I think I made a major mistake implementing plan A, and then made it worse yesterday. When I told my WS (Who is thinking of leaving) that she needed to make that decision on her own but that there were boundaries that she would need to respect for use to work it out (NC with OM fir life, 100% commitment, no suggestions of open relationships or swinging) I gave her a deadline date of next weekend (Mistake # 1) I also told her that it was probably best that I stop paying so much attention to her by stopping the touching and kissing (I discovered that her EMs are affection, admiration and conversation). (Mistake #2). Yesterday, after thinking about what a mess I created, I decided to tell her that I was wrong in setting a deadline (It's only been three weeks since she told me it got physical), and asked her if the extra attention made her more confused. She told me that the removing of the deadline was confusing but the attention did not hurt my cause in any way.(Mistake #3) I had let my emotions get the best of me that first night, but now think that I may have made things worse by leaving her the impression that I am either weak, or completely insane.

Any advice?

TMTS,
sounds an awful lot like myself. Spending too much time second guessing and over analyzing my words and actions.
I think the biggest universal mistake I've made is in sharing too much information with WW about what I'm doing in trying to save our marriage. It's easy to justify being completely honest with her to lead by example, but you may give too much insight and hurt your cause long term by doing this. It's easy to prevent though.
You can tell her that you're committed to saving the marriage without revealing too much about your methodology or strategy.
The bottom line is that you will err from time to time. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're going thru an emotional S-Storm right now.
You're not alone. There are many here who can coach and help you.
Take the time to pause prior to speaking when you converse with your wife. Count to 3 if you need to each time. You'll be able to think more about your response, and perhaps avoid saying too much (as I always seem to do), and you will be improving the conversation EN that needs attention at the same time.
Hope that helps some.
I'm sorry for your pain.
Hang in there. As someone told me, "It's not over until you stop trying."

TMTS, start over on Plan A. We all make mistakes when 1st starting out. Learn from them and move forward. Trytohard gives you some good advice.

If you haven't read on plan A. There are some very good threads on what plan A is and isn't and how to implement.

Remember, this is hard on your WW, BUT it is also VERY hard on YOU too give yourself a break. You are trying and learning.

Ask questions if you have them on how to do a Plan A. Plenty of experienced MBers will respond.

I am starting to beleive that what I deem as mistake #3 may not have been so bad. In the last couple of days she does seem more responsive to the attention to her EMs and the tension has subsided some. We actualy laughs together again last night which is something that we used to do all the time, but had gone away in the last couple of years. I know there is still a long way to go and that the fog in her head can rear it's ugly head at any time, but at this point I will take it as it comes.

TMTS keep us updated. I'm glad at least a little tension was relieved with the laughter.