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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537 |
I started this to get input regarding the screening of potential MC/IC counselors.
There are none listed on the MB website for my area, and my several forays into finding a good one have not been good. I believe that the first one WW and I saw actually set us back. She stated that it wasn't necessary for WW to end her affair and go NC for us to work on the "real" problems in our marriage...
The second was only slightly more effective, choosing to focus on my "jealousy" and "poor communication". The fact that WW was lying habitually and offering justifications and blaming me for her choice to do this was lost on the counselor.
At any rate, anyone with ideas or suggestions on how to better ensure a pro-marriage counselor through pre-screening or whatever, please fire away!
BH(me): 40ish
FWW:(ILMH) 28yo
DS 3yo
Married 7yrs
Together 10 yrs
??? Spring '07 - Adultery Begins
8/25/07 - 1st D-day (week of our anniv.)
8/07 thru 5/08 - About a dozen D-days/Gaslighting/Flaunting/Fake Recoveries
She finally quit on...
1/1/08 - First real NC attempt(Maybe?)
3/1/08 - Told me OM is an A**hole.(Hope?)
5/3/08 - D-day (Admitted to PA once)
5/4/08 - Latest D-day(Finally confessed to multiple EA/PA in our home)
5/8/08 - Present
Struggling to hold on
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 140
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 140 |
Hi! Call the Harleys. Go to the counseling center on the home page of this site. Call and set up a phone session with Steve or Jennifer. Can't get more pro-marriage than they are. If you can get your WW to call, that's great.
Good Luck!
BS (me) 40
WW 38
DD 10
DS 7
Got "I don't love you" letter 8/05.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537
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OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537 |
I should have been more specific. I agree with you, LHL68 about the Harley's.
I'm looking for ideas around a local face to face counselor. Possibly someone who accepts insurance. Examples of what to ask when initially calling, other thoughts about philosophies, etc.
Thanks for the reply!
BH(me): 40ish
FWW:(ILMH) 28yo
DS 3yo
Married 7yrs
Together 10 yrs
??? Spring '07 - Adultery Begins
8/25/07 - 1st D-day (week of our anniv.)
8/07 thru 5/08 - About a dozen D-days/Gaslighting/Flaunting/Fake Recoveries
She finally quit on...
1/1/08 - First real NC attempt(Maybe?)
3/1/08 - Told me OM is an A**hole.(Hope?)
5/3/08 - D-day (Admitted to PA once)
5/4/08 - Latest D-day(Finally confessed to multiple EA/PA in our home)
5/8/08 - Present
Struggling to hold on
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
I'm at a point where I'm interested in a face to face with a counselor, but also need suggestions on questions to ask the counselor, to get a feel for their stance on how they handle infidelity. I wouldn't want to ruffle feathers, so if anybody has some tips or things they've done, please do tell.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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