i'm coming to your thread late because i don't usually hang out over here in the general section. i am usually on the after divorce/dating board. but there are a few threads here that catch my eye from time to time. generally, by then, they are about 40 pages long! lol

mlhb

Geex, Julie you scared the heck out of me in that last page! Good girl for not going there and NOT giving him money!!! My eyes bugged out when I read that.

I would NOT change your schedule with your son. First, when temporary custody is considered it may look like you can't handle the situation. I don't think you want that. Secondly, you could be starting someting with DS that you don't want either. I think the last thing the little guy needs is to hang with dad and his beer, while dad is upset about the LSA. He NEEDS stability, assurance that you both love him and that regardless of what happens, he will be OK...

What is it that he is doing that is getting him suspended?

Also, I would be mad as [email]H@LL[/email] that the school didn't inform you of what was going on. In terms of the temp custody you don't want the school saying anything that will cause DS to spend more time with dad.

Just my thoughts...

OOOh, Sicko, good point about the custody hearing. Thanks for that, I wouldn't have thought of it.

What's he doing to get suspended? Well, fighting mostly. Today he ran after a kid and "it started out as play fighting, but then it turned to a real fight. Well, not a real fight but a fight" and then a teacher saw them & brought them in, suspended.

I can't be "mad as ******" with this principal because of our relationship, but I can call Monday to re-iterate I should (still) be the first one called. But, in her defense, this is becoming old hat. Maybe she didn't want to "bother" me, or maybe H requested HE be first in command. Retalliation for not being "allowed" to pick up DD from her school? Not sure. FWIW, IM called & let me know as soon as H called her to say he was picking up DS. So, seemingly, H wanted to let me know. This still being pre-LSA papers in-hand.

OH, lastly, I CAN'T handle the situation! Are you swimming over? I seriously do not know what I'm going to do with this boy Mon-Wed next week! You know, people work...

Will Holly watch him?

Sigh...probably.

I feel like I'm really leaning on her and I don't like that. Like, she's not somebody I'm SUPPOSED to be leaning on.

And DS LIKES it there! After H got him back in last week, the next day he woke up & said, "mom, I don't want to go to school, I just want to stay home w/you or Holly".

UGH!

I am really glad DS has that appt with the counselor. I'm glad he likes going to Holly's I just hope she doesn't make it so much fun that he tries to get suspended so that he can go there and avoid school. She sounds like a good friend Julie, and we all can use good friends. Accept her friendship and support, you need it now. Someday you will have a chance to do it for someone else.

Beside what is goimg on at home, is there anything going on at school that could be a problem for DS? Did this all just start since the end of December?

Holly = stability. I think that will be very good for him and I hope you visit her as much as you can.

Hey, Mel: Holly is watching DS tomorrow & Tuesday. Till noon. Then my dad's going to keep him till I get home. Not sure about Wed yet, for either person.

OH, and the snake died. H has this snake w/a HUGE set-up in the basement, he's almost 9 yrs old. He spoke of coming to get it at one point but the kids talked him into letting him stay here. We've been feeding him & what-not...well, I don't know much about snakes. But this one's dead. Eh

So, my boss was out of town all week last week. Pay day was last week. I'm in Sales, and I'm paid twice monthly, straight commission. My check last week was $350. OUCH!

A colleague of mine pulled a boss-ain't-here last Thursday & Friday - he no-called/no-showed. Very unprofessional. Very immature.

This morning, he got fired! And then this afternoon, his buddy walked out! 2 people in my department weeded themselves out. My boss made the announcement & said she was going to run an ad. Immediately I went to my boss' office as I'm an opportunist but she was in a meeting, so I left a note I need to see her. Her meeting ran way over & she called me! I told her it could wait till morning & she was trying to get it out of me..."are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me?" I told her if it'll help her sleep we can talk now, and said what if, instead of running an ad, I carry that load - my territory is slow (LOTS of turn-over lately so I have to re-build) & I'm a sure thing, whereas a newbie is a crap-shoot. She said if I can get my call volume up & BE THERE she will transfer the big accounts to me. We will discuss more on Wed.

Score! Sorry this was so long, I'm a L O N G story-teller. Basically I know now that #1 - my job is secure; to the point of her being worried I was going to quit! #2 - my paychecks should start to grow with my soon-to-be newly acquired accounts.

Thanks for reading, if you did.

Glad that your job is going to be secure. That always helps! Hang in there.

Julie!

Good going for seeing the opportunity. You should be feeling proud of yourself for that. And probably relief too, considering you will be making more money. Obviously your boss hasn't give up on you like you feared.

How are things going today?

Yay Julie!!

Just wanted to let you know I'm still following along here!

Congrats on the new job responsibilities!

TT

Thanks for the encouragement. Things are...good!

