I will add more detail later (only have a couple of minutes right now) but there's a situation brewing I need some suggestions on how to deal with:

One of my married sisters had/has an inappropriate 'friendship' (EA) with my WXH. I doubt that her husband is aware of it and doubt even more that he would believe me over her when I tell him (which I plan to do).

This particular sister has some issues related to her sisters' boyfriends/finaces/husbands. She seems to want assurance that they are attracted to her sexually, flirts, and in the case of my WXH, talks to him on the phone a lot. If anyone complains about her behavior she says we're 'jealous' and that she's totally innocent...

Well, some time ago she was having a disagreement with one sister and instead of that sister's husband taking her side he stood up for his wife. She then blurted out that he had molested/raped/taken her virginity at a young age! Over the years she has maintained this is true even though she has had considerable trouble keeping her story straight from one telling to the next. Details such as the age this happened at and the place the family was living when it happened have been changed a few times... Also she had previously told some sisters different tales of how she lost her virginity: the first boyfriend that she had... or MY old boyfriend that I dated 5 years before meeting my husband (this is something that I just learned of a couple of years ago!) And I don't really care about the old boyfriend NOW of course, BUT the last time I saw this sister, visited her the week after our dad's funeral, she kept bringing up my old boyfriend, said she knew where he worked, and kept suggesting we go visit him! I made it very clear I was in no way interested in looking him up. She finally quit asking but was obviously upset that I wouldn't agree to go see him. I just thought it was really weird. (At the time I knew nothing yet about her having been involved with him in any way)

During the same visit she started talking about the BIL who supposedly took her virginity, right in front of my daughters. She seemed to be demanding that we believe her and was getting very angry that we weren't saying anything. Then she started talking about how this BIL had 'seduced' her by getting her drunk and then telling her that if she had sex with him that he would marry HER, and have babies with HER, instead of her sister... THIS is what she called being 'raped' or 'molested'... Later I discussed their aunt's outburst with my daughters and THEY brought up how it sounded more like she had consensual sex (granted at a young age, 14-16 years old depending on which version of her story) and that if the BIL had broken his engagement and married her instead she wouldn't have had any problem whatsoever with whatever it is that really happened...

As I already mentioned there are many things which make her story difficult to believe. One thing that everyone in the family noticed was that she never had any problem being around this BIL before she accused him. She openly flirted with him, felt he was safe enough to leave her own young daughter at his home, and didn't behave like she was afraid of him... until he took his wife's side that day... Also, since she claims she was drunk when this happened, I would think she would not want to drink... but she does drink - daily.

Well, shortly after my sister blurted this out in front of my daughters I left her home and continued on my trip (to visit another sister, some relatives in another state, and then on to yet another state where we were going to spend the winter. But when I left two of my daughters refused to go with me! I didn't leave the state without them, the sister's house who was next on our trip only lived 30 minutes away, I kept in touch with those two daughters by phone, and a week later they agreed to let me come back to get them. But by then the wayward sister had contacted my WXH, told him some fibs (including that I had dumped my kids)! Also she had wanted to take my daughters to an bad area of town, that happens to be a tourist attraction, but is littered with strip bars, drug dealers, and prostitutes. I said no but she took the two daughters who remained with her anyway. She also bought them very skimpy bikinis (one with the Playboy logo for my youngest daughter).

There's MORE, MUCH more...

Anyway my current situation is that she has been communicating with my youngest daughter via MySpace. Youngest daughter is going with my WXH to visit his relatives and go to a wedding. They live in the same town and my youngest daughter tell sme that she and WXH are planning to go visit her when they are there...

I am concerned abot my daughter being under her influence, know she will try to talk my daughter into staying with her, and don't want my daughter to witness anything inappropriate going on between her and my WXH. This sister's husband will be away on a business trip at that time too...

I am planning on sending a group e-mail to her, the family, AND her husband making known my concern and disapproval.

OK, suggestions?

