It has been a lousy Saturday. Nothing really bad but just a depressing feeling all day. <BR> Had pictures developed from some film laying around and some we had taken of the baby. The film that had been lying around, well H had taken that camera to work and guess who popped up in most of those pictures? Right OW turned my stomach. I'll send those pictures to him. I get two prints of each picture so I guess I'll let MIL see the OW, she has kept asking me what she looks like now she will know.<BR> I'm planning to make a picture album of the grandchildren and send it to him.<BR> I was reading a thread about why H can't make up his mind. Really got to me I wish H would have that problem. I guess he made up his mind when he left. No contact in over a month.<BR> Now I have to change his mind. This will be a difficult plan A. I don't even know if he gets anything I send him. I have sent a card with a picture of the two babies, I 've also sent a letter which I told about on another thread. There hasn't been time for any response but I really don't expect any. <BR> I guess my goal is to keep sending him reminders of me and our family, let him know I still love and want him, and then hope and pray that he gets hit full force with the reality of what he has given up and decides to come home. <BR> I have been reading so many books about affairs and how to get your lover back and how to keep from going insane. But I am beginning to think I am going insane by reading all thes books. They don't help because I feel like I'm at a stand still. I'm just treading water. I have tried to move on and in some ways I have. I know when I get a job things will be better. But I see no improvement in my marriage or lack of one. I guess nothing is better then H filing for a divorce. Plain and simple I want my H back NOW I want us to be working on our marriage. At this point I'm not sure that will even happen. I know I can't give up and I don't plan to but it is sure hard when I don't know what is going on in his life. That is hard because until recently I knew everything, we did things together and I thought we talked. I'm still not really sure what needs I didn't meet. I think he is in full midlife crisis. And I'm not sure anything will help that.<BR> I guess this is my venting time. I'm just so FRUSTRATED I COULD SCREAM!!!!!!!! Hopefully I have blown off some steam. Sorry this is so long <P>------------------<BR>di<P>

di,<P>I'm with you tonight. I just kept myself as busy as I could since my w had the kids for a visitation today. <P>I agree whole heartedly that <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Plain and simple I want my H(W) back NOW I want us to be working on our marriage.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> and <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> I think he(she) is in full midlife crisis.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Feel free to blow off as much steam as you like... I think that is why we are all here after all. Misery loves company... <P>But hey... how about a little <P>Jim

Weekends are the worst! And, unfortunately, slow here. I don't have good advice for you, just wanted you to know that there's someone here who cares.<P>Vent all you want to.<P>Lori

Thanks! Weekend are slow everywhere. I remember a time when they weren't couldn't even find time to catch my breath but that was then and this is now. I'm tired of not being able to do something. I don't know anyone here and to do something with my daughter we have to take the kids. I love them but I would like to do something without them for a change. Still griping.