DS is still suspended but he will meet his counselor tonight & then we have parent/teacher conferences. Last night I had DD's conferences & since I was busy w/that, DD & I skipped our meetings but I had my mom take DS. Secretly I'd hoped my mom would sit in on my meeting but she didn't. Anyway, DS returned home in a GREAT mood - said he really enjoyed the meeting & was glad he went. Just for my own reassurance, this morning I had him journal. The topic: Alateen. He raved about it. Big change from last Friday when he wrote me the "I hate Alateen" note from H's house.

As it turns out I scheduled DS to be w/me (not H) Easter weekend w/o realizing it, which I'm glad for since I was invited to my brother's so that's where we'll be. Easter each year marks the beginning of "birthday season" for us so it made me a LITTLE sad to make plans w/o H, but only briefly. He chose this! There was a death/funeral recently that I know hurt him & I felt a LITTLE bad I wasn't there to dress/accompany/pick a card for him, but again, he has released me from that role. And so, I release me!

Life is good...

Wow Julie! Such a wonderful turn of events for you!

Its so great to see you living life FOR YOU (and those kids!).

You are doing a great job, and are an inspiration to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope to be at the point that you are sometime in the near future...

TT

Those are powerful words my friend.

I was thinking the same thing, PM.

Good for you, Julie!

Fox

I am just SO impressed with you Julie. I hope you realize all the growth and strength you are demonstrating.

Thanks. Big day. Like to hear about it? Her it go:

DS stayed with IM today, he's been there the last 3 days but she told me this morning he was sitting quietly, and she saw a tear drop. Before she could look back, he was bawling. She called him over & he sat & bawled on her lap talking about he's supposed to be a big boy & he's mad at himself & sad about his dad & sad for his mom. She did a GREAT job making him feel better, loved, and accepted even though he was crying. Thank GOD for my IM!

Later IM's H put DS to work outside cleaning up the yard, etc. Of course, DS liked it.

Had his appt w/counselor & at first he met w/us both, asking me what my concerns are, etc., then kicked me out & spent the rest of the time w/DS. Again, DS was very happy, felt good about the appt and REALLY looks forward to next appt - Mon 3/17. Counselor asked for DS's teacher's contact info & also H's. He's going to contact teacher ASAP & H in "a couple weeks". OK with me!

Next DS's conferences. FLOURISHING academically - he's writing BEAUTIFUL/imaginitive/quality stories, etc. She said he's horribly loud & obnoxiuos in class though - he'll talk while she's giving a lesson, and then instead of retreating when she tells him, he'll just continue to talk - over her - very cocky and blatant. Hopefully by talking w/the psychologist they can come up w/a plan of some sort.

DD spent the evening w/H. Seems to have gone well. She told me H is planning to come by after I leave for work tomorrow & pick up his ladder from the side of the house. Also, he wants the corpse of the snake cuz he wants to have it stuffed. Good Lord. Taxidermists cost a lot of money! OH well, garbage men came today, sorry about that. DD is very upset - she didn't have the heart to tell H the snake is already dead (and gone) cuz "he really loved him and he's had him for so long"

It boggles how my children can twist priorities after just short exposure to H nowadays!

She said she heard H talking on the phone tonight, not sure to whom, saying, "I'm going for LSA...I gave her $5000 to pay off the house" Perhaps he's getting legal advice? GULP - where's the $5K?? OH, yea, "he gave you all his taxes to pay for the house" Apparently the popular belief is that I'm lying about the taxes. What-ev.

She's upset w/me cuz I won't talk to H. Thinks everything would be easier if I'd just talk to him. We talked a bit & part of me was willing to call. "He hasn't drank & drove in a really long time"..."all he does on the weekends when DS isn't there is sit home, bored, missing us"

**CAN ONE OF YOU CALL MY H PLEASE, AND TELL HIM TO JUST QUIT DRINKING THEN, SO WE CAN JUST GET ON WITH OUR LIVES??**

Sorry to yell. OK, H called IM - he's upset he wasn't informed of the conferences, he's never missed a conference. Um, hello buddy, I looked to my left & you weren't there - something about an apartment & bills to pay. So...I went to the dang conferences! Sheesh! Anyhoo he also wants copies of the tax return info cuz he thinks I'm lying.

I don't know, guys. I'm still in my happy place, don't worry. I don't think he's coming home though.

I'll repeat that.

I don't think this M is going to recover.

I wrote too much, didn't I?

Back in: I'm not going to call him. I have to face him in court on 4/1 - I have no choice in this, and choosing a downward spiral by way of phonecall to the active addict isn't going to go very well with the ALL ABOUT ME plan I'm currently following.

Copyright: Julie (of course)

I'm going to see what happens in court. THEN, and only then, will I consider stupid or helpful or destructive or appeasing-my-daughter or other ACTIONS on my part. I release myself from the need to keep this bullchit in my life.

Back to the Julie Show.

You are doing just fine. Hang in there. Your husband really needs to see that you won't be around him when he is boozing. Then he will have a choice to make. Hopefully he will stop drinking.