OK, so here's some more details:

This sister seems to have some issue with once a male is involved with her she keeps in touch with him to assure herself that he still has some sort of feelings for her, even if he has since married (even if he has married one of her sisters). She has visited heer first boyfriend, the one she gave her virginity to (according to one version of her story), several times over the years. Even after everyone in our family moved away from that town she still goes back to visit from time to time. He is married with kids and I heard the last time she visited him in person he told her his wife was jealous of her because they were having a private conversation in the front yard while his wife was standing in the doorway... She said that since they were each other's 'firsts' they had a 'soul-tie' that his wife didn't understand...

Also, she liked to bring up in front of my husband and even my daughters how I was supposedly a 'such a slut' when I was a teenager but SHE was a 'good girl'! She describes the way I dressed, and things she presumed I did. Even though I have corrected her misperception each time she brought it up she persists. There was one summer when I was living back at home while going to college, engaged to WH who was working in Saudi Arabia. One of my sisters and I were taking disco dancing lessons for a college P.E. elective. THREE times during that summer the students from that class - ONLY the gals - not the guys - went out dancing together. One other sister who was not in the class went with us too. We didn't drink a drop, we didn't let any guys sit at the table with us, and we didn't even dance with any guys. In fact our group was asked to leave once because some of us weren't buying drinks (this was before you could get free sodas by saying you were a designated driver) and I think the fellas were maybe complaining that we were being rude to them by snubbing them LOL. Anyway this sister, who was too young to go with us, had apparently assumed we were getting drunk and picking up men! BTW getting drunk and picking up men eventually did become one of her favorite hobbies... No matter how many times we try to tell her what really went on she still tells her version to anyone willing to listen AND uses it to try to make herself look pure by comparison AND to excuse her exploits (because we set such a bad example for her).

It's interesting to note that although she has five older sisters, plus parents who weren't exactly strict or setting a good example, she has singled out only two of her sisters to portray as 'sluts': the sister whose husband supposedly took advantage of her and me...

She has a fixation on wanting to influence her neices to follow the same shameful role model we supposedly were to her, hopes to influence her neices to behave badly. We think she does this to either be vindictive and get revenge and/or in an attempt to vindicate herself (if her neices do the same things she does it will make her behavior appear more normal or 'pure' by comparison?)

She helped one of my neices, who was living with my parents, run away from home because my mother wouldn't let her take that neice bar-hopping with her! The neice was only 16! She tells my daughters they're old enough to do things I say no to and tells them I did those things at that age. She invited ALL the neices to come stay the summer with her (none did as far as I know) She had tried for a couple of years to talk my middle daughter into coming and staying with her for a while. And she also has mentioned several times that if she stayed with her she would take her to bars. She has been in contact with my youngest daughter behind my back via MySpace and is planning a get-together with my daughter and my WXH.

My WXH is planning on having youngest daughter visit him for a month and I'm worried my sister will talk WXH into allowing daughter to stay with her instead of WXH for the whole month.

Her husband will be away on business for three weeks and most likely doesn't even know my WXH is coming to visit her.
As far as I know her husband is also clueless about her having continued contact with my WXH.

I want to conact her husband, by including him to recieve an e-mail I am planning to send to her and the family in general. I want to inform that I am aware of her agenda, am opposed to it, think she needs to seek some Christian counseling, and will do what I can to protect my daughter from her.

(But I am not sure WHAT I can do to protect my daughter besides sending the e-mail objecting to her plans)

First thing you'll be told is to expose her plans to her H. That one is easy. That will put a huge stop to her plans.

Second, you need to limit her contact with your kids.

Third, if you have the ability to do so, I would not let your daughter go on this vacation and would certainly go to your lawyer with your reasons why. If you truly believe she'll support illegal behavior such as underage drinking, then you need to bring your lawyer into it and it is likely that you can get an emergency order preventing the trip.

Forget the relationship with your sister right now. Your daughter is more important and tough love is what's called for right now.

