I'm with ML, what IS your story BA? Maybe if you shared your own stuff, people would understand where you're coming from. Why ARE you here? You never respond to anyone who asks you the hard questions. Why not?

Are you trying to help people recover their marriages? It doesn't seem like it.

Just as I thought. You're still posting tonight but ignoring the hard questions put to you.

This person (BestAdvisor)is *******and should be IP banned. Until that happens all posts should be deleted by staff as soon as they come across them.

Just click on the report post ICON. I'm sure Justuss will take care of it sooner rather than later.

*bump*

I have reported ****** to the mods, but unless and until anything is done about this *****, I think we should tell her targets to just ignore her.

She is targeting the most despairing cases and telling them to "move on," and other bad advice that is contradictory to MB. She showed up here 2 weeks ago and started harrassing the most despairing cases, labeling herself "best advisor." She clearly knows nothing about Marriage Builders, and her only intent is to confuse and cause doubt to folks who are in the depths of despair. She is going after the most tragic cases. She is a shark who smells blood in the water and wants to take a nip out of our newcomers.

That's why I haven't put he/she/it on ignore b/c he/she/it does seem to be targeting people who are really hurting and to make sure that those people know what BA is really about and not to listen to it's "advice".

Good point, PM....thanks for posting this. (BA probably thrives on this attention, too.)

Yep. That and the blood of small rodents.

Look *****Advisor, if you are gonna be here posting, at least tell us how you've come to be able to advise people who are in these situations...Have you ever been a BS/WS/OP??? What are your credentials??? Are you male or female??? What brings you here??? Why do you feel it's okay to post your "advice" without knowing anything about MB principles???

Btw, choosing not to post to this thread speaks VOLUMES about you...So, c'mon, I DARE YA...

Mrs. W

You think her posts are bad here you should see BA's posts over on loveshack.

here's just a short example of a recent stellar post she gave to woman that's about to meet her WH for the first time after he's moved out for 3 weeks----> ***** ADVISOR

Sure...WH is going to break down and beg for wife to take him back.

Other posts there were equally contrite and worldly. Click on her name to search for a few.

Seeing that she first started using this name at loveshack it's no wonder she actually thinks she's a decent advisor. You should see some of the drivel they call advice over there. She was able to jump right in and feel very comfortable there so her reception here, no doubt, is shocking to her. Loveshack gave her undeserved confidence.

BTW, I don't post there. I only found BA there by googling her name and linking in.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - didn't ladyjane post here at one time???

Leads me to really think hard that BA and MM are one int he same.... *****************EDIT************...

Good sleuthing Mr. W!

It's very obvious that BA is not about marriage building.

It's also very obvious that she/he/its not geniune. Otherwise, why hide behind the screen name? Why should anyone listen to what she/he/it says if she/he/it won't say WHY she/he/it feels qualified to be called "best advisor"?

Sheesh...

tomk,

I do not think Madmax and BA are the same.

From what I can discern. MM's first language is english. She at one time claimed Australia as her home but when she was referred to as a "Shiela" (which is just a endearing term used to describe Australian women in general) she responded that my wife was "harsh".

BA, on the other hand, does not have a natural grasp of the english language. She has tense issues with the English language quite similiar to those demonstrated regularly by persons of Asian descent. She was a lot more careful here with her english versus over at Loveshack. Her posting times seem to indicate she is living in the US (on the west coast). I'd guess Washington state.

Admittedly I am going off recollection of madmax. I don't recall tense issues or any clue English was not her first language. I also have compared posting times to see similiarities.

Mr. Wondering

I've heard stories. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I've read a bit more on Loveshack and believe that Bestadvisor is actually legit just misguided.

She posted on loveshack and to her...seemingly was helpful and accepted. Unfortunately, the forums there are a lot weaker and less experienced so nobody called her on anything she said because they all had no clue.

2long and Ladyjane seem to be the only voices of reason over there.

Anyway...BA gained confidence there first and came over here with the same bravada of an "experienced infidelity advisor". She didn't bother to read the MB principles...why should she...she already knows what she's talking about.

The jury is still out about whether or not she actually has experience in the world of infidelity. It is possible she was another woman at one time or just had a long term boyfriend cheat on her for awhile and the love triangle continued for a bit. She has SOME limited understanding of how affairs work from some personal experience. Heck...could even be her mom or dad that cheated and are now divorced and miserable.

Mr. Wondering

2long said he had entire posts deleted, and when he enquired why he got no answer.

I was there once a couple of years ago (only read for a few days), and I have to tell you, I saw very little wisdom and a whole lot of enabling. But, I might be a little biased. This is my first forum ever read or posted on. (have one other that I posted on for quite some time after coming here).

Anyway, yes I agree BA seems more misguided and less troll like to me.

And really that's okay, because it gives others a chance to jump in and clarify, denounce or affirm. The person being posted to then gets to see the reasoning behind the MB concepts.

And then the misuided one learns as well why what they are saying is not the best advice.

That's the way I look at it anyway.

I must have missed MM's posts that were objectional though.

BA very much is a *****:


But it doesn't matter to me if she meets the strict definition of troll or not, what matters to me is the harm she is causing on this board.

She is specially targeting the newest, most dire cases and confusing them by telling them negative things, such as they should "move on." So instead of being able to help the newbie understand and implement MB principles, forum members are put in a position of having to DEFEND MB principles from some jerk, self appointed "best advisor," who knows absolutely nothing about MB.

That is not productive, but DISTRACTING at a critical time in a newbies life. Oftentimes, she makes comments that unneccessarily bolster the newbie's greatest fears, such as whether or not the marriage is hopeless. BA will tell them to "move on." The newcomer doesn't know that BA hasnt the slightest notion about MB.

It would be much better if she went to the general denistry board and gave out "best advice," where the members are not so fragile. It matters not to her if she even knows the program about which she "advises" so it wouldn't make any difference there eihter. But she would cause as much harm over there because there is much less at stake.

Aha! Now I know Mr. W's real identity-Detective Robert Goren!

You mean there is a definition for internet troll? Wow, that almost blows my mind. I must still be living half in the stone ages, Mel.

But you don't think "intent" or lack of, matters?

Nobody should give advise on this board without understanding MB, but I have trouble thinking of someone who is not operating with malintent as a troll.

We differ there a little.