I have another thread regarding "needing help moving on"

I was wondering if anyone ever went to a psychic or talked to one on the phone.

I've heard of a few people that have and it helped them.

Maybe if a psychic could tell me that she sees this or that, then it might help me know that this is what will or won't happen with me and ExH, and I could move on.

I know it's way out there, but I really don't know how else I can move on unless I know what is in store for me.

I saw one years ago when I was in college. She was accurate on a few things regarding my immediate future.

I'm sure some psychics are nut cases, but we have a place here in town that I hear is pretty reputable and they have psychic fairs every so often. There are also phone psychics I hear.

I don't know, any thoughts?! (other than I'm grasping for straws!)

catgirl,

I think your best bet is to accept how things are this very moment, today. EVery morning, when you wake up, accept what todays reality is.

You don't need a psychic to tell you that you are divorced. You don't need a psychic. YOU need to begin letting go. There is no easy way to do this, but it will be one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.

You are looking for someone to tell you that your husband will come back to you. Nobody can do that, and how long do you intend to sit around waiting for that?

Catgirl, I say none of this to harm you, but to have you see how far you have gone to STAY RUTTED in the same place.

YOU are responsible for your happiness. NO one else is. Only you can make it happen.

Instead of turning to a Psychic, couldn't you perhaps turn to God?

Do you have a church that you are going to?

Send me a huge check and I'll tell you your future.....

I can see your bank account getting smaller.....

See how easy that was.

catgirl...

I beg you not to go to a psychic...I don't know whether or not you are a Christian, but even if you aren't I can assure you that a psychic will bring you no peace...The stuff they tell you is straight from the bowels of He[i][/i]ll...Some truths mixed with lies...It is a way to open yourself up to all sorts of evil...

Basically you want to go to have them tell you what you want to hear...I know because I did it and it was one of the stupidest (and most dangerous) things that I EVER did-I am a Christian and it is completely against everything that I believe in, but I did it during my wayward time-ACK-you don't want to do something that a foolish wayward did, do you? NOOOOOO!!! And it was CREEPY...and I got some definite truths but more lies than anything (to give you some idea, she praised the OM and told me how very evil that Mr. W was! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />)...It scares me to death to realize just how close I sat to Satan in doing something like that...Just as there is a light side, there is DEFINITELY a dark side...That is a playground that you want to steer FAR, FAR away from...

Please don't go that route...

Mrs. W

Catgirl. Please don't spend your hard earned money on a psychic. This is where I feel you need to draw the line. You can see what this is doing to you. Don't waste anymore of your life this way. Moving on and accepting what is, is not contingent upon what will or will not happen for your Ex-H. You need to do this for YOU. You are the only one who can do this. No psychic can give you answers that will allow you to move on. Someone else suggested prayer, I would agree. Pray for the strength to move on, for the acceptance of what your reality is.
Watching and waiting for the other shoe to drop where your EX-H is concerned, is a waste of your own valuable life. Please remember, everyday and every hour that ticks off the clock, are hours and minutes of YOUR life. Decide if this is the way you'd like to live. Do you really want to spend the rest of your existence like this? It really is a choice. There is no magic pill.
I am sorry for your pain. Please try to gain some perspective here, this is YOUR life.

Cat - Depends on whether or not you want to open the door for the devil to lie to you and oppress you.

So, catgirl, are you saying that you are looking for direction in life from Miss Cleo?

If you need an outside influence to get moving, and your IC isn't working, why not spend your $ on a life coach?

Good post, silentlucidity.

PK

THREADJACK...

YAY, PK remembered her password! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I blame everything these days on middle age! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

PK

Good Plan...I LIKE IT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

i know you are desperate catgirl, but NO ONE knows the future period. even the bible states that.

psychics are not for real period. it is a crock of you know what.

take care of YOU, work on YOU. so much wasted energy spinning your wheels on your ex. the reality is not all affair relationships break up. my ex has been with ow 3 years now. my kids tell me there may be talk of marriage. my father married his affair partner, and they have been married going on 20 years. i am NOT trying to be harsh, but i am not going to blow sunshine up your butt either and tell you every affair relationship ends because it is simply not true.

your life, your happiness should not, cannot, depend upon whether or not his affair works out or not. my family will even tell me "oh, you know your ex and ow will never last" and i am like " i could care less if they do last. he is not my problem anymore" and i don't care.

can you find a healthy outlet for the time you are spending thinking about your ex? part time job maybe, or volunteering. our problems become very trivial and put into perspective when we see others who are really dealing with some tough stuff. volunteer in a domestic violence shelter, or a homeless shelter, places like that. i know for me, that kind of thing really puts things in perspective for me.

not trying to be harsh cat. i have been in your shoes believe me. not over my ex, but over the ending of a recent long term dating relationship. get out there, out in the world, and start living. (((cat)))

mlhb

Thanks all,

I "know" I am wasting precious time and energy over my ExH.