Your sis sounds like someone who has been abused or molested. Her behavior is consistent with this. Get professional advice on the issue.

Your kid's well being comes first. To he!! with anyone else who disagrees with that, including your WXH and your crazy sis.

You need to take a stand and go to your lawyer about your concerns. They can get an emergency order to protect you daughter. You'll have to justify it, but you'll likely get it. Of course, it helps if you have proof.

"First thing you'll be told is to expose her plans to her H. That one is easy. That will put a huge stop to her plans."

Actually I have no contact info for him that she doesn't also have access to. In spite of her claims that MY concerns of her goings on with my WH , and then WXH, she is VERY controlling and jealous when it comes to her husband. Also, he travels for his job a LOT and will not be there when she plans to have my WXH and daughter visit.

Also, when family members have tried to talk to her current husband about related issues he always defends his wife, claims they have no secrets, and simply refuses to believe us.

I do plan to include him in the e-mail I send to her and the family to confront and object though in any case, just doubtful it will help much.

meremortal..

you got bigger issue to fry than your sister...

But when I left two of my daughters refused to go with me! I didn't leave the state without them, the sister's house who was next on our trip only lived 30 minutes away, I kept in touch with those two daughters by phone, and a week later they agreed to let me come back to get them. But by then the wayward sister had contacted my WXH, told him some fibs (including that I had dumped my kids)! Also she had wanted to take my daughters to an bad area of town, that happens to be a tourist attraction, but is littered with strip bars, drug dealers, and prostitutes. I said no but she took the two daughters who remained with her anyway. She also bought them very skimpy bikinis (one with the Playboy logo for my youngest daughter).

THIS is insanity..

they are YOUR daughters....

you take them with you
period
end of any and every reason you can come up with..

you don't leave your daughters with crazy sister and then write letters to the family complaining about her behaviors and actions...

you launch this letter now prior to xwh trip with daughter you are declaring war...and the fall out will be with the daughter and the others till the end of time....

YOU go with your daughter to the wedding/visit
YOU go with your daughter to sisters house..
be polite
be nice
and the second it becomes innappropriate you jump up and say it's been lovely dear..we have to go now...

and you get you and your daughter out...

I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever let this woman alone with my children....
ever

all the other stuff..
the he said
she said
the BIL did
the BIL didn't

drama drama gossip heresay
etc etc etc

you protect YOURS

children may refuse to leave verbally...but that don't mean they ain't a leaving...

it makes sense...no?

you can't leave your children with the she-devil then complain about the she devils actions...

you put your children there for her fodder...

block the myspace account or make your daughter TAKE IT DOWN..boo hoo for daughter...there's a bigger force of evil at work here...

no more
not again
no letters
no speaking of sister to others
no contact...

go and visit the same time daughter is there...

ARK^^

Amen Ark.

I banned Myspace in my house - at a hardware level.

You need to put an end to this Meremortal.

"Second, you need to limit her contact with your kids."

I haven't had anything to do with this sister since the incident after our father's funeral. She lives in another state, I don't call or e-mail her, didn't send her Crhistmas card, etc. She has my e-mail and snail-mail address, I'm guessing she got it from a relative. She sent a graduation announcement for her step-son and recently she started including me in group e-mails she sends to the whole family but I didn't respond. I just found out about her having contact with my daughter via MySpace. I've talked to my daughter about (some) of my concerns. But daughter just turned 16, is well aware that in our state she can move out at 16, and in nay case she will be going to visit this sister during a trip to see her father.

"Third, if you have the ability to do so, I would not let your daughter go on this vacation and would certainly go to your lawyer with your reasons why. If you truly believe she'll support illegal behavior such as underage drinking, then you need to bring your lawyer into it and it is likely that you can get an emergency order preventing the trip."

