hello again

i just got something to say to vent I do still have hope that my M can still be saved and if w can get over the past we can have a better r then we ever had I am so deeply in love with her and my family is the most important thing in my life I am resenting myself for alot of the things that I have done to her I truly wish that I was the one that she wanted but she says that I am not and haven't been for a long time I feel like a vise is closing up on my heart and soul .


I have another problem that may be alot deeper is it wrong of me to want her to be happy even if it is with another man that is how i feel it would crush me but her happyness meen's more than my own feelings i guess that is me putting her first in front of my own needs

Many have told me it is quiet on the boards when I would post on weekends.

I just want to encourage you to keep posting.

As far as her being happier with someone else. The way I see it, you both took vows for better or for worse. Marriage isn't really about who makes us most happy. Marriage is about being committed to a relationship and family even when we aren't "happy". Happy, sad, glad, mad. These feelings come and go.

I do take my vows very serious I would not ever break them for another person I have made my mistakes in this M but I am only human I am commited to making our marriage stronger but she says it is to late that all hope is gone I wish this was just a tough point but i don't think she is interested in making it work but on one hand I don't really blame her on the other I know i can make her happy if she only let loose of my past failures and neglect I miss the look of love in her eyes has been gone for some time she is so buetiful to me inside and out I care so much about how she feels about things but I was a fool for taking her for granted she needed love and affection that was one thing i use to have a hard time expressing I do love her unconditionally and can see us growing old together but it is kindy unlikely at this point but out of all this i am becoming the person I was always ment to be .

Thank you for comment and I glad i found this place but i needed this place along time ago

Hello,
You have indicated that there is an OM in the picture. Who is this OM? Have you exposed the affair? You need to find out about OM and expose the affair and also do the Plan A. Plan A will not work well if she is in an affair (either an emotional affair or a physical affair) without exposure.

Do you know who the OM is? Does she still have contact with OM? Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Does she work with him?

I don't have any evedence to expose just phone calls that i have seen off the cell bill, I really feel that she is not still envolved with this person if she is then i guess the less i know the better because i am tired of feeling jealous i am speaking of a few weeks ago Yes it comes back
I was never really the jealous type but what woman wants a man that is over jealous. I am just living my life
and trying to be the best person i can and show her how much she means to me never was good at that in the past I always acted like i didn't care but I was just scared to tell and show her but those are the things i did then and ill have to live with those actions

All I can do now is show her that I am so committed to saving our M and ill become the person that she always wanted me to be although it might be too late I feel that it will make me the person some one could fall in love with and stay in love with I have hope that every thing happens for a reason and my wake up call happened for a reason what that is i have not figured out yet

any advice or comments yet would be appreciated things are about the same not much is changinging except me but i am having good days and i am likein this thank you

we went to a MC i think it might of helped she said some things I already knew such as we need to spend alone time doing recreational things and have fun but i believe my w thinks what is the point i think it will help us understand why we are the way we are in our R and just make life around the house a little better because i some how think we lost each other becausee of m in general we took each others ambitions and wants for granted then it seem to get worse when my d was born we had no time for us not that we had took the time for each other before


I hope we can still keep getting along i would love to spend time with her i love spending time with her but she I feel she dislikes spending time with me unsure why i wish it was different but wishing is prolly only a dillusional thought of what i want any comments

I beleive that has passed but she says she may always be looking for the grass being greener thank you for ure post

I don't think things are going to be better I am just living I want things to be better than they ever were but she has given up on us so I am doing things that express how i feel about her I have hope that we can recover but I am afraid hope won't be enough I have made my bed now i have to sleep in it to many years of neglecting her needs so i don't blame her for feeling the way she does

Update

Things are still the same with her calling this other guy I have told her that I do not appreciate her doing this but she seems to not really care she says it it is nothing but there is more to it than that or she would not be calling when she knows , If it was nothing she wouldn't have to run off to the bathroom after her phone rings and mysteriously no one there I did see who it was she is hiding I am getting to the point of just giving up it has put me in a state of depression but it is gonna make me do every thing in my power to get my things in order Maybe med would numb me so i feel nothing gotta be better than this

I suggest you see your doc and get some meds for depression. Then go to a dark Plan B. You need to let her know that phoning the OM is not acceptable, and she will need to move out.

Then go very dark and let her get her needs met by OM.

working on going to the doc to bad they don't make a drug for changeing you to what some one wanted. thank you for you post Beleiver.