I will continue to post here ONLY when I am NOT in need of emotional support regarding my own situation of having been dumped by my WXH for an OW. I will no longer naively make the assumption that this site is a safe place for me to be on the days I most need assurance that adultery is indeed wrong and opposed.

I also now have some very strong doubts about the motives of some of the long-time posters here whom I had previously assumed were anti-adultery. I will NOT be told to 'ignore' anyone or anything I see here that I want to address! And I will NOT put up with being chastised for any of my posts from those who have PROVEN they care more about the feelings of an adulterous troll than they do about me! And if anyone posting here doesn't like what I post they can just IGNORE IT! After all, it's MY POV, right? Anyone who failed to criticize Back for what she said to me and others, and has yet to apologize for failing to defend us while coddling her, best keep quiet if they don't like my posts IMHO - yup just ignore it - after all it would be 'abusive' if you tried to tell or teach me anything that differs from MY POV, right?

"So this is a guy who, as he is in Christ, is "the one"... but definitely is bound by wrong lifestyle behavior. That's like the cocoon he needs to break out of to be free to be who I want and need him to be for me."

Anybody posting here who cannot see, or still stubbornly pretends not to see (or even be suspicious yet), about Back/Laura_Lee's agenda is either a fool or too entrenched in feuding versus other reasons to post here to admit they were wrong...IMHO...BTW MY POV - IGNORE it if you find it offensive! This has been a missed opportunity for those who claim they are anti-feuding to actually do something to decrease the feuding: to admit they were wrong and to apologize. I have noticed that even ForeverHers, despite his extremely gentle and respectful approach, has been criticized for his supposedly not treating Back nice enough... IMHO Back thinx she can count on those who have defended her no matter what she says or does now BECAUSE some of them seem far more interested in opposing certain posters they are feuding with over 'control' of this board and it's purpose than they are with opposing adultery and helping people recover from it. MAYBE after Back has picked you all off one-by-one while her remaining defenders chastise anyone who isn't coddling her, there will finally be an acknowledgement and apology? I'm not holding my breath... am sort of curious though as to who will be the last poster defiantly standing in 'defense' of Back, after all others have seen through her agenda AND admitted to it AND spoken up against it...

The above quote from Laura_Lee really translates to:

So this is a MARRIED MAN, as he is in Christ-who-endorses-my-getting-whatever-I-want, is "the one"...MY soulmate... but definitely is bound by his marriage and faithfulness to his wife. His marriage is like the cocoon he needs to break out of to be free to be my husband instead of with his wife.

EXACTLY! Especially this part!

Meremortal,

Thank you for clarifying your posting position. For me it helps to know how to view your posts.

You certainly are within your rights to do as you outlined. You are also correct it is best NOT to be naive.

These are your opinions and I will view them as such as I do others.

I see that some posters offend you. You have the right to block their posts. So some of the control is within your power as well and may be that will help you.

For me, when I see an offensive poster, I try to help clear the items in question, then if the poster continues to be offensive after that is done, then I use my controlling power as given to me by my MB posting status (i.e. block as needed). This way, I am able to keep objective in my posts.

See, I have my limits also as most others. I try hard NOT to dictate to others but I do dictate to myself (sounds funny but I hope you know what I mean <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ).

So your 'doubts' are for you to keep or resolve. You should know most of us better than that by now but if not, maybe you will later. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Again, thanks for the update.

L.

And you know MEDC I was really close to believing that everyone who was defending Back really was anti-feuding... that they really were just trying to get posters like you and MelodyLane to post in a more gentle manner.

But when they failed to even speak up in defense of ForeverHers, who was genuinely posting to Back in Christ-like love, they blew their cover IMHO.

Apparently some who defend Back are just as much hooked into feuding for the sake of feuding as those they accuse.

MM, you are aware that there are different ways to deal with an issue, right? Just because all don't jump in and say things exactly as you say it doesn't mean we approve of wrongdoing. I don't see coddling. There are many ways of getting to the truth and righting any wrong. Before that though it is best to make sure the correct understanding is out there.

Just wanted to clarify things a bit. The names of those who you believe are coddling have not been defined. I suspect I am in that group but who knows. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> If so, you'd better check again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

I agree Mrs Wonderng:

"As a matter of fact graplin when I first came here I was called a troll by another poster...My response made it pretty obvious that I was not-reaction is telling afterall...Perhaps you would find it interesting to note that MelodyLane came to my aid and defended me when it happened...She has a very well honed "troll detector" and I trust her judgement...

Mrs. W"

It's the way troll suspects behave that creates suspicion, and then the way they respond to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism about how/what THEY are posting is ignored OR used as an excuse to viciously attack others who may have even initially believed and defended them. Trolls don't fix the problems with their own postings because they DO want to cause problems.

Great point Mrs. W

I do...your current thread with Back is the epitome of coddling. She is being given free reign to run her mouth without retort(because you have asked to keep it between the two of you)...she is being indulged...which is the definition of coddling.

Agree...that is how I see it too...

Mrs. W

So, Orchid...I will respect your request for one on one for a short while longer...but if she continues to run her mouth, I will jump on that post even if it is against your wishes.

I also agree. She just doesn't know when to shut up. She respectfully declined to participate and then her mouth (fingers) got the best of her anyway.

I suppose if I was sitting her trashing a person with a small group of other people... all the things I were saying would seem to gain "weight".

That's how gossip works. Begins to sound like the truth to people... when repeated often.

Doesn't make it fair, reasonable, or true.

But some find it delectable.

I agree with MEDC Orchid:

Either YOU speak up against Back bashing regular posters on the special safe thread you created just for her... Or I will go there to start defending myself and others (a.k.a. 'abusing' poor wittle back)

I am HIGHLY offended by your continued coddling of her.

I have a MUCH better suggestion of where Back can go to feel safe from further criticism and scrutiny: back on over to the TOW site where she belongs!

If you STILL believe she really is a BW instead of an OW wanna-be I guess I only thought I knew you Orchid.

I'm only sorry I can't somehow alert the married man and wife she is so obsessed with as to how dangerously delusional and determined she is! Seriously, I'm worried about their safety. Why aren't you more concerned about Back's victims Orchid?

so, deny that you have posted under the moniker in question.
deny that you have not been married to this man you are pursuing.
bring forth facts instead of your usual [censored].

Hey! Here's a thought! Let's all trash Britney Spears. Our negative emotions can gain momentum... and who cares whether or not what we say bears any semblance to the truth in context.

We can feed ourselves at her expense!

Tabloid trash talk!

(That's what this sounds like.)

Btw, I like Britney and think people are just feeding something evil within... themselves... the way they feel the need to talk about her.

It's none of their business. They just think it is. ANd think they have the right to speak evil about her.

They don't.

Back:

Get your cowardly butt back over to that padded cell thread created just for you and stop posting here or I WILL STOP being civil to you and will start telling you what I REALLY think!

Better yet, get your butt back over to TOW and stay there!

If some of you people didn't create "trolls" in your own imagination, you'd have nowhere to go with the kind of negativity within yourselves that needs an object to obsess about.

I think you are sick.

I think you are a ho that is PRETENDING to be sick.

Whatever Laura_Lee...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

If those who consider themselves "righteous" need a hate object in order to feel "self-righteous"...

are they really right?

Or is something wrong?

I'd say, if you want to get over your sickness... stop obsessing... and give some time for the negativity within you to dissipate.

Grow.

Become more kind.

Heal.

Okay Santa. Have a nice night Laura_Lee.