I am trying to find out what my options are but so far haven't found a way I can stop my WXH from taking her to visit her aunt. Because of boundary issues and false accusations with WH, resulting in mediation over visitation, I requested that the visitation with WH be at my daughters disgression (as opposed to him and/or OW having control of it - WH wanted me to FORCE daughters ot visit him AND for me to come along for visitation too - OW wanted to PREVENT WH from seeing his daughters and when he did she tried to monitor/stalk/limit) WXH lives in another state now and rarely sees his daughters because of that anyway. So I didn't anticipate this particular problem coming up. As far as my sister's agenda to lead her neices astray, I KNOW my WXH will not back me up and will just tell his lawyer that I'm lying and too strict. WXH has a history of never taking my side against ANY woman, let alone one who might rewrite the history of their involvement as 'molesting' her.

"Forget the relationship with your sister right now. Your daughter is more important and tough love is what's called for right now."

My daughter is my #1 priority. And in all honesty I had pretty much given up hope that my sister might be reasoned with and convinced to change her ways. I haven't had a relationship with my sister in a couple of years and didn't think she would dare to do somethign like this. But I guess she's figured out that her husband and my WXH will believe her over me so she feels safe in contacting my daughter and WXH with an invitation...

"Your sis sounds like someone who has been abused or molested. Her behavior is consistent with this. Get professional advice on the issue."

The family certainly is in agreement that this sister has some deep issues and would benefit from professional help. We have tried unsuccessfully in the past to talk without success. Some family members just avoid her while others just try to avoid certain subjects with her... I am seekign professional advice with this but wanted as much feedback as possible before deciding what to do.

"Your kid's well being comes first. To he!! with anyone else who disagrees with that, including your WXH and your crazy sis.:"

I totally agree. I have absolutely no doubt there will a very hostile reaction to whatever I do to protect my daughter but know I must do something anyway.

"You need to take a stand and go to your lawyer about your concerns. They can get an emergency order to protect you daughter. You'll have to justify it, but you'll likely get it. Of course, it helps if you have proof."

In the state I live in if WXH and OW were still together I wouldn't even be able to protect my daughters from having to meet the OW, let alone stop her from visiting a relative during visitation with her father. I have already talked to my lawyer about this sort of thing. I have no proof of a PA between my WXH and my sister, and no proof of her agenda to negatively influence her neices - it would just be what I and some other family members say she said...

What kind of contact has she had with your daughter on myspace? Are their conversations innocent chatter or more sinister? If she is using myspace to have inappropriate conversations with your daughter that may be all the proof you need to get a RO. Just a thought.

LL

You can block her ability to contact your daughter through myspace - so do it.

You seem to be forgetting - you are the parent! At this point, your daughters seem to need to understand that there are issues with this sister. It is not appropriate to leave it to your daughter's discretion to make the decision as to her contacts with this woman. The woman is clearly toxic to you, and is doing things to actively poison your relationships. She does not understand limits, and has crossed boundaries with you and your children. It isn't up to the children, regardless of their age, to establish those boundaries - it is up to the adult parents to do so.

Kids, especially teenagers, tend to believe that people who are doing things outside the norm of society are "cool". Especially when those people do things that their parents find upsetting or not within the family rules. That's why this sister bought the swimsuit with the Playboy bunny on it - because she knew it would be something you would NOT approve of, and the kids would find that cool - it is done to undermine you. The kids are not in any position to stand up to her, because she is an adult, and they are not grown ups! They don't understand these manipulations, nor can they handle them. Think about it - YOU are here asking what to do.......can you imagine what they are thinking?

Decide what you will and will not accept. Tell the children what those limits are.

Then, enforce them. Get up and leave the situation when this sister crosses the line, and TELL HER WHY outside the sight of the children, AFTER YOU LEAVE WITH THEM. Send her an email later, or make a phone call. Because you are setting the limits and letting her know them, you make the call. If she argues, which she will, you state simply, "I am a parent, and I have to make the best choices I can for my children. This is my choice. I know that you are doing the best for your kids, and I do the best for mine. Please respect that." Thank her kindly, and end the conversation.

There are no arguments with this. Tell your ex that the rules are the rules - and tell him why.

