Edited to add: This post was originally written to go on BA's apology thread but it was locked before I finished. I still believe this post has some merit, so for that I have started this thread. This thread is not meant to continue the rude responses I have seen on other threads, this is just information I am choosing to share at this time. I would appreciate it if you could please be respectful in your responses on this thread. (Thank you).

Mel,

I would like to take the opportunity to respond to some posts you recently made:


Orchid: This is true. He is not the 1st to run people off this board, you have as well as I. Remember people come of their own accord for the most part and leave for the same reasons. SMB and tst could have chosen to continue posting here and put all the BA poster names on ignore. Their decision was to leave. SMB and tst can utilize the other MB tools Dr Harley has provided and if they truly want to recover, they will recover despite any poster from this board. Even if their personal friends and family discourage their recovery they can recover if that is their choice and they do it as a couple.

If a married couple let 1 person have such a great influence on their decisions, well then there is more that is needed in their M recovery. Personal recovery is also needed.

You and I have said similar to others in the past.


Orchid: Do you see the your above post as highly judgemental? Is that really your style? Are you now demanding we be angry like you and not forgive him as you have dictated? While these may be your POV, should you really be dictating them as well?

From what I see, the difference between you and I, is even if we are in agreement on a subject, I know I can give my POV but to demand others do the same is not my place. I know I may at times want to come close to making such demands but I work hard not to.

Think about it, if by some far reaching reason..... you, Medc, Mrs. W and others were wrong about the conclusions you reached, how would you feel when others embraced the misguided zeal just because Mel said it?



Orchid: Good to hear you support forum members. Stalking a troll is a waste of time. IDing it to mods is the recommended method.

Here's some research I posted on another thread. It will show that I don't support trolls. Instead these links show recommendations on how to id a troll. I am sure you realize we as a group have put the troll title on some that were truly not trolls. Now isn't that bad?




Orchid: See, as demanding as your above post can be taken, it is done in a question form so it still retains respect even to a poster you obviously do not like. This is your POV and recommendation. This type of response is constructive. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mel, I know you are a good poster who has and continues to help many. Because of that some like to emulate your opinions, style and conclusions. For that you are quite influential. As you can see sometimes that is a good thing and other times it c/b bad thing.

It is interesting that you, Medc (who is comfortable with his posting style) and Mrs. W are the 3 that responded 1st.

The apology went out to myself, Schoolbus, SMB and tst. I am responding because of that. Whether or not the others choose to respond is their choice.

We ALL have choices. Dealing with the A related issues has taught me a lot about how important it is to realize we can't fix or control everything or everyone. So the best thing to do, is set a good example, do the best we can and move forward.

Mel, I personally appreciate your posting style when you help others. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The other style when you are demanding and judgemental isn't as beneficial. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

For the record, just to clarify once again..... I do not support trolls or troll stalking. I do support giving support on MB. I do try to seek out the real reasons for a posters POV. I also realize I may not agree with everyone and don't expect everyone to agree with me. I also work hard on keeping my posts respectful as best as I can.

There have been some in the past, who jumped to the wrong conclusions regarding how I post. I hope this clears it up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thank you for taking the time to read this long response.


Sincerely,
Orchid

Orchid, as you can see, the thread in question was locked because it evolved into a fist fight between troll defenders and those who defend board members. It really makes no sense to create another controversial topic on yet another thread unless it is your goal to create more controversy. Apparantly IT IS because you have done this numerous times.

But I will address this statement above because it is so galling. And it is the moral equivalence argument being drawn between a stalker troll and sincere board members.

I think that is the probably the core of the problem with some here, that they draw some kind of bizarre moral equivalency between the two when no such moral equivalence exists.

There is a huge difference between a stalking troll who runs off highly distressed board members and what you term as board bullies. I know there are bullies, I encounter them every day here, but it would be ridiculous for me to lump you into the same category as a troll and make a moral equivalence argument. But that is what some are attempting to do.

But lets not allow our personal agendas distract from the real issue, which is this board TROLL. It doesn't matter how many or how few "board bullies" are on this board, none of that justifies this troll's despicable behavior here. So far, he has run off SMB and tst, another newcomer, maggiemagster, was run off when she was attacked by YOU for objecting to a troll.

I choose to support BOARD MEMBERS, instead of trolls. What say you, Orchid?

I find this and the rest of your post highly insulting Orchid...I can assure you that I can and do think for myself!!!

It's no secret around here that I like and admire Mel, but that does NOT mean that I am some robot of hers...Did it ever occur to you that some people become friends BECAUSE they are like minded?

Mrs. W

Mel: So far, he has run off SMB and tst, another newcomer, maggiemagster, was run off when she was attacked by a board member for objecting to a troll.

Orchid: Who attacked Maggiemaster for objecting to a troll? I know I asked her to stop following BA around and pointing describing him/her as a troll without explaining it.

Mel: I choose to support BOARD MEMBERS, instead of trolls. What say you, Orchid?

Orchid: Please go back and read my 1st post on this thread. It should answer your question.

Thank you for your response.

It really is a shame that all this defense is being afforded a TROLL instead of people who came here for help, SMB, tst, and maggiemagster.

And Orchid, yes you have supported a troll. BA appreciates your support greatly. It is too bad that SMB, tst, and maggiemagster can't make the same claim.

BestAdvocate:

maggiemagster is chastised by you for objecting to a troll, [thrown under the bus] and leaves the forum; and BA, the troll, thanks you for "defending me numberous times by the way."

My disappointment is GREAT, Orchid. GREAT.

Mrs. W,

I also like and admire Mel. I may not always agree with her but I do want to continue respecting her POVs as well as yours.

I am glad you are not a 'robot of hers' (as you described). I never challenged your friendship. You share the same ideals, that's fine.

The quote of mine that your put in your post was said prefaced by: . It was ended as a question, not a statement. You are insulted by a question?

I am sorry this thread insulted you. It was not written to be insulting. Btw, you and Medc were mentioned in this thread because your prior posts on other threads showed you shared the same POV. Didn't you both indicate that in prior posts?

Would you like me to remove your names from this post. It could be confusing to some to read this stuff without realizing who it is about but I can try..... would that lessen your feeling insulted?

I will respectfully wait for your response.

L.

Mel,

Your conclusion is going on the premise that BA is a troll. I don't share that conclusion with the same zeal as you do. Therefore, I don't see myself as supporting any troll.

I do realize that BA has posted offensively to some but not all. I do realize BA has had multiple user names.

I do realize BA sent out apologies not to all but to some. I do realize BA has not sent out his/her story (that is the posters choice) but may do so in the future.

I do realize that jumping to conclusions is never a good idea.

If you still choose to believe I support trolls, that is your opinion. Let's keep it at that.

Thank your for your response.

L.

Yes, Orchid, BA is a troll. A troll who was banned 20 times. And it is not my "opinion" that you supported a troll, it is a true fact. You can call him a dog fart if you choose, it won't change the truth that you supported him and not board members.

Nor will it change the fact that he has trolled and stalked newcomers so intensely that they LEFT the board.

Yet, you defend him and not fellow board members who came here for help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

We can play around with words but we can't play around with reality, Orchid. It might make you feel better to call him a ROSE, but that will not change reality. Nor does it help fellow board members.

My diappointment is GREAT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Mel:

Excuse me if I'm intruding upon a discussion between you and Orchid but you said something similar to me which I can't understand.

This:



What is the purpose of this statement?