...because the more people know, the less effective it is. I swear I'm not a sales person or whatever...There is an online spyware program available called SpectorSoft. You can pay for it and download it instantly from their site. It costs around $100 but is worth every penny in piece of mind and help towards building a case. It can run in stealth mode- unfindable- and make a "snapshot" of the keystrokes and the computer screen up to every 3 seconds...meaning, you can read the IM's and discover passwords. I used it 7 years ago. It gave me back my piece of mind, and proved I wasn't so crazy as my a-hole ex claimed I was. Also, it helped me show his employer how he was misappropriating company "funds." Do yourself a favor and invest in this priceless program if you suspect your lover of misdeeds online (your computer only-it's illegal to put it on one you don't own).