She has serious issues - and the reason underneath isn't yours to question. Whether someone took her virginity, molested her, or otherwise, her actions NOW are affecting your children. If she needs help to deal with the past, she can go get counseling. If she brings up the virginity thing again, or anything else that you find outside your boundaries, tell her that you feel uncomfortable - and that because she has talked so much about it you think maybe she might want to talk to a professional about it. Leave it there. From that point on, it's hers!

This is, of course, my very humble opinion.

SB

"THIS is insanity..

they are YOUR daughters....

you take them with you
period
end of any and every reason you can come up with..

you don't leave your daughters with crazy sister and then write letters to the family complaining about her behaviors and actions..."

The rest of the family is already well aware of this sister's agenda. After all she's had this agenda for over a decade now. I for one had stayed away from family get-togethers for a decade (before that we planned a family reunion every year and those of us that could afford to go would go). Every time I was invited to a family get-together I would tell the family, including this sister, that I preferred to visit family members individually instead of when they were together in a group BECAUSE previously this sister had only done her "We all need to talk about this for closure" bit at those family get-togethers. I didn't want my daughters to be exposed to that and didn't want feuds to spoil the visits to see family members. In fact, although I had heard plenty about this sister's stories from other family members (the show-downs she had turned family get-togethers into), she rarely said anything to ME about it (when she did I did not respond).

But when we were all together for our father's funeral she made a promise to us all that she would never again bring the subject up with us, that she finally had 'closure', Christian healing, etc. And for the whole week we were all together for my father's funeral there were no problems. My daughters and I were headed for Texas to spend Thanxgiving with my father's brother and his family, then on to Oklahoma for the winter; she and another sister who lived near each other in Florida wanted us to come visit them first for a week or so each. Once we got to this sister's house she tried to talk us into staying thru Thanxgiving instead of visiting the other sister and the relatievs in Texas. We politely declined and said we wanted to stick to our original plans, repeatedly. She also brought up going to visit an old boyriend of mine (from the early 70's) I said no and thought it was weird. Sister was becoming increasingly agitated that I would not go look up old boyfriend with her and would not agree to stay thru Thanxgiving.

I was waiting for X-husband to deposit support money into my account so I could pay up on my car insurance, put gas in my car, and continue trip. After sister's outburst I told daughters we were leaving the next day so start packing all their stuff back into the car. Two out of three daughters thought I was overreacting, had decided THEY wanted to stay until Thanxgiving... I argued with daughters, packed the car, demanded they get into car, but they refused. One of those daughters was 18 and there was nothing I could do to force her to come with me. The younger one I basically would have had to call the police to force her to come with me - an action I thought at the time would be extreme. I was not going very far away (sister we were visiting next was nearby) and also my daughters were scheduled to go out to dinner with my WXH's family so I knew I'd be taking my daughters to meet up with them at the restaurant anyway. AND when I talked to my WXH about it he did not back me up and thought I was acting like a "crazy ******" to have even had a problem with what my sister did. Apparently, after insisting that we stay, and talking my daughters into staying instead of going with me, this sister had contacted my WXH and told him I had 'dumped' my daughters with her. My daughters did inform their father that I did not 'dump' them, that their aunt wanted them to stay and that they refused to go with me. (he didn't believe his daughters over her either) She knew damn well I was adamantly opposed to them staying, tried to make they go with me, was nearby, was coming back to take them to meet up with WXH's relatives, and was refusing to leave the state without them! Also, unknown to me at the time, she had been calling my WXH behind my back while I was at her house, and he had told her to give me the message that he had gotten an advance on his paycheck and deposited the support money in my account early, so I wasn't aware that I could have left her house several days earlier before her outburst even occurred. When I went back to get my daughter a couple of days later their aunt again tried to insist we all stay...

"you launch this letter now prior to xwh trip with daughter you are declaring war...and the fall out will be with the daughter and the others till the end of time...."

