Wow, I wish you luck. Six weeks eh? I wonder if I can hold out that long.<P>I don't get my H at all. He says he's still attracted to me but that he gets upset from the tension around here and gets too sad to want sex. I cannot believe I'm hearing this from a man...it sounds like a woman to me.<P>Still, I'm going to press on with it. LIke you, I can't take the rejection and loss of pride. <P>We'll see how it goes. God grant us patience, indeed.

Cristall1,<P>Six weeks ago I would have bet I couldn't make it this long. I have very strong urges - so I am amazing myself! <BR>I chuckled at your comment about your H sounding more like a woman <P>One thing that has surprised me reading various threads is how many women seem to have a stronger sex drive than their husbands. My dream come true! Oops - gotta be careful...thoughts like that don't contribute much to patience!

Hi 2sad<P>I think we should form some sort of mutual support system to keep this plan B going <P>I came up with it as a last resort, after having tried everything I could to get him interested again. Now we'll see if plan B jogs his memory and gets him going, or is a big bust. If it's a big bust, I'll know it is because he really doesn't want me that way anymore -- which he denies vehemently.<P>We'll see. All I know is that I am determined this time. No one deserves to live with this. If his bad feelings and guilt and pain are causing him to be uninterested, why doesn't he get himself to a counsellor? I think it's too unfair that we have to suffer from the fallout of their lack of affection AFTER they've done something so awful to us i.e. having the affair. What a slap in the face. The least they could do is to get themselves some help...I mean, I am not a trained counsellor here. I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing with Plan B, but I'm out of ideas and it seems like the only thing I CAN do.<P>Anyway, let's stick with it and see where it goes

My H had an internet affair as well. Fortunately, he ended it immediately and we've been working through all of Dr. Harleys books to rebuild. However, even with all the best intentions the pain of it still pops up at the worst moments. Unfortunately, my H is deployed on the other side of the world for the next three months and the thoughts of everything he did come far too often. After reading what you had to say, I told my H that yes, I would be having terrible moments for the next year and that he will need to be ready and supportive when those moments come. I think he owes me that considering that was the length of his internet affair. I'm so grateful to have people to talk to about this and realize that everything I feel is normal and will go away someday. Thanks.

C.<BR>I posted on this thread early on but had to post again when I saw that it had turned to the subject of sex. My H had an emotional affair in which he said (in so many words) that he loved ow, she was his soul mate and so on...funny thing is, right after his confession, our sex life improved immensely-he wanted to do it more than ever-sometimes three times a day. Of course, I was more obliging than I have beem since our honeymoon days. Anyway, almost nine months later, it is still good. What bothers me is that he seems to want to do it right after an argument about what has happened, or when he knows I'm feeling the pains of the betrayal. I wonder how he can expect me to want to do this now. I just keep telling myself maybe its his way of trying to re=connect. OF course, maybe he just doesn't care about my feelings as long as he is satisfied. <P>He has claimed in the past that he doesn't feel romantic desire the way he should for me but certainly has no problem desiring sex from me. Is that strange or is it me?

crystal/allyoop:<BR>need your advice, Im the betrayer here. now that imhonest with my W, should she be honest with me? she is not and I need toknow am i supposed to expect this? my counselor says, honesty is absolute and she needs to be honest with me too. I need a woman perspective.

crystal/allyoop:<BR>sorry, my Q, had nothing to do with your problems, I just need a womans perspective. here i want to talk about everything honestly and she doesnt want that. i dont know how you ladies put up with it, but i wished some of it would rub off on my W. <BR>just wanted to let you know your in my prayers.