When we started filling out D papers, my wife stated she wold like to live in Colorado, we live in West Virginia. All of our family is in this area, so I stated that she could, but without the kids. We discussed it some more, and agreed to place something in the D that would state either parent cannot move the kids away from the other. However, I cannot think of a good way to say it. Should I do it by distance, like 200 miles away? How is something like this usually worded?

Jive

I don't know about wording exactly but I have a friend who has some kind of clause in his agreement. In his case, neither parent can move outside of a 5 km radius of the school without a written "permission" (I'm sure that's not the word used) from the other. The gist of it is that if one of them moves further than that without the other's ok, then they give up their share of custody (they have a 50/50 arrangement). His XW recently asked him for such a letter as she is planning to move to a different part of the city where housing is cheaper. They have agreed to switch DD's residence address at the school to his so she can continue in the same school.

Also, they require to notify the other parent in writing if they plan to take their daughter on a trip more than 300 km away. No "permission" of any kind is required for this, just notification.

Get a lawyer if you don't have one. Each state is different. According to my lawyer, my children are now "my state's kids" and they must remain in this state unless both parent's agree. That is, there are strict guidelines needed to be able to move the kids. Find out what is normal in your state.

It also depends on who is considered the Parent of Primary Residence. If you get this, then the children would go to school in your area.

200 miles is very far, most people put far shorter distances in their agreements. Mine stated that I had to live in the same county, and within 45 minutes away, which I did.

Do you have the book MOm's House/Dad's House? If not, get it now. It has a wealth of information to use (particularly if you are drafting your own documents, there are things you've never considered, like vacations, holidays, events, etc.)

My decree says I am primary care provider and that I must remain in the county in which I resided at the time of the divorce OR in one of the immediately surrounding counties. I still live in the same house so we have had no issues there. Also, it says neither parent may take the children out of state w/out permission of the other parent and that the children may not spend the night away from home w/out other parent being informed (it has never hampered a sleep-over at a friend's).

This is not a big deal for us.

We have this kind of an arrangement - the kids will stay in the current school district. Either parent may move, but if they move more than 20 miles, they will lose their share of custody. Helps me sleep well at night.

Regarding specific wording, check with an attorney, but it needn't be anything fancy - mine is almost verbatim what I wrote above.

AGG

Thanks so much for the replies. Sounds like 200 miles is way to far. I thought it was anyway.

newly, thanks for the book idea. I will check into it for sure.

AGoodGuy/Tabby1-I really like the wording you used. I like the idea of the moving parent losing custody. I'm not going anywhere, but she has really no ties to this area, beside the OW she is with. Her family is here, however, she does not speak to them now that she is "out" so to speak, and I think she would really like to get away from them if possible.

Lots to think about.

Location depends alot on your wording. I think school district is too restrictive for my area as I'm 1 mile from 3 districts, so one parent could move and still be able to get the kids to school and shouldn't lose custody.
The same county theory works unless you are close to a border county or a border state, which may be closer than the other end of the county.
I moved 25 miles away (where I found an affordable home) and X balked and took me to court, even though it met the requirements of the decree. The judge was pissed that X took to court, and appealed. Some X's will never be happy with the wording.
The best you can hope for is to have both parents actually parent the children in the kids's best interest.

I hear the same sex issue hurts kids badly. I dont' know if yours already know, or if you plan counseling for them. My friend's BF (divorced) hasn't told his kids yet that mom switched, and they are very, very worried about the repercussions. (But mom rarely chooses to see kids anyway).