Actually no matter what action I take, my sometimes rebellious daughter, non-supportive WXH, and crazy sister will spin it against me - that is one fact I am certain of. I am carefully considering my options before taking action and my #1 priority is my daughter and trying to prevent HER from reacting in a typical teenage rebellion manner which would ensure she would choose to stay with this aunt for a longer visit.

"YOU go with your daughter to the wedding/visit
YOU go with your daughter to sisters house.."

My daughter is going to visit her father for a month and during that visit she is going to visit her father's relatives and to a cousin's wedding on her father's side of the family. I am of course not going along with my daughter for visitation with her father, not invited to go to Florida to visit his family and to wedding in his family. My sister lives near his family and has invited him and daughter to visit her while in town (and while her husband is away on business).

"be polite
be nice
and the second it becomes innappropriate you jump up and say it's been lovely dear..we have to go now...and you get you and your daughter out..."

I have no intention of visiting or socializing with this sister until she gets help and proves for an extended period of time she really has changed this time. I have had no contact with her since she pulled her sick act two years ago when I DID get up and leave.

"I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever let this woman alone with my children....
ever"

I have no control over my WXH allowing my daughter to visit her. I am planning to contact her husband to make him aware of what she's planning and intend to make it clear in writing I object, and why I object. I will make sure the proper authorities are aware of my objections but I have no legal way of stopping WXH from taking daughter there. I've been told my concerns would be called 'heresay' and would have to have proof of her actually already taking a minor to a bar and buying them beer to do something to prevent the visit. Also, where I live, my daughter is old enough to choose to move out and go live with her aunt if she wants to.

"all the other stuff..
the he said
she said
the BIL did
the BIL didn't

drama drama gossip heresay
etc etc etc"

I totally agree and for over a decade I was successful in keeping my family clear of that mess. It's my sister's drama - not mine. If she had not promised the family that she was thru with bringing it up I would never had gone to visit her and my daughters would have never been exposed to it. I honestly don't know what to believe about her allegations (let alone which one of her stories is the truth) and absolutely refused to listen to it or support/believe her story du jour.

"you protect YOURS"

Agree - but I am constricted to what is legally and logistically possible for me in doing so.

"children may refuse to leave verbally...but that don't mean they ain't a leaving..."

It took a few days of talking to my kids on the phone to convince them to leave her house. Daughter assures me that if she goes to visit this aunt with her father, that I shouldn't worry she won't agree to stay there... but I worry about how adament this sister might get and how compliant my WXH might be to appease my sister. I'm basically worried that my sister and WXH will talk my daughter into staying or maybe even insist she stay. And if I get too adament myself in saying she can't go there it will only increase the likelihood she will go and stay as an act of rebellion on her part. Plus my sister will spin it to my WXH as me being mean to her and my WXH will sympathize with my sister and be even more likely to pressure my daughter into visiting and staying...

"it makes sense...no?

you can't leave your children with the she-devil then complain about the she devils actions...

you put your children there for her fodder..."

I assure you I wish that I was physically able to drag my daughter to the car and MAKE her leave with me, I also assure you that even my youngest daughter is much bigger than I am, and when in a rebellious mood would like nothing more than to get physical with me. What I regret most was going to her home in the first place, believing the promise she made to family that she had reformed. I also now regret not calling the police to see if they might back me up on making my daughter leave with me. At the time though it seemed extreme, I was not going far, I knew I was taking them from there to meet up with their father's relatives the next day (those relatives then postponed for a few days) and I planned on simply not taking them back to her house after that. I was trying to get my daughters out of her home in a less jerry-Springer way, which I did accomplish a couple of days later.

"block the myspace account or make your daughter TAKE IT DOWN..boo hoo for daughter...there's a bigger force of evil at work here..."

I will block my sister's access to my daughter's MySpace account. Can I do that without my daughter knowing I'm doing so? I would prefer that my daughter do so but she doesn't seem to understand the seriousness. And anyway daughter has internet access whenever she visit with her father that I do not have control over.

