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Joined: Aug 2007
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No problem here.. I totally understand the concern and am not at all offended by the request to stop.

Course nothing has been said there that can't be said here anyhow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Besides.. might encourage others that come after to read the stuff.


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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Thanks JT,

Oh wow, I didn't realize it was only for 90 days. That will come up so fast.

It does help, I just am really nervous to do this.

Do you think getting a job, close to home so I could take care of the kids will help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

This is so HARD....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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I think so, but I'm not a lawyer.

Oh, plus, you will get a set amount of child support for your son until he is 18 or graduates from high school (whichever happens last) and possibly support through his college years if he is in college. Our state is very big on protecting the kids.

And the amount is set in the worksheet. It is based on the standard of living that your child is used to having, not on your WH's current situation.

It's an eye opener for some of them. Plus, the support enforcement office is a real pit-bull in the state. If he is late paying you at all, you go to them, and the state takes it from his paycheck.


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Oct 2007
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This is absolutely true!!! I have been letting myself be lackadaisical about this and have found a friend on the board. It is nice to have someone to talk to, but I have noticed that it is a dangerous situation. I am going to have to start limiting our talks so that I don't allow myself to lose love for my wife, because she won't talk to me. Be very careful, I just started noticing this recently and I think that it isn't too late.

Ryan.

Quote
SG and James,

I agree with Mimi. I do have email contact with many people here at MB. I made a commitment right up front that any woman who emailed me for off line help would be required to either supply her husband's email address or other email of someone else, preferably a male, on this board as an accountability control for both of us. All of my emails must go to her AND someone else that can keep us both accountable and hers as well. SG, you already knew this about me, didn't you?

Especially when we begin to commiserate with each other over our marital troubles, we make ourselves way too vulnerable. We're giving without getting anything in return all the time and when ANYONE starts meeting ANY of our ENs, the slope is so slippery that it is impossible to stop the slide once it begins. This is how lots of affairs begin, by two people sharing the problems they were having with their spouses.

This is why the ability to PM other users was shut down BTW. It has already happened here on MB. There are other cases in the works right now in all likelihood. As Elmer might say, "Be vewy, vewy careful."

Mark

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JT,

Thanks for the information.

I feel WEIRD inside. I'm exhausted and don't have the fight in me right now.

Considering ALL that's happened today, is this normal?

What could be happening?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 6,643
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James,

True...

And there unfortunately will be others.....

G-d is very busy these days.

Hey My Skins won!!! Did you hear?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
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SG-

Great news about your skins <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What you are feeling is normal-in the sense that what you are going through is not normal, so it is stressful for your body and mind-and stress like this is draining.

Our bodies actually produce a chemical when we are under stress that floods our brains and blocks our ability to do things like learn and remember, to keep focused and organized, and it also drains our energy (and that "fight" you had).

One of the best ways to try to combat it is to exercise-just walking for a short amount of time can reduce your stress levels.

I will be praying for you to have some peace tonight as you enjoy your sabbath and another night of Chanukah.


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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JT,

Tonight is our Chanukkah program at synagogue and I sing in the choir. So I am happy about that.

I realized that when I was so upset earlier today I asked G-d to remove my obsession of WH and put me on MY ROAD to recovery.

Where I could think of nothing else but Plan Aing and figuring out HOW to get HUBBY home, it's gone?

Is that truly possible this fast?

SG


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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I am very grateful to G-d for their win last night.

That team NEEDED something positive.

But we lost our quarterback for awhile I think. That isn't so great at all.


Last edited by skinsgal; 12/07/07 06:54 PM.

BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Hey My Skins won!!! Did you hear?

I heard...Nothing like playing Da Bears to end a losing streak.

Last year was a lot more fun around these parts.

Mark

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OH no DOUBT.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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How would YOU go about INVITING him AND making it clear that he is NOT to bring her?

"We want YOU there with US..I'm counting on you not to do anything to RUIN this tournament for our son." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Remember..INVITE..with NO EXPECTATIONS...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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The inviting with no expectations is NOT a problem.

Won't what you just wrote, make him mad?

Especially since it's the WH I am dealing with?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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And should I CALL him or EMAIL him knowing that I might INTERRUPT them.

He is off work now.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Mimi,

Wait, I just reread what you wrote.

I as HIS WIFE, would just call to remind him that MS has a tournament and I wanted to see if he needed the schedule. I wouldn't have the guts to say anything about ruin anything.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Won't what you just wrote, make him mad?


Remember this is ALL ABOUT YOU...

What do YOU want?

If you as the MOTHER of your SON think that he might bring her, then you do need to protect your youngun..

I was trying to think of something for you to say to make sure that does not happen. If it was my son, and my sons indeed used to play in sports tournaments, bringing the OW would definitely ruin it...

Just invite him and don't mention her if you think he will not bring her..


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I wouldn't have the guts to say anything about ruin anything.


What do you have to be afraid of, SG????

HEAD UP..CHEST OUT...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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YOU are RIGHT!! What I WANT is for MY HUBBY to be with HIS FAMILY enjoying the tournament as a FAMILY.

And I am PROTECTING our FAMILY from the MONSTER.

I will do it.

Thanks......

HEAD IS UP AND CHEST IS OUT!!!

Last edited by skinsgal; 12/07/07 09:12 PM.

BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
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SG- Warrior and Monster vanquisher!

(That's an awfully long title-oh well. Maybe you should just get a t-shirt that says "I beat up Bigfoot")

Blessings on you tonight-


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Oh My...

SG has become a WARRIOR GODDESS..

LOVE IT!!


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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