Point of clarification: When I said "friend", I didn't mean MALE. I meant friend, like a female friend. I don't advocate pretending that there is a guy in the mix for you, SS. That's playing with fire, and you already have a barn-burning going on. Don't add to that.


Another idea or two:

Leave him messages on "their" answering machine, thanking him for any little thing he might have done for you. ANY little thing at all. SHE will HATE IT AND LB ALL OVER THE PLACE. Because she doesn't want him doing a thing for you.

If there isn't an answering machine, well, it is completely and acceptably proper to send a thank-you note through the mail. Do it. And make sure it smells really nice.

Just for the heck of it, buy him a St. Patrick's Day card, and send it. Make it one that brings up a memory of an "inside joke" the two of you shared - so he has to explain it to her when he laughs.....or better yet, so he doesn't WANT to explain it to her. That is a nice way to drive a wedge between two people - by imposing your private moments in-between theirs. Put your secrets right in the middle of her face - little love notes, little cards. She won't be able to resist the problem.

And if she tries to toss your cards out before he gets them, you can capitalize on that, too. Just let him know you sent one - and when he doesn't get it, he WILL ask about it. Count on it. The LBs will follow.

And send stuff from the kids, too. The OW will hate the constant reminder of the FAMILY he has left behind, and he will have it pulling on the heartstrings.

Hang in there.

Have the kids make him a card with a drawing reminiscent of some family vacation or fun time together when you were all there. Something like, "Remember when you and Mom took us to see..."

Remind him of what was and what could be again...

At the same time, remind OW that she will NEVER have that history with him.

Mark

Hi, Serenity.

You might consider sending him a simple postcard, 6 days a week, every week, addressed to him at the other woman's house.

Just jot a simple one sentence note on each card, signed with a "Love you!". The note could be about anything interesting in your life. "Saw your dad today". "Jimmy lost another baby tooth". "Sally won first place in the spelling bee on Thursday!".

Have fun!

Gimble

Hi Gimble!!! Great to see you again - are you just visiting, or can you stay a while?

Thank you for your many words of wisdom.

Notsoyouneak

I tucked a teeny red thong in my H's suitcase when he went on a "solo" ski vacation. Little did I know that OW was with him (this was before D-day) and she absolutely FREAKED when SHE found them. She wasn't going to give them back. I don't know how he convinced her to return them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Neak! Good to hear from you.

I am just wandering through due to my current high workload, although I am hoping to spend more time on Marriage Builders soon.

Thanks for your kind words.

God bless,
Gimble