"no more
not again
no letters
no speaking of sister to others
no contact..."

The letter to all is to put my objection to sister's agenda with my daugther in writing, to expose to her husband, to warn of what action I will take (among the subset of actions I CAN take) if she persists. I am not saying that the letter is the ONLY action I plan to take. IF there is anything else I can do without it backfiring and launching my daughter into going/staying for spite, I will do it. I am also trying to figure out what course of action will be the most EFFECTIVE and not wanting to simply react out of anger or fear.

"go and visit the same time daughter is there...'

Not an optin for many reasons. I have however contacted the other sister that lives nearby and she has suggested I provide my daughter with her phone numbers, e-mail address, etc. should my daughter decide she wants to leave before her aunt is willing to let her go. If daughter does in fact go (if I am unable to prevent that) and the time of visit is set this sister is also willing to go visit at the same time to monitor situation.

Your situation is difficult for sure. I totally agree with asserting your parental rights here in whatever ways you can. Some suggestions:

Family counseling with yourself and your minor daughter, 18-YO if she agrees. Find a counselor who can help you all with your relationships with each other.

IC for you and your daughter.

Speak to a family law attorney who is experienced with modifications of custody agreements and is willing to fight. Too many lawyers are bent on settling rather than fighting, so screen for that.

Watch for illegal/immoral activity around your kids and document in a journal each and every event in your own words. Date/time/witnesses, etc.

Follow your instincts; if you feel you need to call the police to enforce your parental rights, do so. Tell your daughter that if there is ever a time when she refuses to leave with you again, you will not hesitate to call them and that she will lose all privileges for a period of time. Tell her if she DARES get physical with you, the consequences will not be pretty.

Above all, follow through on consequences. If you one time fail to deliver a consequence to a broken rule, you will lose credibility with her.

Also, start reading. There are some great parenting books out there that can help you think through this situation. In my opinion, your best bet in solving this is to get your relationship with your kids straightened out and get them on your side.

Good luck to you.

Update:

About a week before daughter was scheduled to go to Florida with WXH for his nephew's wedding, my middle daughter told me younger daughter had told her aunt that they wouldn't have time to visit her since WXH's family had made lots of plans including going to St. Augustine...

Then just a couple of days before the trip my other sister who lives in Florida alerted me that the strayful sister had called her to ask if she could babysit her kids over the upcoming weekend so she and her husband could go to St. Augustine... (Apparently she had forgotten she had already told this sister that her husband was going to be away on business for a few weeks and of course she didn't know that we knew she'd been contacting my daughter and planning on having her and my WXH come to visit her.) Second sister told the strayful sister she'd be too busy to babysit.

The morning my daughter left I talked to her and told her again that she did not have my permission to visit this aunt and that I objected to her aunt contacting her behind my back. I told my daughter about her aunt's attempt to find a babysitter so she could go to St. Augustine and my daughter was pretty creeped out by that. Daughter then revealed to me that the aunt had told her she wanted to have a sweet sixteen party for her and her own daughter and take them to a concert... My daughter promised me she would not go to visit this aunt and would block her from her MySpace account when she gets home (WXH no longer has internet access where he lives - YAY!) Also, daughter said when she told WXH about aunt's invitation to visit he was surprised because (according to him) he hasn't talked to her in a "long time"... He doesn't have the same cell phone number or e-mail address he had when they last had contact that I know of... I asked my daughter if her aunt has her cell phone number and she responded: "Oh he11 NO!" My daughter says the aunt was only contacting her via MySpace.

So for now anyway it appears all is well.

Still I will not hesitate to contact her husband if she starts up again and may do so anyway.

My guess is that when my daughter blocks her from her MySpace my sister will send out an e-mail to everyone in the family complaining about that. And I will find out then whether she still has contact with my WXH because she will for sure turn to him to complain about me.

BTW, I said nothing about any of this to my WXH because I KNOW if I did he would just side with my sister and be even more likely to take daughter to visit her.