My husband and I have been together for 16 years. We have 2 children together. My husband had an affair with OW in August. I found out in September, he left then we got back together in October. Things were great until the OW told my husband that she was pregnant with his babies. He took some time away from me again, but came back to me saying he loved me and wanted our marriage. We were living with my parents at the time while looking for a new place to begin our marriage/relationship again. That lasted for 3 weeks. During that 3 weeks the OW continued calling/texting my husband about the "pregnacy". On Nov. 2nd he left me to be by himself for awhile. We always stayed in contact with each other, talking daily. My husband got a house for himself and I found out the 3 days after Thanksgiving that the OW/preg. was moving in. He told me that although he loves me dearly he doesn't feel in love with me anymore. We had problems over the past couple of years however I never suspected or imagined anything like this happening. His affair has been 'outted'. The fact he lives with the OW is known to family/friends. There is more to her twist in this story - while my husband and I were together at my parents house, she told my husband that she was diagnosed with cancer. Everytime he and I get close, she has something else to tell him that causes pity for her. She kept telling him she needed him cause she had no one. She was also married when the affair happened, but since has been seperated.
I forgave my husband for his affair with OW. I never knew how deep my love is for my husband until this all happened. No matter what happens or has been done, my love grows deeper and stronger for this man.
He has told me he feels a need for us to remain close. That being friends is something he hopes and prays we can remain. We talk daily, actually throughout the day. Many times - we meet up 3-4 times each week so either the kids can see him briefly and hug him and tell him they love him OR for us to see one another. We have been intimate together ... often. We have kissed. Even with all of this, he acts so sad all the time. His own mother says he is sad and depressed unless he is with me and we are together for a little while. I can't say I believe the OW about the pregnacy or the cancer for that matter. When she said she was at a certain hospital one night, I called and the hospital told me she was NOT there. Its all so chaotic at times. I love my husband dearly - I have truly forgiven him for the affair and for alot. He knows how I feel. He calls me 90% of the time. I want to win back my husbands heart and show him that our marriage can be filled with happiness and joy and love, for each other, our children and for life again. I don't know what to do - he says he will never fade away from me - will never 'not' talk to me daily... I know that the OW started at first saying she didn't mind our 'relationship'. Lately I can tell she is not liking it much anymore, and she has no clue how much we talk much less how much we see each other.
If anyone has any advice please share with me. I am a woman who has learned (and told husband) that needing him in my life wasn't how things were - I wanted him in my life. I have recently learned those differences and he has seen the difference in me and my outlook on myself - he has asked why these changes he has noticed in me didn't happen 6 months ago - before all this other had happened. He seems to want to hold on, but feels forced or guilted into being 'there' for her and taking care of her and this pregnacy. HELP please... does anyone have any advice, ideas or know what any of this means? I'm so lost and devastated. I've been a stay at home mom for 6 years, I am having a huge problem finding a job so I can get a place for myself and my children. Husband is helping me each week. He is doing great with that - please help me win back the heart of my husband and find ways to get him to believe that he can change his life and be happy again....... please..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
