God gave humans His commandments? For His protection or for our protection? Remember this, 2tired, God let humans "do it their way" prior to the Flood. Moses came long after the Flood and long after the "next go around with humans" began with only those who KNEW God "really is in control and is the one true LORD." Moses came long after Abraham, when God first "intervened" despite our nature as human beings and "set apart" a "people" for Himself. Are commandments "just a set of stodgy old rules" or are they protections for us given by a loving Father who does not want to see His children harmed by "wrong choices?"

You still don't appear to see this as a sin against Holy God, and therein is the real saddness.

But I don't get the impression that your belief in God is much more than an "only when it's convenient to me and in sync with what I want." If that should change, and you do want to get serious with your relationship with God, feel free to post and ask for some help in that area.

Why would I say that? Because it is it equally obvious from what you have posted that you have never truly forgiven your husband and have retained "what he owes you," despite what God has forgiven you or perhaps in spite of what God has forgiven you, so that it can be used as a justification for your own sin.




A "broken and contrite" heart is not what I hear here. You may be "sorry" that you've been caught, but you are not repentant.

So you continue to fool yourself with statements such as this. You may APPEAR to be "innocent" (aka a wolf in sheeps clothing, the devil masquerading as an angel of light, etc.), but you know the truth, God knows the truth, this man's wife knows the truth, we know the truth....and you know that your husband WILL also know the truth....it's only a matter of time.




This IS the "point." You did NOT "behave." As Jesus said; "I tell you the truth, if you look upon a woman (applies equally to women looking upon a man) with lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery."

You are in denial and continuing to lie to yourself and to God.

The reality is that neither one of you has "ended" it, not really and not correctly. Trust is gone. The friendship is gone and only awaiting the final nail (your husband learning about what you and the OM have been up to). NO Contact for the rest of your life. But you don't "want" to give up that contact, do you?




And exactly the same is what you think about your own husband, right? You have had your revenge on her and on your husband....so how does the revenge feel?

Hypocritical? Just how does God view your relationship to Him as Christ's bride?

2tired2try, if you want healing and a CHANCE at saving your own marriage, isn't it about time you stopped "playing" at being a Christian and started actually being a Christian who follows her Lord in humble obedience instead of playing the part of a modern day "Eve?"

Or is your final statement the truth about what Jesus did for you, even though you were lost in sin when Jesus "did it anyway".....In the end, not worth it? To Jesus, you were, and are, "worth it" for all He endured for you. But maybe He is not "worth it" to you, is that the real issue?

God is reaching out to you 2tired, because He knows you need Him. Will you take His hand and let Him lead, or will you slap it away and continue sinking into the quicksand simply because the ooze "feels good" or because you are too full of pride to need anyone else?


One last thought, even if you do reject God's help. Consider the truth in this well-worn statement: Two wrongs do not make a right. Hypocrisy? Just another rationalization that still does not make it right.

Will you let God help you to restore your walk with Him and to restore your marriage?

Do you really want any help from anyone?

Remember, Christ DOES go looking for believers who have gone astray, but when it says He leads them back, it also means that they willing follow Him instead of "doing their own thing" in continued rebellion.

God bless.

Post deleted by 2tired2try

2T2T,

Yes, you should come clean. And you and you BH should get some serious MC to put this all to a true recovery for both of you...whether you're still together or not.

2tired, do you really understand the difference between being "sorry" and being "repentant?"

I don't think so, or you wouldn't be asking these questions.

What did Jesus tell Peter?

"If your brother sins against YOU, AND comes to YOU and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

What is the advice that is given to ALL Wayward Spouses regarding confessing their "secret affair" to their spouse? Only in cases where it might lead to violance are WS's advised to not tell. In all other cases, the advice is "confess."

Are you afraid that your husband will not forgive you? If he is a Christian he has no choice but to forgive you because that is a command of God. There WILL be consequences and you MAY need to begin another recovery, this time from your affair. But you are both going to have really learn what forgiving each other means, especially "forgiving as God has forgiven me for my own sins."

"What good would come of it?"

Romans 8:28.

But then you would have to truly believe what God says.

Until then, you will continue to put your own thoughts and feelings ahead of God and His clear commands and teaching. That is not "God first," that is "me first" thinking.

Think about it.

God bless.

SHE is not the one who has caused the problem in their marriage and the potential impact it might have on their children.

SHE has a RIGHT to a divorce because she is the Faithful Spouse in this situation that you and the OM brought into each of your respective marriages.

Again, this is an indication that you are "sorry that you got caught," but it's not true repentance. Remember, God does not forgive "I'm sorry," He forgives heartfelt repentance, because God (unlike your husband, and only until someone tells him why the OM and his wife are divorcing) cannot be fooled.

God bless.

Post deleted by 2tired2try

2tired, please tell your husband that if he wants some help and support to sign on to MB. That may be a problem if you will also be using MB, but you'll have to make the call on that.

Remember, you need to be certain in your mind that you want to recover your marriage and that you are truly repentant. It is past time that you both need to surrender your lives to the Lord, but that too, will be up to each of you.

Just read on another board a post that looks to me like his wife. Had to delete everything to be safe. It may all come out anyway, but it would suck to be discovered this way.

Sorry!
2tired

Then do it yourself, like a grownup. I'm sure you don't want to set the example of sneaking around hiding stuff for the rest of your life.

i'm new to the board. i was just looking around and found this thread. it really touched home as it is very similar to something that i've been dealing with in my own marriage.

it looks like this is a very helpful board. your input is very appreciated. i hope 2tired comes back as i really want to hear what she has to say about how it ended. i don't want my marriage to fall apart as it appears hers is.

YMEN07 - let me strongly urge you to post your story on the General Questions II forum, and any questions you might have concerning your sitation or what to do.

There is much more "traffic" on that forum and everyone will try to help you as best they can.

As a "tack on" or sometimes called a "threadjack" of someone else's thread, your post will get lost and you won't be getting the type of help you obvious want and need.

God bless.

Here's the truth. It wasn't his wife, it was my H that was on to me and discovered everything by reading this post. Very hard to deal with having him read my inter-most thoughts.

He was more upset over my feeling toward our marriage than with what happened between me and OM. In some ways it was good that he read it because it verified that I was not "in love" with OM and we didn't have sex or come close. But I hate that he discovered it this way and that he saw how truly unhappy I was with him 3 year after his A.

He has been very kind and trying to be understanding. He wants to work on our marriage and I think recognizes that OM was only a sympton of how I really felt about my marriage. I have some tough decisions to make (none of which include OM...haven't talked to him and I'm not just saying that because I think my H might read here again).

All I can hope is that God uses the baring of my soul about my marriage for good. Maybe now that my H really knows how I feel we can move forward. I can only hope. Dealing with good days and bad days.

I grieve my actions and the people I've hurt and embarassed. I do not know what my friend knows, but our friendship is over. I've had to deal with that and deal with the reason why I was able to do this to her.

Don't know if I'll be back, but wanted to give you all the truth of what happened.

2tired

2tired,

My best wishes are with you and your family. I'm glad your H is willing to work with you to pick up the pieces; may your/his efforts result in a stronger, joyful marriage.