Why don't YOU go to your husbands pastor and let HIM know..He should be able to say something to him..especially if he is a member of the church..as it reflects on the entire congregation..

Something else you could do..is join the church if your not already a member..and they would also be YOUR pastors..
I know someone who did that..and the pastors went to the husband and the OW...the OW wasn't a member of the church, and they wouldn't allow her to join either...she was mad. but she stopped seeing the married man and eventually moved away..and he was under church discipline for awhile..but they eventually got back together...as the church began to hold HIM accountable for his actions...to his wife and his kids...

my guess is he may be going to church to look good in the eyes of the courts. he wants to be able to say he would raise his children in the church.

i have always gone to church with my kids, my ex did not. it worked in my favor that my kids and i did that. now all of a sudden, the last year my ex has been taking the kids to church on the sundays he has them... just so he can say he takes them too. he does not go when he does not have them but goes when he does.

as far as the moving, just try to put it in the agreement. if ex says no, let the judge decide. i DOUBT the legal guardian would be any help there. she is not going to say it is in the best interest of the child to move 2 hours away. i just don't think she will. unless your ex agrees it will come down to what the judge decides.

mlhb

Make sure you understand the difference between joint & sole custody. As you said, many states are moving toward joint custody, but they break it into 2 pieces. Joint legal and shared residential custody. The first - legal - is about decision making. The second - residential - is about who has the kids and when (ie. how the time is split).
In my state, joint legal seems to be the default.

i have joint legal custody and placement is with me. that is how they would do it in ny state. placement means that they live with me the majority and he gets visitation.

VERY RARELY do parents get sole custody. even in my sitch with my ex living with ow AND being arrested for harrasment against and the kids and having a RO against him, i still could not get sole physical custody.

mlhb

We have joint legal custody. Without it, if read in the strictest sense, the non-custodial parent would not be able to authorize medical care. However, I have primary care/residency and my decree is written so that I can make all decisions regarding children HOWEVER I must keep their dad INFORMED regarding major decisions. I do try to involve him in major decisions but my only requirement is to INFORM him. But, if I involve him, I have greater cooperation from him.. I think it is better to deal with the dad when he has had a chance to be heard and to understand the process for making the decision.

To which I would probably agree...

however, if she contacts the pastor and explains the situation, and even joins the church, those type of
things would come out, and the pastors would know..if he's only going to 'look good' in the eyes of the court, or if he's going because He really wants to live his life for Christ. Matthew 18 addresses this issue..



I've pretty much always gone too, except when I was trying to please him and not understanding true biblical submission. and it's funny, my ex constantly tells the kids "you need to go to church more" yet he quit going years ago after the elders in the church went to him, and called him to account on some things he was doing..he didn't want to hear it..and stopped going..

Now, when he makes those comments to the kids, they just role their eyes at him..and say "yeah, dad whatever"

The thing is, they do go...and he knows it..he's just trying to make himself look good to them by telling them they need to go...but it only works against him..

We had court last week and my H is not following the court order. My lawyer said that it must be followed whether verbally understood or written. My H said that he doesn't have a court order so he shouldn't have to follow it. He hasn't paid me child support yet, he was late picking up my son and is not allowed to take my son inside his residence (which is with the OW) and I videotaped him today for proof that my son was in the apartment. The judge needs to sign the order and it will be signed on Monday.

Anyway, my husband is screwed no matter what he says in court regarding church. He is excommunicated from our church due to previous affairs while we were married. If he says that he is going to church to try to get his membership back, then my lawyer can simply say that it is against the church to be committing adultery or even breaking the law of chastity to get his membership back. He is not following the church guidelines. Then, he if says he doesn't want to go to church and not a member of the church, then he looks bad in court cause he is obviously not trying to instill any values in our children and totally gone astray.

I want him to go to church for him personally. I want him to change for the sake of our kids. This OW could only join our church if they get married cause they are breaking the law of chastity and one of the requirements for baptism in our church is that you live the law of chastity. I heard some nasty stuff about this OW my H is with. She pretty much is a prostitute. She has been with married men before and a friend of mine said that she caught her with her fiancé in bed and that she has slept with most of the men in our small town.

I thought to tell my H but he probably has heard it all yet he is still with her. It makes me almost gag that my newborn child (I am due to have my 2nd child in 6 weeks) will be around this women. A baby, so pure and innocent that I have to give it to my H one day and this scant. I am just trying to protect my 4 year old son and my newborn. I don't know if I'll get sole custody but you better believe I will try. I just want to protect my children. I am the victim, my H left. He should have no rights but unfortunately he is their father.

Suzanne, in most cases adultery doesn't matter and the judge likely won't even look at your video tape.
And church really doesn't matter either to the courts.
Keep doing the best you can for your children. Keep trying to meet the courts determination of visitation (even if he doesn't) and continue to act in good faith.
Take the high road.
I wonder what the judge has said about visitation for the unborn child. For newborns, they typically are not sent for overnigth visitation, but you should clarify that with the judge.