I guess like mlhb said, all I have heard here and from family/friends is that pretty much all A's end. Plus with the age difference, all I heard was that no way it would ever last. Well guess what, it has. I keep hearing that and hearing God will take care of him in th eend, waht goes around comes around etc., etc. I guess I'm wishing/waiting for it to happen and it hasn't.

I want him to suffer/hurt like I have been.

I do have a part time job. Keeps my mind occupied while I'm there, but once I get back home, my mind starts wandering and i start thinking about how things used to be, and how I'm sleeping alone and he's not. Kind of hard to keep busy 24/7.

I "was" very religious until all of this happened. Now I rarely go to church. I know God is not a genie and you just can't ask for something and he grants it to you. But I prayed for hours on end. Went to see my priest, nun you name it, for guidance. What did it do? Nothing. He never came back. ExH is not religious at all, yet he got what he wanted.

Yeah I know, God has better things in store for me, he knows the best life for me.

I guess I'm tired of hearing all that too.

Maybe "I" want ExH back to be happy and not someone else that God has planned for me.

Sorry to be such an a$$ and so stubborn, but I guess it just finally hit me when I found out that ExH and OW will be getting engaged, is that all everyone has told me just hasn't happened and probably never will.

Guess that's why I went so low as to consider a psychic, to have someone tell me the future so I can for sure know if I am wasting my time pining away for him or not.

Cat it's only been a year right? He has most likely a 4% chance of seeing 5 years. Most affairs end inside 2 years.

Just chill and be still

Big,

I'm really not sure when they met. They met at work. According to OW's ExH, he thinks they most likely met 10/05. They've been living together now 18 months.

Talking about getting engaged, probably for Christmas.

Hey, you're not a psychic are you?! (LOL)

hahahahah

Glad at least I could make you laugh. (((Cat))) I know it hurts.

Yeah you did make me laugh...thanks!

I just pray you are right about the stats.

Maybe I'm just looking for an admittance to the A. He never did. Or remorse, none of that either.

He feels like in his mind the M was over anyway, so why not mess around.

Plus I'm having a hard time dealing with his family and OW's family accepting their R. His family LOVES her, and vice versa. ExH is just a few years younger than OW's parents! How can they accept that?! If that were my DD,
I'd give her some words, that's for sure! Can't they see that he destroyed his family by his actions?

They all accept it like it's no big deal he cheated. As long as he's happy. He was/is still very respected at work. Don't they dissaprove of things like that? I guess not.

ExH takes her to work functions. Don't people talk that she's young enough to be his DD?! Does he not care what people think?! As I said he worked hard to get a good reputation in the business world.

Guess I was brought up different.

Cat - it's all a typical reaction from stupid people who know no better. They see it as noble being neutral or supportive as long as "x" is happy. Your unhappiness if of no concern to them.

It's only a matter of time till he or she cheats again you know.

it was a hard pill for me to swallow as well when ow's family accepted him into the fold as well as his family finally just giving in.

i do know her family disowned her for a while over her cheating on her brand new H with my H. but they do love their daughter and my ex can be very manipulative. i am sure he told them he knew it was wrong and was remorseful but loves their daughter and that our marriage had been over for years blah blah blah. i suppose if you want to have your children in your life you come to a point of acceptance.

the age difference really does not matter much to people these days. they may snicker behind his back joking that he is in a mid life crisis or something, but other than that, people really do not care. my ex's ow is younger as well and he walks around like it is his trophy on his arm. whatever.

bottom line is, whether their affair lasts or not, whether they cheat on each other or not, really should not matter to you.

maybe move your part time job into a full time one?

google a book called "when your relationship ends". it also comes with a work book. i think that may help you.

i have seen both sides of the coin. i have seen affairs not last, and i have seen them turn into long term marriages. no one really knows if one will last or not. and is not worth wasting time thinking about it.

mlhb