Hi I am new and glad to be here. My second marriage lasted 6 years and we were in love and compatible physically and very good friends and loved our intimacy. The biggest problems were I was insecure as her family was as demanding for attentions as me. Also I was honest and faithful until a 50 K loan was lied about to me for 6 months.There was a couple other lies about money after that too. It was to get her 16 yo daughter into a singing career. This hurt me very deeply and she didn't treat my kids as equals and I will be honest I was jealous of them getting more attention than me. I am working on healing that and learning to be satisfied with the many blesings she gave me and beink ok with who she is, which is pretty good all around. Well, I was threatened with divorce over our blending problems and for me not being nioce to her and her family many times. I was being belligerent and needed to just have unconditional love which i am returning through getting in touch again with God.
Finally I became convinced the marriage would end and although didn't want it to I got online and met a gal one time for dinner and that was all. My W found out and it was over. My w and I still slept together until the day we divorced ( I was 90 miles away but went to her place many weekends). After the divorce I dated alkot and her a little ( she waited longer). I always mised her and we started dating a year ago but I was still angry blaming her not as much as I should have been accepting my mistakes and working on them.
I got a feeling maybe I should move on and she caught me dating when I should have been only with her per our agreement. We broke up then re-united. Well she was struugling with moving to whjere I am now which is only 3 hours away from her family who she is very involved with although I know I would let her go mas much as she wants to see them as I know I am accepting them and her relationship now.
I became worried she would decide not to move here although she hadn't made the ultimate decision yet. I went back on the singles site but put no picture ( I was lonely and bored having no family here) and she figured it out and caught me online again.
She said it was over but then I found the Relationship Rescue book and told her the problem is all me not her and am working diligently on it everyday. Well, she finally communicated again with me and asked why i let it happen and why I didn't just communicate. We had cut our visists back to almost nothing as she lives 3 hours away and is arranging a weding for her daughter next week so I support her in that and know she is very busy and needs to focus on the wedding. She told me we are best friends and lovers and she still loves me and feels betrayed but she was glad I am working on things and she bought the book and said maybe we could work on things while we have a break and see how she feels after the wedding. I finally let her have her space and quit being needy and am not calling her until after the wedding. Does anyone have any advice and does it look like I have a chance? I love her with all my heart and am going to really work on me through counseling,books and practicing how to find both our emotional,physical, social and security needs and become in toiuch again with my inner core and God. She is also going to counseling for her enmeshment with her kids and is also admitting her family has some problems too. I believe she is trying to work things out but am afraid I love her and love being with her and want to grow old together.
I have been praying for two weeks about us and although I never dream I prayed again alst nite and I had a dream we were happy and together and her daughter was friendly in the dream too. Maybe that was ananswer or a really strange coincidence.
Appreciate any comments with humbleness and introspection from those comments.

First off, kudos to your efforts to try to patch things up with her. I hope she recognizes it as a genuine effort on your part, as it sounds to me a sincere endeavor.

You have to recognize too that it takes two people to rescue an M or an R. You've been caught on a number of occasions while trying to meet people online out of loneliness. For you it was just that, loneliness. For her, it's cheating...and a reason not to feel comfortable with you or trust you.

It's not all you, either. She had no business lying about the money. Her relatives are also stressors in your relationship. In the end, you both have to work things out together and agree on certain parameters in your M. She has to put in some work too, if she is sincere about fixing your M.

You mentioned she has a 16 year old daughter. How many kids have you got?

Hope you are keeping yourself busy throughout this situation...it can't be easy dealing with all of this by yourself...sometimes work can be a refuge, if you let it.

Thank you so much for the reply. Yes, I did it out of lonelines. I wish we didn't live 3 hours away and I wish I had let go of some of the hurt and anger when things were still good for us. What is an M and R ?
I thought about it so much and right now she is not making a good living but she put out the money to go buy the Rescue book and said she would read it so I feel that's a really good sign. I don't think if she was really not wanting us to work she would even bother with that. I have a daughter 16, son 19 and daughter 21. My first grandchild is on the way. I am lifting weights and doing cardiovascular exercises at the gym, reading and trying to make some new friends.